I Have A Hard Enough Time With Cold Dr. Pepper. Who Are These People Heating It UP?

Who am I to argue with Dick Clark, but nobody ever actually drank hot Dr. Pepper in real life, did they? Please tell me nobody ever did that. It cannot possibly be a thing that ever caught on outside of maybe a mental institute or two. It just can’t. Barfity barf barf.

No Thank You, Patron. That’s Snot Very Kind!

I read this story about a gas station attendant’s experience with customers these days. A lot of people suck, especially right now. But what really stood out to me was when she said people are spitting on the pumps and snotting on the pay pads! Even in normal times, who does that? Who?! I cannot …

Dear Blue Jays Advertising Department:

I don’t want anything hitting a beefy nutritiony home run in my mouth, especially not something with jack in its name. I’m sure Jack Link’s is a fine product, but I nearly chucked when I heard that ad just now. You’ve unleashed some rather off-putting commercials in the past, but this is by far your …

Please Stop Flushing Your Yorkshire Puddings Down The Toilet, You Barbarians! Sincerely, The Sewer Company

I have so many questions, chief among them how one accumulates enough unwanted Yorkshire puddings to cause this much damage. Is pudding flushing a thing people do now? Is this one person’s terrible hording issue? Is some restaurant somewhere disposing of them on an industrial scale? We're sure even our friends at @YorkshireWater wouldn't welcome …

Somebody Tried To Eat Those Canned Hamburgers. Tried Being The Key Word Here

Many years ago, Carin discovered that there is such a thing as a cheeseburger in a can. She had basically the reaction that you’re probably having right now, especially if this is the first time you’ve heard the words cheeseburger in a can presented to you in the context of it being a thing that …

Save Money, Live If The Ancient Cereal Doesn’t Kill You

I have an urge to go through every cupboard in our house all of a sudden, not to mention a simultaneous urge to maybe never shop at Walmart again. I can’t quite put my finger on why either of these things might be. A Lakewood family bought a box of Quaker 100% Natural Granola cereal …

We Had To Go, And It Shows

Oh hey! A horrible flying story that involves neither midair gropey time nor United! Fun! Watch as Nicole Byer, who I will confess to never having heard of until this moment, tells Conan O’Brien about the time she found a nice big dump in her Delta blanket. Man, those first class people get all the …