With A Name Like That, No Wonder Things Turned Into Such A Meth

On the 4100 block of 34th Street, at 3:43 p.m., Sacramento police responded to a welfare check call, and found two children – ages 3 and 4 – walking in the street unsupervised. After some time and presumably a little bit of good old fashioned police work, their mother was also located. She was arrested […]

Excuse Me Officer, Can You Help Me Find More Trouble Than I’m Already In?

for most guys, asking for directions is something we just don’t do. And for this guy, it’s something he probably shouldn’t have done. Kenneth Charlton, 41, found himself a little lost one morning. So when he saw a police cruiser parked by the side of the road, he decided to ask the friendly officer inside […]

Fetuses Are People, Right Up Until They Start Costing Us Large Sums Of Money

I don’t want to get into a great big religion debate here, but I have to ask. How much is your faith actually worth to you when you’ll toss one of your core beliefs aside completely in order to have a wrongful death lawsuit against you thrown out? The case involves the 2006 death of […]

Your Local Emergency Room Wishes You A Happy Gun Appreciation Day

January 19th was the first ever Gun Appreciation Day in America. Yes, Gun Appreciation Day is exactly what it sounds like. Right wing groups getting together to organize a celebration of firearms in response to the renewed push for gun control laws. I don’t want to go off on a big gun control rant or […]

Those 12 Steps Will come In Handy, Since He May Soon Be Walking Everywhere

If only Donald Blood III had humbly asked his greater power to remove his shortcomings, perhaps none of this would be happening. To be specific, the shortcoming that prevents him from being able to distinguish a paved parking lot from a grass-filled lawn. That one’s causing all kinds of problems for him right now. And […]

The Appropriate Name Of The Year Award Winner Is Already In The Bag

February 2015 Update: Reber was found guilty of felony battery and will be spending the next two years in jail. Our victim ended up requiring reconstructive scrotal surgery, which sounds about quarter past terrifying. He is said to still be suffering from pain today, nearly 3 years after the attack. That makes two of us, […]

A Post With A Bunch Of Stuff In It Just To Show You We’re Alive

So…this place sure has been hopping lately, eh? Yeah…about that. I’m sorry. Really, I am. But to be honest, it can’t be helped, and I can’t say when it’s going to get better. I don’t want to get into a whole lot of specifics, so I’ll leave it at this: There are a few things […]

>I May Have Assaulted Her, But I Did It In The Nicest Way I Could

>I don’t have a whole lot to say about the felony assault trial of Houston hand surgeon Michael Brown. I’m just hear to draw your attention to one rather amusing detail. Prosecutors this morning said Brown, 54, threw two heavy vases and a humanitarian award at his wife in a the fight that ended with […]