Think Outside The Bun. Here, I’ll Show You How

We have an entire section here devoted largely to people being unhappy about food. This story is one of those, but it’s different. For instead of ending as so many do in assault, property damage or both, this one serves as a reminder that, like your dad and granddad always told you, if you want …

All That Sleeping Around Was Going To Ketchup With You Eventually

A significant other being unfaithful to me is fortunately one of those areas in which I don’t have a lot of experience, so on one hand, who am I to judge Peter Wagman? Perhaps dousing a woman in ketchup while she sleeps is a perfectly reasonable reaction to concerns of infidelity. But on the other, …

Today’s Special Is Domestic Violence

If this happened to most of us it would be the strangest experience of our lives, but in Florida I bet it’s just Monday. According to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office probable cause affidavit, Dankner and his mother were in their backyard when he asked her to dress his mannequin. After she refused to …

Next Time I’ll Kick You In The Bag

I’m not going to say I don’t understand the impulse because there isn’t much worse than finding your bread or eggs down at the bottom of a bag full of heavy shit, but it is important at times like those to do our best to act like a big boy and deal with the situation …

This Sandwich Is Cold. Here, Try Some

I want to know more about this “verbal altercation.” Can you please reheat this for me should not devolve into a food feud assuming that’s how the request was made. I’m assuming it wasn’t, but we may never know. Corinthian Jones, 19, purchased the sandwich Friday night at a 7-Eleven in Bradenton, Florida. Jones got …

Did Somebody Say Extra Ketchup?

This is basically your standard “I am displeased with the level of customer service and attention to detail at this establishment and shall soon turn to physical means to express such” story. We’ve been collecting them for ages, but I’m still sometimes surprised by how many there are. Mayra Berenice Gallo, 24, allegedly became enraged …

How Do You Say Is Ear Of Owner On Special Tonight In Chinese

Customers and employees argue over restaurant food all the time, but rarely does one incident lead to three 911 calls. Deputies say 24-year-old Jade Anderson walked ito the restaurant complaining about her order. She was complaining to the owners, who are also the victims in the assault. Due to a language barrier, the victim’s son …

Assault And Vinegar

What goes better with dip than chips? A South Carolina man turned violent in a dispute over salt-and-vinegar potato chips, authorities said. Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, had warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his chips, but when his relative did, Langdale shot him, authorities said Wednesday. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” …