I saw this on Facebook and laughed, so I stole it. CORRESPONDENCE WITH SANTA: Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and …
Category Archives: jokes
Peas
We haven’t posted many jokes lately, so here’s one. Credit or blame goes to Carin who saw it on Facebook and knew I would laugh. Q: What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas? A: Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but chickpeas can only hummus one.
What Are You?
I wish I’d thought of this. I may have to use it some Halloween. I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform. “I’m assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?” I asked. The …
Tap
I woke up first thing this morning to a tap on my door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour.
An Irish Ghost Story
This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s true. John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car …
Poor Guy
I’m attracted to women of colour, but I can’t date them. Apparently my wife is a racist.
Now Batting
When my 14-year-old son, Patrick, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, “Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!” After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker. “Sorry folks, that’s PAT Hogan!”
German Shepherd
I’m really angry! Every morning a huge German Shepherd poos on my front lawn. Today, to make matters worse, he brought his dog!
Accident
I’ve just accidentally sent a naked photo of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only is it embarrassing, it’s cost a fortune in stamps.
Siri Is Much Funnier Than Google
If you have access to one you might already know this, but your digital assistant (Google, Siri, probably Alexa) will tell you a joke if you ask. I do this sometimes for my own amusement or in search of a joke I can send to my family. Plenty of these jokes are not very good, …
