AHHHHH! I’M NUTS! I MEAN OW, MY NUTS!

I have no idea what kind of drugs this fellow was supposedly on, but they don’t sound like the fun ones.

According to an arrest report from the Walton County Sheriff’s Office, on June 10 a caller reported a white man was “on drugs and threatening to kill the neighbors with a gun.” Deputies responded and made contact the man while he was walking on the road.
The man was soaked from sweat, according to the report, and told police his testicles were hurting. He said he thought he had parasites from swimming in the creek.
An officer asked him what happened at Cook Road, and he said he was yelling and cursing because his testicles were hurting. He said he was trying to use his neighbors’ phones, but they wouldn’t let him. He was “apologetic” for cursing and screaming, according to the report.
Police found his phone crushed in the middle of the road from where he had apparently thrown it down earlier.

There Are Two, Maybe Three Songs You Can Play On A Recorder. Are Any Of Them About Arson?

I don’t have a whole lot to add to whatever’s going on here besides that I have some family in Ingersoll, a random fact that I hope doesn’t become important.

Oxford OPP arrived at a small grass fire near a parking lot in downtown Ingersoll just before 9 p.m. Saturday.
Police said a man lit the grass on fire, stayed nearby and played what appeared to be a recorder. The suspect then attempted to light the grass on fire again before fleeing the area near King Street East and Water Street, police said.
The man had a small white dog with him. Police said a woman was also seen in the area who may have been with the suspect.

The small fire was extinguished by police and Ingersoll firefighters.

I want to know what song he was playing. Was he hoping it would encourage the fire like a rain dance or something?

Police, meanwhile, want to find a thin man with short dark hair who stands about five feet, eight inches tall and was last seen wearing a dark T-shirt and long blue and white plaid shorts. He may also be brandishing a recorder, at least in my mind.

No description of the woman is available, which seems odd until you compare it to everything else about this.

Ask About Our 911 Minutes Or It’s Free Guarantee

Today in stupid ass reasons for calling 911: The pizza wasn’t ready when my son and I came to collect it.

A 32-year-old woman dialled 911 at about 9 p.m. Monday to report her pizza wasn’t ready when she showed up at an Elgin, Ont., restaurant to pick it up, Leeds County OPP said.
When police arrived, they said the woman and her 10-year-old son were waiting in their car to file their culinary complaint.
“Officers educated her on the proper use of the 911 system,” OPP said in a news release.

32. I’ll say that again, because it bears repeating. She! Is! Thirty! Two!

But according to the police who showed up to “educate” her, what she wasn’t was under the influence of anything, which makes the whole thing so much worse. Oh, and she isn’t expected to face charges, which also doesn’t help. A bad deal all around, right here.

Come ON, Dude. I Triple Dong Dare You!

I don’t know if Richard Kuhn needs better friends, richer friends or a course on lying, but he clearly needs something. Maybe less time on his hands would be a good start.

On May 22, three women in three separate reports told Ocala police that a man exposed himself to them at Target, 2000 SW College Road, Ocala.
The first woman said she was in the home decor section when she noticed someone behind her. She said when she looked over at the person, she saw a man’s genitals. She reported the incident to Target employees.
A second woman said she was in the cold-foods section when she turned around and saw a man exposing himself. A third woman said she was in a women’s clothing aisle when a man walked up and exposed himself. Target employees found the man and detained him until an officer arrived.

The cold foods section? I’d be concerned about the potential for shrinkage, personally.

Anyway, when police arrived and interviewed Kuhn, he explained to them that the reason for his behaviour was the almighty dollar. Twenty of them, to be precise. He was at the store with some friends, you see, and they told him they’d give him twenty bucks if he would walk around the store and expose himself. Why he did it three times instead of quickly doing it once and then getting the hell out of there if he felt he must do it at all is a question that remains unanswered, as is who exactly these friends are.

Kuhn was charged with indecent exposure and later released on $3,000 bond.

Put The Money In The Bag. I’ll Be Outside Double Checking, So Don’t Try Anything

Bank robbery pretty clearly is not for Michael Gale Nash. Not only did he whip out the old write your hold-up note on a paper with your name and birthday written on the other side of it gimmick, but then he didn’t even bother running away once he got his money from a disproportionately frightened teller.

Anchorage police rapidly solved a bank robbery Tuesday after the suspect handed the teller a hold-up note with his name and birthdate on the back, according to a charging document filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Anchorage.
But Anchorage police didn’t even need that handy tip to arrest Michael Gale Nash after he left First National Bank Alaska on 36th Avenue in Midtown with $400 in a bag, the FBI says.
“It’s my understanding he was sitting outside the bank counting his money when police arrived,” said Staci Feger-Pellessier, a spokeswoman with the FBI in Alaska.

Nash entered the bank wearing a large backpack, sweater and blue jeans shortly after 4 p.m. Tuesday, documents say.

He handed the teller a note: “This is a hold up. Please put the money they want in the bag. God help us!!!”
The hold-up note was written on the back of a form from an organization that provides affordable housing in the Lower 48. Nash’s personal information was on the form.
Feger-Pellessier said she understands no weapon was involved.
The teller, new to the job, was “momentarily dazed,” and did not immediately follow steps to alert police and co-workers. But a manager noticed the look on her face after the teller interacted with Nash, learned the details and reported the crime.
The teller “was visibly shaken, displaying shortness of breath and on the verge of crying,” according to the affidavit by an FBI investigator.

Police say Nash confessed to the crime and was arrested, which temporarily solves his affordable housing problem. I doubt that was his plan all along, but at least he has something to show for his efforts.

My Quandary

Gill needs a little bit of help deciding on a gift for her mom. I think all of these sound nice and she’d be happy with any of them, more likely than not. But most of all I’m sure she’s just glad you’re ok and would tell you she doesn’t need anything beyond that.

Hi readers! I hope all is going well for you.

I have spent the last just over a week trying to decide on something. You know how I said I felt like I owed my mom something after she spent those three days in the hospital with me? Well I am going to ask you guys for some suggestions of things I could possibly do for her. Here are a couple of things that have crossed my mind.

  1. Take her for coffee or lunch – she loves going for coffee and nice meals.
  2. Gift card for a spa day – Let’s face it, she needs some spoiling!
  3. Making a meal together – Last year for her 70th birthday I, along with her help, brought Southeast Asia to her in the form of a noodle dish.

Question

Which one of these ideas do you like best, or do you have suggestions of your own?

Be Careful, Part Three

And now, the last part of Gill’s hospital story.

I spent the better part of three days in the hospital, and in that time I had some visitors. One was the friend who took me to the revival, the others were people who had kind of adopted me as their “daughter.”

Thursday and Friday I was less groggy and miserable, and was able to take a walk around the ward.

Blurs

On Saturday morning I went to see the original eye doctor who saw me Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, but I really don’t recall that. Clearer in my head is the annoying empty IV bag beeping, and the anti-clot medicine injected into my stomach at night. I also kind of remember snapping at a medical student for assuming I had to have someone help me go to the bathroom.

Mother’s Help

Friday night when I got home, I needed to wash the hospital smell off of me. The doctor said I should cover my eye to keep from exacerbating the infection. That night I had my mom wash my hair for me. That in itself was a humbling experience, because I’m not one to ask for help often. She also helped me apply the ointment that night and the next morning.

Shout Out

I’d like to thank all the nurses, medics, doctors, etc. I also owe a huge debt of gratitude to my mom, and everyone who called.

Quick Thinking

There’s an old saying that if something doesn’t feel right, look in to it further. I am on the road to recovery because I didn’t listen to the first doctor. I also believe that God had a hand in this, placing the right doctors and people at the right place.

Sign Off

I am about to go take my medicine now, and like I said, if something really isn’t feeling right, don’t ignore it.

I’m Not A Health Teacher, But I Play One At The Park

Were Otis Dawayne Ryan a Doug Ford voter, I’m guessing it would have more to do with the buck-a-beer promise than his pledge to make the sex education curriculum more conservative.

The incident occurred about 3 p.m. Sunday at a park in the area of Pier 60.
Officers said Ryan at first was approaching tourists and making inappropriate comments to women in an effort to get their male partners to confront him. An officer in the area was watching him at the time.
“I watched (Ryan) walk over to the busy playground area and climb to the top of one of the children’s toys that was being occupied by children between the ages of 4 and 6,” an officer wrote in an arrest report. “He then started shouting from the top telling the children that babies come out of women” — and used a vulgar term in doing so.
“At that time parents were rushing to the area to remove their children,” the officer wrote.

Police did some rushing of their own, hauling Ryan in on a charge of disorderly conduct.

Apparently justice is capable of moving swiftly sometimes, because Ryan has already been found guilty on that charge, fined $118 and ordered to stay away from the park. Perhaps this is due to some sort of frequent flyer program they have in Florida, as Ryan has been arrested a number of times in the last year on charges ranging from disorderly conduct to battery to carrying a concealed weapon.

Be Careful, Part Two


Here’s Gill with part two of her hospital stay. She’s slowly getting back to normal, which is nice.

When I left you guys, I was riding an ambulance speeding toward a hospital. When I got there I spent a good two-and-a-half hours laying on a gurney in the hall waiting for a room to come available. The medics wheeled me in to an intermediate care room. This, for our readers in other places, is a mid-level trauma room. I spent the next several hours in and out of sleep, having my vitals checked, and being looked at by doctors. At this point I still held a glimmer of hope that I’d be released.

Admition and Hallway Medicine

Early Wednesday morning one of the doctors came in and told me I was being admitted to a ward. By this point I was now on IV medicine, so I kind of figured I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. A few hours later someone took me from where I was to a ward. Unfortunately my room wasn’t ready just at that point, so it was hallway medicine for me for several more hours.

Mom Came By

Around ten Wednesday morning my mom, who lives about a hundred and fifty miles away, showed up. She found me in all my previous day’s clothes and doped up glory laying on a gurney in the hall.

The Room

About one that afternoon I finally was allowed in to the room where I would be staying. I was the baby of the four people in the room, and realized that I probably wouldn’t get much sleep.

Sign Off

Don’t be mad. I have to run along, but I will tell you more very soon.

Be Careful, Part One

Gill is back to tell us about her recent medical misadventure, or at least part of it. You can tell she’s still not quite right by the way this ends. We certainly wish her a speedy recovery.

Recently I had a health scare that got me to thinking about things. I will explain how in 48 short hours I went from thinking little of an issue to being on my way to the hospital. Though I’m not quite 100% Gillie, I’m working my way back from a rather frightening experience.

Before

Like any good timeline we must start prior to the issue. It was a cool Saturday when I went with some friends from my church to a revival meeting in a town about an hour away. Lunchtime came around and my friends and I decided to enjoy God’s creation with a picnic in a nearby park. We fellowshipped, ate, and enjoyed the beauty of a sunny day. Everything was perfect, until my friend’s fourteen-year-old son noticed a bug on my shoulder. He shooed it away, and I thought nothing of it.

Sunday Morning

I woke up at the usual time, and noticed the area surrounding my right eye was swollen. I didn’t think it was much more than either allergies or that pesky bug from the picnic. By that night, however, it was more uncomfortable than anything, and sleep was elusive. I still didn’t think anything was seriously wrong.

Monday

By Monday my right eye, a prosthetic, was painful and pretty much swollen shut. I scheduled an appointment with my general physician, and she suggested that it was just a minor infection and gave me some medicine.

Tuesday

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling worse than before, and someone pointed out to me that the swelling had started marching across to my other eye. I also became sick to my stomach, and said to several people that I felt like “death.” I postponed a Project Fun Weekend, and told my dad that I needed to go to the hospital. Tuesday night I went by ambulance to a local hospital.

Sign Off

Friends, I am tired. The medicine, of which I will speak later, is starting to work on me. So more soon.