Not sure how poor Reese McGuire is ever going to live this one down. Any time a commentator makes a reference to choking up on the lumber or getting some good wood on that ball, this is all anybody’s going to be thinking about. And don’t even get me started on what he might be […]
Category Archives: do it yourself
That’s Not Why It’s Called Headquarters
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but it’s been a while. We don’t know exactly what brought Jamesley Jaques (pronounced Jacks even though it most likely isn’t but you’ll know why it is in a second) to the police station, but the reason he might be staying there a little longer […]
Imagine Having To Look At That Photo Lineup
Without even looking at him, you can tell that Timothy Odell is 60 years old. How? Because he’s still sending out his dick pics the old fashioned way. An officer with the Layton Police Department says Timothy James Odell went shopping at the Neighborhood Walmart at 1356 E. Highway 193 in Layton on the morning […]
Frozen? Naah. It’s Getting Pretty Hot In Here, Actually
Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated. Then he put it back on the display. Authorities […]
Leave Them Alone
If anyone has any good leaf blower or raking and bagging jokes, now seems like a good time for them. A drunk man filmed ‘thrusting’ at a pile of leaves with his trousers round his ankles has been jailed for eight weeks. Michael Golsorkhi, 26, abandoned the missionary position and scuttled away into nearby bushes […]
Research This One
Man exposed himself near UT’s Pickle Research campus in northwest Austin, police say The University of Texas Police Department is actively investigating an indecent exposure incident near the West J.J. Pickle Research campus in northwest Austin. According to the release sent out by UTPD, the witness stated that a man approached her in the circle […]
Take It Out AT The Ball Game
So this is a thing that happened at a baseball game a few weeks ago. Angry fan at Mets game threatens young family and exposes himself to the kids The incident happened in the ninth inning of the Mets’ 9-0 victory over the Phillies Tuesday night, when 20-year-old Richard Patrylo asked the father if he […]
Punch Cock
Listen up, everyone at work right now. Maybe this feels like it might be a good time to take a break, head to the bathroom and rub one out. But before you do, I want you to ask yourself a couple of questions. How quiet am I? Is it worth getting my ass fired if […]
Take One…Out Of My Pants
Somehow I missed this one last summer. When Rebecca McKay went to her band’s studio last week, she found something she never expected. A man, shirtless and sweating, allegedly masturbating to pornography on the band’s computer was sitting on the couch in the mixing room. He quickly tried to come up with a cover story […]
And…That’s One
Hopefully this isn’t the beginning of another list. And why the apparently fake dong? Do those come in the official city of Guelph indecent acts starter kit so you can decide whether the new town hobby is truly for you? On Feb. 19, 2019 between 8 and 8:20 a.m., a 13-year-old female was walking to […]
