“What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?” “I Appear To Be Lost In An Administrative Loop”

This is hardly the dumbest 911 story we’ve ever seen, but something about it keeps saying “Steve, post me,” so who am I to argue? Police say that on Feb. 2, the man attended the Superior Court of Justice to obtain help completing family court documents. After staff advised they are not permitted to provide …

Plumbing Issue…Exhibition…This Post May Not Need Me

“What kind of creep has cameras in his bedroom,” this guy probably asked? Guelph police said a man went to a house to repair a plumbing issue in the Exhibition Park area on April 7. Once inside the home, they said the maintenance worker looked in the fridge before going into the homeowner’s bedroom. Then, …

Get Ready To Remember Another Damn Area Code, Southern Ontario

I know the answer is that nowadays each individual has at least one and sometimes more depending on his job, but now and then I still can’t help asking myself just how in the hell there are so many phones. Even though southern Ontario just got a third area code in 2016, its already in …

Let’s Get Together…For a Breath Test

You’ll never guess what a woman who handed the cops an LCBO gift card instead of her driver’s licence during a traffic stop was arrested for. Either that or it’ll be about as easy as the collar itself. Who can say? An Orangeville-area female was arrested for impaired driving in Guelph Friday morning after handing …

Don’t Make Me Tell You Again Again

Male with two lifetime driving bans caught driving again, say police Just going to go ahead and ask the obvious question here. How is it possible to be banned for life from the same thing twice? But perhaps more importantly, why? What good is it doing? Clearly not much. Let’s think about this a moment. …

Cart2Curb Has Been Good2Me

I discovered something that can hopefully get me out of a bind if I remember it’s here, and if it stays around of course. I was playing around on You Gotta Shop Here to figure out how it worked, and stumbled across Cart2Curb, a delivery service that serves the region and Guelph too. They’re like …

Sir, We Donut Want You Eating In Here

It seems to me that if I were an identity thief and a shoplifter who was already on probation, I would want to keep a low profile. What I would not want is to be caught doing something silly like, say, being an asshole to store clerks during a pandemic. Guelph police were first called …

Stop, Listen, Think

Guelph woman loses $3,800 in bitcoin scam involving fake government official Forget for a moment that the government or police or whoever is telling you to send them bitcoin in order to sort out a court case. Don’t ever send it, but for now that’s the least of our problems. What I’m more concerned about …

I Bring This Stuff Everywhere. You Can Never Be Too Careful With So Many Thieves Around

Rare is the day when I actively hope that a person is homeless, but today is that day. Because if this woman wasn’t, what was she thinki…never mind. I really ought to know better than this by now. A 23-year-old Guelph woman has been charged after police say she brought several bags of stolen property …