When I’m Done, We’ll Both Be Exhausted

A Kansas man who has not yet been identified since formal charges of misdemeanor lewd and lascivious behaviour have not yet been filed was arrested this week after being found attempting to have drunken sex with a car. Police in Newton, a city 25 miles north of Wichita, responded Tuesday to a 911 call about […]

I Heard They Were Extinct And I Thought I Could Help

“So, what’d you do this weekend?” “Not too much. Paid the rent, did the laundry, watched some baseball…How about you? Did you get up to anything exciting?” “Well, I went to the dinosaur theme park and got it on with a statue of a hatching T rex, does that count? Police officers investigating images of […]

Slip In Slide

A man with a fetish for children’s playground equipment has been banned from going anywhere that has a slide. Christopher Johnson, 46, of Coventry, was arrested after simulating a sexual act with a slide. He pleaded guilty at Coventry Magistrates’ Court to outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner and received a three-year […]

Mountain Do

Don’t do meth, everyone. Dominic Howells, prosecuting, said the owner of an allotment near Harwood Street found the shed had been broken into and the contents spread all around. Among the wreckage she found the teddy bear. “That was passed to the police and semen found inside came back to this defendant,” said Mr Howells. […]

It’s A Mailbox, Not A Malebox

This is why they let bartenders cut you off, I’m pretty certain. Katie Beattie, prosecuting, told the court that on September 9 last year the complainant heard shouting and swearing outside her window. The witness saw the drunken 45-year-old defendant arguing with a woman. After the woman left, Bennett lay down on a bench in […]