I don’t know what this guy’s situation was ( either broke and hungry or total asshole seem like good bets), but whatever it was, it maybe should have been obvious that stuffing a container of piping hot spaghetti down his pants wasn’t going to be the best way to improve it. Stupidity at its highest […]
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
What Kind Of Justice System Threatens To Tape Shut The Mouth Of Someone So Articulate?
Meet Alan McCarty Jr., calm, levelheaded defendant. I don’t want to alarm you, but at the time this video was shot he was on trial for threatening a judge. I know. It seems impossible. Apparently all of this started over a child custody case, one that McCarty was a little confused about, if you can […]
You Can’t Half Your Cake And Eat It Too
I give this woman, or perhaps just her giant testicles, bonus points for trying. Yeah, definitely just the nuts. The rest of her *is* nuts and gets no bonus points for thinking this would work. The suspect, who has not been identified, entered the bakery section of the store and proceeded to eat half of […]
Come Visit Our Interactive What Not To Do Exhibit
This is so head slappingly stupid that you could be forgiven for thinking it couldn’t possibly be real. But it is real, because the world is sometimes a very dumb, garbage place. But I suppose in its own way this bout of ridiculousness is a fine example of why we need a human rights museum […]
Cars, The Floppotron Edition
And now, the Floppotron takes a crack at Cars by Gary Numan. I’ll let somebody else make the cars and drives jokes. Even I have my limits. *I totally do not have my limits.*
He Totally Blew His Stackhouse
I missed this story last year. While it’s an absolutely awful one, it checks too many of our boxes here for me not to mention it. It seems that Travis Stackhouse was given some cheesecake for Father’s Day. He had one piece, and then some of the damn kids got into it. This upset him, […]
Florida Or Not Florida
This is a fun little game. You will be presented with 20 actual news headlines. Your task is to correctly determine whether each one is something that happened in Florida or in another state. I did pretty well, scoring 14 right answers by correctly identifying five Floridians and nine non-Floridians. That number should be 16, […]
Today In Weird Ass Gathering Rules
Legitimate question: Is the Ontario government coming up with these new loosened gathering and reopening rules by using a dart board or a hat? Seriously, they read like nonsense. Now you can have a wedding or a funeral ceremony outside that can include 50 people as long as those people can distance, but the minute […]
Social Circles: Maybe Not The Worst Idea If You All Happen To Live Close Together
Ontario has come up with a new system that’s supposed to allow people to get closer to at least some of their family. It’s called a social circle, and it goes a little something like this. Creating what he called a “safe” social circle, the ministry physician said to start with your immediate household and […]
Gotta Smoke ‘Em All
If you’re going to play Pokemon Go in a park, maybe make sure the park is open. Oh, and maybe also leave your big ass drug stash at home. A Hillsborough deputy observed Ortiz had marijuana in plain view and also noted Ortiz was actively trying to catch a wild Pokemon. A search of Ortiz’s vehicle […]
