This Is So Stupid I Don’t Have A Title For It

An unidentified 22-year-old Town of Waukesha man could soon be facing various weapons charges after committingone of the stupidest crimes in recent memory. The trouble started on New Year’s day when a car carrying the man and 2 passengers went into a ditch. A passing police officer offered assistance and allowed the man to sit …

Weekend At Dipshit’s

Every time I see the title of this story, I start laughing. You’ll see why. If your room-mate croaks, and you really want his social security cheque, but the dude at Pay-O-Matic says he needs to see said room-mate, whatever you do, don’t wheel him down the street in an office chair before you go …

No Brains, All Hart

Wow. This guy would feel pretty stupid in the morning. Jeremy Hart showed up drunk to rob a house, wearing a red Santa hat among other things, ploughed his car into a snow bank, only took prescription drugs and votive candles, and when he went to leave, he discovered he couldn’t get out of said …

Bluetooth Brings Orange Jumpsuit

This guy was not meant to rob the Wendy’s. It just wasn’t going to happen. First, he found out the safe was time-locked so he’d have to wait. Then his screams not to anser the phone activated the bluetooth headset on someone’s cellphone, which made the person on the other end of the phone call …

Whshhhoooh . . . White Lightnin’

I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that makesthis storyso great. It could be a drunken man trying to shoplift a box of “giant red hot pickled sausages” from a grocery store at 3 AM while at the same time deciding to pay for a couple boxes of beer. it could be …

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Sometimes It’s Ok Not To Worry About The Try Try Again Part

Today, like most days anymore, appears to be stupid day. Earlier Iwroteabout a guy who got his shit fucked up by some pansies from Utah, and now, not even an hour later, there’s something that might give that story a run for its money. A Michigan burglar was surprised to find that a house he …

Spineless Robber May Have Less Of A Spine Now

Wow. I’m sure the robber in this story wasn’t expecting to be shot in the neck by a 75-year-old blind man. I’m wondering if the shooter was Carey McWilliams’ grandfather. I guess that blind man was a good shot. The shootee is in serious condition with a bullet lodged close to his spine and they …

Don’t Mess With These People

Tajuan Bullock should consider himself a very lucky man. He doesn’t, but he should. Why? He robbed a house, and when the owners caught him at it, they made him clean up his mess at gunpoint. They didn’t shoot him. they just made him clean it up…and wait for the cops, of course. When the …