I was in a pub last Saturday night, and after drinking a few I noticed two very robust-looking women at the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?”
“It’s Wales, you idiot!”, One of them snapped back.
I immediately apologized.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “are you two whales from Ireland?”
Carin and I don’t generally send these sorts of texts to each other, but if we did, I imagine this is how it would end.
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text;
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
Carin kinda sorta suggested I soundtrack this.
It’s terrible, but it’s starting to grow on me. Plus it’s been mailed to me at least three times, so the people have spokenish.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom.
First he goes to get a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever, but he gets the flowers.
Next he heads to get a limo, but of course there’s a long limo line at the rental office. It takes a long time, but he gets the job done.
Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and having a good time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch. So he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.