If I may offer you all one piece of advice as we head into this new year, it would be to never combine whatever stomach virus it is that everyone in the world seems to have right now with a very painful sinus infection. After eight days and counting of firsthand research on this subject, […]
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Bend Time For A Better Sleep
I’m starting to get irritated by the Casper mattress commercial. “Try it today for 100 nights risk free,” it says. How? I can do one or the other, but not both. That’s not how time works. How about “order today and try it for 100 nights risk free?” Is this really that hard?
He’s Got What In His Head?
A Thousand Miles From Nowhere by Dwight Yoakam just came on the Spotify. I hadn’t heard that song in ages. It even brought back an old, fuzzy memory that I doubt anybody else in the family would recall. I remember one night we were all out driving. Don’t ask me where we were going to […]
I Found A Store In A Mall That Gets Christmas Music Right. No, I Can’t Believe It Either
I need to give a shoutout to the Bootlegger in Kitchener’s Fairview Mall, one of the few stores seemingly in the world that has figured out how to handle its Christmas music. I was in there doing some Christmas shopping this week and I couldn’t help but notice their music mix. I don’t know who […]
Who Nearly Had A Worse Name: Creed Or The Black Crowes?
Most of the entries on this list of the 25 Worst Original Names of Famous Bands are just silly and not very good, but a couple of them easily hit “Holy shit, that really almost happened?” levels. They’re the sort of thing you might expect out of some punk band just looking to fuck with […]
We Lost A Court Case? What Do You Mean? I Don’t See Any Court Case Here
Who could have possibly seen this coming? The Ford government is trying to use the new powers it buried in the budget bill to dismiss at least eight lawsuits against it, including ones that it’s losing or has already lost. Tell us about the case of Adam Capay. This is a former inmate who was held […]
Phone Red Or Yellow? Goodbye, Scammy Fellow
I’m not sure how effective any of this will be since plenty of online spam still makes it through all of our blocking technology and into the hands of people willing to respond to it in volumes large enough for sending it to remain worthwhile, but I’m willing to wait and see. I’ll at least […]
Yes, I get Hung Up ON Little Things Sometimes. Kiss My Glute Region
I did get a chuckle out of these dunderheads driving their stolen car full of drugs straight into a RIDE program checkpoint, but I’m more hung up on the fact that somebody involved with either the creation of this news brief or the police press release it’s almost certainly sourced from decided to use the […]
Contrary To Things I Understand
I’ve never understood why sometimes in a news story it will say that someone was charged with fraud, for example, and then add “contrary to the criminal code.” What is the point of those words? It’s fraud. It’s not legal. Of course it’s contrary to the criminal code. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be in […]
I Could Use Some Sleep
You know your lack of sleep is getting to your brain when you’re about to get out of the shower, suddenly can’t remember if you’ve washed your hair and then do it again because you don’t think you can trust yourself to have done it. It’s only like the main thing you went in there […]
