I have no idea how I should start this, so let’s just get to the good stuff. *Note: Good stuff is not actually good at all…at least not for most of us.* Eric Detiege, 47, was arrested in March by cops responding to a suspicious person call in Oldsmar, a Tampa suburb. Officers found a …
Category Archives: do it yourself
Whataflasher
Not that any of you need a reason to refrain from exposing yourselves in a Whataburger drive thru, but if you’ve been on the fence about it, perhaps knowing that you won’t be fatally exposed to a great big truck while running away if you don’t might swing your vote. When the officer arrived, the …
Gotta Go. Bone’s Dead
Never lie to your doctor. If you’ve somehow managed to lose a phone cable up your dong, just say so. Any embarrassment you may suffer will almost certainly pale in comparison to the week of unnecessary pain you’ll go through while they try to figure out why they can’t find the headphones you said you …
Dollar Genital
A couple of things here: If your justification for doing almost anything is I saw it in a porn movie once so thought she might like it, a better justification is probably in order. Are there a lot of porn movies in which a strange man exposes himself to a mother and her young son …
This Old Man, 74, Tied Used Condoms To My Door
So you know you want to be creepy and gross to the womenfolk, but you aren’t so sure that you want to be quite as in your face about it as some people. What do you do? Well, if you’re this particular fellow, you leave an extra package on their cars while they’re off enjoying …
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Welcome To Ballmart
A 65-year-old Iowa man could spend up to a year in jail if convicted of charges resulting from an incident that saw him riding around a Walmart in one of the store’s electric carts whilst polishing the old pricing gun. Gary Michael Sheriff was accused of indecent exposure when he “exposed his genitals to customers …
Reese’s Pieces
The Reese McGuire public masturbation case has been resolved. It actually wound up over the summer, but this is me we’re dealing with here and I’m not always the quickest at getting to these things. Toronto Blue Jays catcher Reese McGuire has pleaded no contest to a disorderly conduct charge — a second-degree misdemeanour — …
Try Before You Buy
I haven’t been seeing nearly as much of this sort of thing lately (Virus keeping all of them at home?), especially not ones starring women. A Fort Pierce cop was dispatched early Tuesday evening to the Lion’s Den Adult Superstore “in reference to a disturbance,” according to an arrest affidavit. En route to the business, …
There’s A Whitewater Rapids Joke In Here Somewhere
Another dude has been caught slipping his baby mayo into the drink of an unsuspecting woman, but this time it’s not because he was trying to win her affection. Robert Tyson, 63, was found guilty last year of twice doing the deed to the water mug of a coworker he was having issues with. He …
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Faptism
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not understand the appeal of meth. I mean sure, maybe beating off in a baptismal pool in front of a church full of people is fun for some folks, but I am not those folks. One person who is those folks is 21-year-old Zachary …
