It’s Official. I Have A Messed Up Head

It seems my brain has been kind of warped by this pandemic. I will hear things spoken, and before I can realize what they’re about, I’ll have a knee-jerk reaction that’s totally wrong.

Exhibit A: I heard a commercial that started with the words “Restart live shows.” Out of my mouth spewed the words “Are you nuts?” before it dawned on me that this was a commercial for Rogers, and more specifically, a PVR that could allow you to rewind a live broadcast.

Another time, I was distractedly watching TV and heard the words “Let’s Brunch!” I said “No thanks!” before realizing this was a commercial for a show called “Let’s Brunch”.

But the worst one happened when Steve turned the channel to hockey. Suddenly, I heard Joe Bowen say something like “Then the puck goes to the virus…” The virus? No, you dumbass, that’s Tavares. But for half a second, I was trying to figure out why they were talking about the virus there. Will I ever be able to think normally again?

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  1. There’s one thing along this line that my brain keeps doing. It started out as kind of a joke, but a few times recently I’ve caught myself thinking it legitimately. It really hit me last night while I was watching an ancient (at least a decade before the pandemic) episode of Forensic Files. Two guys broke into a family’s house, shot a guy, roughed up his wife and took several thousand dollars. The wife described them as wearing masks. That was considerate of them, I caught myself saying to myself. The hell is the matter with you, I then had to ask that same person.

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