Cleanup In Aisle 5

The funniest thing aboutthisisn’t that somebody thinks Northern Peaks is a good name for a porn channel or even that part of the draw is that much of it’s programming will be made in Canada thus ensuring that for the first time ever somebody will actually watch a Canadian movie. Oh no. What makes this …

Where’s The Crime Here?

Charlotte, NCA 46-year-old woman said she was assaulted by a family member for moving furniture in his house without permission. The woman was a guest in her relative’s home and took it upon herself to do a little remodeling. When her relative saw what she did, he got angry and tried to push a china …

How The Internet Works

I feel I need to explain this to Shakespear Feyissa, because he doesn’t seem to have clue 1 about online culture. He also seems to have missed out on clue 1 when it comes to journalism ethics, but his being a lawyer makes it easier for me to understand how anything related to ethics probably …

Doctor Penfield, I Smell Burnt Toast! And Computer Parts! And Curtains! And…

We’ve written about a lot of ridiculous gadgets here over the years, but I’m not sure if I’ve seen anything with quite as much disaster causing potential as this5.25 Inch Bay Toaster.I think thecented oil burnermight come close, but there seems to be more room for property loss here.

Dear Future Generations Of Swedes:

You have my deepest sympathies. And remember, when the day comes that you’ve had enough and finally snap, it wasn’t me who decided that your idiot parents should be allowed to name you something stupid like Budweiser. The guy you want to lay the beating on is Lars Tegenfeldt, and you might want to consider …

The English Language Was Also Killed

Hello, Guelph Mercury? Are you there? Yes, I’m talking to you. Is everybody there who knows what they’re doing on a long vacation, or does nobody give a shit anymore? I ask because I’m curious as to how garbage likethis makes it through your editing process, if you still have one that is. I’ll forgive …

Riding The Pine…No, Make That The Steel

I think it’s as hard for us to resist stories about the things people will try to fuck as it is for them to resist trying to fuck them. So in that spirit, here’s the story of a 41-year-old man from Hong Cong known only as Xing. Feeling lonely, he decided to try his luck …

Georgia On My Mind

If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you’ve probably heard that Russia and Georgia are currently at war. Understandably this has a lot of people very worried, including, and I bet you know where this is going,many residents of the former Soviet republic of Atlanta. This would normally be the part where I …