Let’s Fine Homeless People For Being Homeless. That’ll Fix Everything

Maybe I’m the idiot here (lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time), but it strikes me that the sort of people who are going to be sleeping on sidewalks aren’t going to be the sort of people who have $100 just kicking around. B.C. city approves bylaw that would fine people for sleeping on sidewalks

A B.C. city has adopted new amendments to a bylaw banning people from lying or sitting down on city streets.
Penticton City Council voted Tuesday night to approve amendments to its Good Neighbour bylaw that stops people from sitting or lying down on sections of the downtown core.
The amendments will also stop people from gathering outside vacant stores, and will be in effect every year between May and the end of September. Violators could face a $100 fine.

And again stop me if I’m the dumb one, but how are these rules not meant to target street people? If not them, then who? The occasional over-served college kid? For Christ’s sake, the Mayor can’t even make it all the way through his denial without basically admitting as much.

In a statement posted to the city’s website Thursday, Mayor John Vassilaki defended the potential additions to the bylaw.
“Downtown residents and businesses are tired of the bad behaviour and brazen crime they are witnessing and they’re demanding more solutions,” he said in the statement.
Vassilaki acknowledged he had heard from citizens in the week since the amendments who suggested the bylaw would target homeless people, but denied that bylaw officers would indiscriminately ticket them.
“Since our last Council meeting, concerned residents have said the proposed amendments will impact those without a home. That’s possible,” he wrote. “If someone who is homeless is obstructing passage along one of three designated sections of downtown high-traffic sidewalks…they will likely be approached by Bylaw Officers and be asked to move.”

Not that I expect there to be any (see stone, can’t get blood from a), but any revenue the city does manage to collect from this had better be going directly into programs like affordable housing and addiction services so that maybe we can actually help solve the problem instead of just shoeing it into a quieter neighbourhood.

All That Sleeping Around Was Going To Ketchup With You Eventually

A significant other being unfaithful to me is fortunately one of those areas in which I don’t have a lot of experience, so on one hand, who am I to judge Peter Wagman? Perhaps dousing a woman in ketchup while she sleeps is a perfectly reasonable reaction to concerns of infidelity. But on the other, he’s dousing a woman in ketchup while she sleeps. That’s weird.

Investigators say Peter Wagman, 37, and his 41-year-old girlfriend have recently “been in arguments over infidelity by the victim.” The couple, who live in Pinellas Park, have been together for 11 years.
At around 4:45 AM Sunday, cops report, the victim awoke “to ketchup being poured on her by” Wagman, who was yelling, “That’s what you get, bitch.”
When police arrived at the residence, they found the woman “covered in ketchup.” Wagman denied the condiment attack, though a patrolman noted that “he has ketchup on the right side of his pants.”

Wagman has pleaded not guilty to a count of misdemeanor domestic battery and has been ordered to have no contact with his girlfriend.

Did He Have Life Insurance? Because That’s Probably Good For Attempted Fraud

Two things here:

  1. The headline Authorities: Man who set himself on fire faces arson charge sounds like something I should be reading in a joke or in one of those stupid hoax stories designed to trick people who have neither a good eye nor a grasp on Google.
  2. What was this cop thinking? Yes it seems to have worked out ok, but shooting electricity at a flaming man covered in gasoline sounds like one of those things that has great potential to end rather poorly. Someone can feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about that.

Camden County authorities say Karl Ireland was violating a restraining order that barred him from the Berlin home. When police arrived, they found the 47-year-old Berlin man in the rear yard near a shed and ordered him to “show his hands.”
Authorities say Ireland instead poured gasoline on his head and somehow ignited a fire. An officer used a stun gun to force Ireland to the ground so they could extinguish the blaze and administer first aid.

Research This One

Man exposed himself near UT’s Pickle Research campus in northwest Austin, police say

The University of Texas Police Department is actively investigating an indecent exposure incident near the West J.J. Pickle Research campus in northwest Austin.
According to the release sent out by UTPD, the witness stated that a man approached her in the circle drive off the MoPac frontage road to ask for directions.
“While speaking with the man, she says he exposed himself,” the release states. “The witness immediately called 911.”

In case you’re like me and didn’t know this, yes, J.J. Pickle was a real person. He is known for many things, among them handing out squeaky rubber pickles to people he met on the street. So…uh…maybe this was a strange tribute of some kind. A stretch sure, but it might work as a defense for our boy here once the police get their hands on him.

You Sound Like My Ex

I thought I’d posted this one, but the search says otherwise.

Tim finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment as his wife watched. After a long period of silence she finally spoke.

“Honey, I’ve been thinking. Now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.”

Tim says nothing, but gets a horrified look on his face.

“Darling, what’s wrong,” she asks.

“For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife,” Tim says shakily.

“Ex wife!” she screams. “I didn’t know you were married before!”

“I wasn’t,” he replies.

Letting Pharmacists Handle Things A Doctor Isn’t Really Needed For Isn’t A Bad Idea

Ontario government may let pharmacists prescribe treatments for minor issues like sore throats

I’m all for this, assuming it’s well thought through and administered, of course. Not for reasons of my own convenience like the government seems to be suggesting here, but because anything that’s going to free up doctors to deal more personally with patients is hard to argue against.

If you’ve needed a doctor or have had to watch someone go through the medical system, you may have noticed that there’s at times far too much emphasis put on getting people out the door as quickly as possible rather than on listening, investigating and treating. People go to their doctor, obviously sick and in need of help, and the attitude they get is sometimes less of a how can I help you and more of a what do you expect me to do about it, why are you bothering me? I know at least a couple of people who, after dealing with illnesses themselves as best they can for days or weeks and getting nowhere, have gone in only to be told to basically rub some dirt on it and come back if they’re still shitty in another three weeks.

This isn’t because all of the doctors suck. Some of them do, but most of the time the problem is that their caseloads are absolutely nuts and there’s just no time for anything. If there’s a way to reduce that without negatively affecting care, why not do it? And if you’re going to do it, there probably isn’t a better group of people to put the responsibility in the hands of than pharmacists. They’re already the ones giving you the important details after your doctor throws a piece of paper at you and says here, take these, so why shouldn’t they be trusted with the flu shot or the weapons grade cough drops? They’re a readily available resource (think about how many drugstores there are in the average city/town), so why not use them to their fullest potential?

Pharmacists in Ontario could one day prescribe treatments for minor health issues such as pink eye or skin rashes.
The Progressive Conservative government announced in its recent budget that it intends to expand the scope of practice for certain regulated health professionals, such as pharmacists, nurse practitioners, dental specialists and optometrists.
Health Minister Christine Elliott said Thursday it’s about convenience for patients.

“Sometimes people aren’t able to get in to see their physician, for example, during the course of the day, but they can go in on weekends, they can go in the evenings to see the pharmacist,” she said. “If it’s a low-grade issue, then we believe that there are certain things that pharmacists should be able to treat.”

Pharmacists may also be allowed to administer the flu vaccine to children under five, Elliott said.
The specifics will have to be hammered out with the health professionals’ colleges and governing bodies, she said, and it could take up to a year for any changes to be in place. Additional training would likely be required.

Take It Out AT The Ball Game

So this is a thing that happened at a baseball game a few weeks ago. Angry fan at Mets game threatens young family and exposes himself to the kids

The incident happened in the ninth inning of the Mets’ 9-0 victory over the Phillies Tuesday night, when 20-year-old Richard Patrylo asked the father if he could use his phone, cops said.
The dad, 39, who was watching the game with his wife, 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter, said no — at which point the suspect lashed out, police said.
“I will f–k up your entire family!” he allegedly yelled, then dropped his pants, exposing his genitals.

Police say that Patrylo, who comes from Inwood, Long Island (which is great comedy for the 12-year-old in all of us), was drinking during the game, which comes as no surprise and honestly a bit of a relief.

He was charged with acting in a manner injurious to a child and public lewdness, charges that on the surface should be hard to fight since the victim’s son is said to have filmed everything on his own phone. No, I don’t have the video.

Don’t Be Different

Wow, what an absolute garbage decision. Somebody has a naturally occurring condition that happens to make her very good at something, so the solution is to force her to take drugs she doesn’t need, risking her health in the process, if she wants to continue her career? Fuck off, IAAF. Just fuck right off. And anyone who doesn’t see this as the straight up discrimination that it is can feel free to fuck right off with them until the day a differently built man has to go through the sorts of scrutiny that Caster Semenya has. The message is clear. If you don’t conform to what our definition of athlete is regardless of the consequences, you have no right to be an athlete. It’s absolute nonsense. It would be like making the really good Jeopardy contestants smash themselves in the head with a brick until they’re as dumb as the American president so that the others won’t have to worry about getting all butthurt when they’re dismantled by a superior player. Olympic runner Semenya loses fight over testosterone rules

The sports world’s highest court ruled Wednesday that Olympic champion Caster Semenya and other female runners like her with unusually high testosterone must take medication to reduce their levels of the male sex hormone if they want to compete in certain events — a landmark decision with far-reaching ramifications for other women’s sports.
In a 2-1 ruling, the Court of Arbitration for Sport upheld proposed rules issued by track’s governing body, the IAAF, saying that they are discriminatory but that “such discrimination is a necessary, reasonable and proportionate means” of “preserving the integrity of female athletics.”
The IAAF argued that high, naturally occurring levels of testosterone in athletes like Semenya with “intersex” characteristics that don’t conform to standard definitions of male and female give them an unfair competitive advantage, and it decreed a maximum level for females.
The court decision could open the way for similar rules in other women’s sports where size, speed and power make a difference, such as weightlifting, boxing, swimming, rugby, field hockey and soccer.

Government Decides To Do A Bunch Of Terrible Things More Slowly So We Won’t Notice Them As Much

In a rare moment of clarity, Doug Ford and whomever pulls the strings that make his arms and lips flap have decided that perhaps being universally hated might not always be so great and have kicked a few particularly stupid cuts down the road.

Ontario’s Progressive Conservative government has backed down on retroactive funding cuts to municipalities after sustained pressure from local leaders, who warned of devastating impacts to public health, child care and ambulance services.
Municipalities had been pushing back hard against the funding cuts, which were announced after they already passed this year’s budgets, saying they would need to raise taxes or cut services to cover the shortfall.
Premier Doug Ford said he heard from municipalities that they could find savings in their own budgets, but they needed more time to do so.

“We’ve come up with a conclusion that we’re going to work together,” he said Monday. “We’re going to maintain the funding throughout this year. Every mayor I talked to said they can find savings. So that’s good news. But they said they needed more runway.”

The Tories are trying to trim an $11.7-billion deficit and had announced a host of funding cuts to municipalities, including for public health, child care, ambulance services, libraries, tourism and conservation authorities.
Ford said Monday that the in-year cuts to public health, child care and land ambulance will not go ahead. It was not clear whether they would proceed next year.

I’m sure they will, unless it happens to be an election year. They’ll just be more sneaky about it.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I feel like perhaps this was done at least partially on purpose. Not necessarily by Ford himself, because he’s kind of dopey. But the ones who actually handle the hard work of being province ruining assholes day to day have to find some way of figuring out where the line is. How much of our slash and burn agenda can we get away with at once, basically. Even the dimmest of bulbs in the PC family have to know that some of their plans are going to be unpopular and that enacting them leaves only a few short years before most of them are out looking for work. That’s why they’ve come out of the gate so fast on so many things. You get the hard stuff out of the way early and then you can maybe paint yourselves in a better light later by funding a few things that’ll be fresh in the minds of people with short memories come 2022. And if you have to pull back, you can say “hey look, you guys! We’re listening to the people!” And then you know to slow down and chop the living hell out of things more stealthily. Instead of death by a thousand cuts a thousand at a time, you make death by a thousand cuts two or three at a time and it looks less egregious because it isn’t all laid out in front of us at once.

Maybe that’s giving them too much credit, but real bulls in china shops don’t ever listen to reason, so the fact that these ones appear to be for the moment suggests that there’s more than simple incompetence at work here. And when you think about it, that’s probably the worse of the two options. It means they’re self-aware and are being as awful as they are with intent.

Aww Nuts. What A Meth. Everything’s Going To Pot. I’m Such An Ass

When you’re a 13 times convicted felon, I don’t think it’s going too far out on that limb over there to say that decision making maybe isn’t one of your better qualities. This certainly seems to be the case with Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, who looks to be well on his way to conviction 14 and beyond after a couple of bad days in April.

The trouble started, as trouble often does, when Wilson managed to shoot himself in the nuts with a gun he was carrying in his pocket.

As a felon, he wasn’t supposed to have a gun. Thinking at least that far into the future, Wilson reportedly told his girlfriend to drive him first to a friend who would hide the weapon, and then to the hospital where he could get his weapon repaired.

Unfortunately for Wilson, he didn’t hide one other thing he wasn’t supposed to have. Scratch that. He actually did hide it, just not well enough.

While he was being operated on in hospital, a balloon containing marijuana fell out of his anus. This and the gunshot wound that started us down this path prompted staff there to get in touch with the authorities.

Those authorities eventually wound up searching Wilson’s car and finding something else he didn’t hide well enough, that being a bag of meth in the pocket of the blood soaked pants he took off when he got to the hospital.

Police decided not to arrest him right then, instead issuing a warrant. To his credit, Wilson did, a couple days later, turn himself in. But again (or perhaps that should be butt again), he proved not to be world hide and seek championship material.

A detective familiar with Wilson told jail officials that they might want to give him a good going over since he tends to like to stash things in his underside bin, if you will. And sure enough, during a strip search, another balloon of marijuana came out to say hello.

More charges followed, but that still wasn’t the end of it.

If anyone should know that the jail phone mightn’t be the best place from which to pester folks about not cooperating with the police, you would think that person would be a 13 times convicted felon. You would be wrong.

Police listening to calls Wilson made to his girlfriend decided there was enough there to charge him with four counts of tampering with a witness to go along with his drug and weapons charges.

Trials are ongoing, and at last word Wilson was still being held on $110,000 bail.