Yes, I get Hung Up ON Little Things Sometimes. Kiss My Glute Region

I did get a chuckle out of these dunderheads driving their stolen car full of drugs straight into a RIDE program checkpoint, but I’m more hung up on the fact that somebody involved with either the creation of this news brief or the police press release it’s almost certainly sourced from decided to use the […]

This Bud’s For You. This Warrant? Not So Much

Good on Billy Bob Hall for doing the right thing and turning himself in to police so that he could take care of his warrants. But perhaps before he started in on the liquid courage, he should have made sure those warrants existed. They didn’t. Billy Bob Hall, 59, thought he was the subject of […]

You Just Can’t Trust Anybody Nowadays

William Kelley left the keys to his truck on the seat of that very same truck. Naturally, somebody came along and took it. Also naturally, Kelley called the local police to report the theft. But of course, since you’re here, it turns out that Kelley forgot to consider one little thing before he did so. […]

I’d Like To Report A Robbery. Someone Has Stolen My Good Sense

I’m trying to figure out exactly what Rachel Thornburg thought was going to happen here. Was the idea that police would give up on chasing her after a certain point, she would abandon the car someplace and then pick it up later once the heat had hopefully died down? I suppose that’s not the stupidest […]

At Least She Knows Her Cameras Work

I understand that this stems from a neighbourhood dispute that Annie Durham appears to be on the right side of. I also understand that long simmering frustration can absolutely cloud one’s thinking. But unfortunately for her, those fluffy little anger clouds became a thunderstorm of imbecility and she didn’t have an umbrella handy. How else […]

That’s The Last Time I Give Someone An Eskimo Kiss

It’s never not funny when you’re watching Cops and you see some guy explaining to the officer that he doesn’t know what might be found in the pants he’s wearing because they’re not his, he’s just borrowing them from a buddy. I feel like perhaps Fabricio Tueros Jimenez may have seen one of those episodes […]

Aww Nuts. What A Meth. Everything’s Going To Pot. I’m Such An Ass

When you’re a 13 times convicted felon, I don’t think it’s going too far out on that limb over there to say that decision making maybe isn’t one of your better qualities. This certainly seems to be the case with Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, who looks to be well on his way to conviction 14 and […]

Why Didn’t Someone Tell Me Two-Bagger Wasn’t An Insult?

I’m not sure if this fella has been arrested yet, but it likely won’t be long before his poor planning comes back to bite him if not. Just before 8.30pm the man walked into the store on Lower King Street, Caboolture, with the bag on his head and threatened the female attendant with a knife. […]