Give Me Back That Filet-Of-Fish, Give Me That Fish

Damn this story, it has this commercial swirling around in my head. Rashon East thought the McDonald’s employee was taking too damn long to give him his filet-o-fish. So…he decided to climb through the window and get it himself. Oh, and to slap the employee and smack him against the counter too. Then, when the …

Hidy-Hoe, Neighbour!

Wow. Don’t get between 80-year-old Gene Chambers and his Little Debbie oatmeal cookies. Apparently they mean a lot to this guy. Chambers somehow got it into his head that his neighbours had broken into his house and stolen 7 boxes of Little Debbie’s oatmeal cookies. So he was going to get them back. First, he …

Supper Soaker

Wow, police and jail officials don’t just have to worry about warding off well-used and bloody female sanitary napkins. Now breast milk has been used as a weapon. Toni Tramel was arrested for public intoxication. As she was changing into a prison uniform, she decided to squirt breast milk in the face of the deputy …

You Don’t Need A Napkin, What You Need Is More Sauce

If ever you have occasion to eat kebabs in Germany, do not wipe your food covered hands anywhere on the seller’s stand even though he won’t let you have any napkins. Doing so may be grounds for receivinga ladle full of hot sauce to the eyes. Police in the city of Bremen have taken a …

I’m Hit With A Burrito, Covered In Refried Beans

When a story involvessome idiot doing something dangerous and stupid and calling it a prank *and* a person covered with food,you know we’re posting it. According to a police report, John Addie was driving his Honda when he noticed someone lean out of an approaching white Dodge and throw something. The next thing Addie knew his …

Crazy Lunch Lady Land

Wow. Both people involved in this food feud sound like prizes. Where did it take place? In a school cafeteria. In this corner, we have a 13-year-old girl who is in fifth grade. She’s 13 and she’s still in the fifth grade? I hope there’s an explanation for that. And in the other corner, we …

I Guess You Are What You Eat

You’d think that someone buying crab cakes would act in a more civilized manner than spitting in a manager’s face, head-butting him, and hitting him five or six times in the face, breaking his glasses. But that’s what Ralph Barr did. He bought a bunch of crab cakes because they had a price on them …

The Goommba’s Pizzeria School of Customer Service

Wow. I think Maria Del Rayo Cordero has to get a refresher on what good customer service is. It does not involve telling a customer, when they say they got the wrong food, to pay for it and leave. It also does not involve heaving a tray of food at them and clonking them in …