Chucking My CD Collection Seems Like A Great Idea Until It Doesn’t

When I put up Gill’s last thing, I also went off on a bit of a side tangent about physical CDs and how I don’t have much use for them anymore. As often happens, one of the next things I saw completely out of the blue was a post on that very subject.

The consensus there seems to be good lord no, you’ll regret it, but that’s not much of a surprise considering the source. It’s Alan Cross’ website, and he and the people who frequent it tend to take their music and their collecting of it quite seriously. But though I’m not so much a serious collector as I am a guy with a decent amount of music kicking around, I think they’re right. As much as the thought of dragging hundreds of these damn things around if/when we move again pains me and although I rarely if ever dig one out and listen to it instead of hitting Spotify or whatever, I can’t bring myself to ditch them like I did my VHS tapes last move. Not a single day has gone by that I truly miss those, but I can’t imagine feeling the same way about all the music.

I don’t get attached to artwork or liner notes since I can’t really look at them, but there’s still a specialness (pretty sure that’s not a word) about the objects that a digital file could never quite replace. Some of those CDs have fun memories attached to them, like visits to big cities with their awesome, gigantic record stores or the joy and sense of accomplishment I felt when I finally got my hands on something I didn’t think I would ever find. Music discovery algorithms can be quite fantastic and I’m certainly not saying that there’s no joy whatsoever in finding something you didn’t know you were looking for that way, but I have yet to feel the same feelings because of Discover Weekly that I do when I flip through the CD collection and think back to rummaging through bins at one of the local secondhand shops and finding that someone had just gotten rid of something that I could now take a chance on for cheap.

So unless I have a fit of fuck it fever one day and get rid of everything before I have time to think, I guess I’m stuck with these things. That’s probably ok, at least for as long as they get to stay where they are.

My Nerd Palace

Gill is imagining what her dream house would look like. I haven’t thought about mine in so long that the last time I did, the main feature was going to be a giant room dedicated to nothing but my music collection. But thinking about it now, I could probably use that room for something else. In the last decade I’ve been given more physical albums than I’ve bought. I think I can count the number of CDs I’ve purchased for myself on one hand and still have fingers left over. I used to be attached to the idea of holding something in my hand, but now, with very few exceptions, I do not give the first damn about that. I’m all about digital and streaming nowadays. Sure there’s a risk that content gets pulled or that the store you bought your albums from goes out of business and you can’t get a redownload if you need one *coughcough* HMV Digital *coughcough*, but generally it hasn’t been a big problem, plus it’s nice not to have to find new places to put everything or lug more and more crap around every time you move. And we haven’t even gotten into the problem of disc rot. For all I know I could be sitting next to a shelf full of garbage right now.

People have, on occasion, asked me what my dream home would look like. Well, stick around and I will tell you about Nerd Palace.

Main Floor

When you come inside, don’t forget to take off your shoes. You can put on some slippers if you need to.

Take a turn to the left to my kitchen. It’s inspired by one of my favorite things, my love for trying new foods. There are Southeast Asian style curtains, the flooring is wood from here in Canada, and the walls are painted to look like an African sunset.

Heading down the hall to the right we see the “chill room.” here we have a stereo system with cool jazz playing. This room is done in turquoise and sea foam.

Now we head further down the hall to the first “rumpus room.” this has an actual repurposed 1980’s arcade with only the classic games like Asteroids and space invaders.

The Basement

Now let’s head on downstairs. Here is where the true nerding out happens! In one section we have a theater room just waiting for people to kick back with anything, Back To The Future, Star Wars, you pick. Right in the thick is a virtual reality set. You can wear the helmets and head as far into history or the future as you like. And of course no nerd palace is complete with out tons of wifi.

Upstairs

Although mostly private, I will show you two rooms. My quiet room is where I go to think, do Bible study, or just be alone. Now my sleeping quarters. My room is painted in my two fave colors, olive and black.

Now You Know

Thank you for stopping into this virtual tour of my dream home. Feel free to tell me about yours.

I Have Loose Lips, Doo Doo Doo Doo…

Ever since Dave left CJOY, we haven’t had the desire to listen to it in the mornings anymore. I’m sure the guy who replaced him is trying his level best, but he’s just not Dave and it shows. So, we started listening to CKWR, and it’s kind of fun because they have so much more freedom. I have heard some really wacky stuff in the mornings, some of which I’ve never heard before, and it gets the day started nicely.

Among the songs I’ve never heard before is this one by Alfie Zappacosta called “Start Again”. We have previously had the poor bus stranger, now we have the poor long-time friend.

Here, have some lyrics.

I don’t believe it, how have you been it’s been a long time
Nice to see you again
What you been up to, you look well to me
Come down to my place
I’ll pull out some cheer and we’ll talk again. it’s nice to talk again
My brother, he was doing o.k. he worked in plastics
Made a good wage
Too much pressure to be faced everyday and so his problems
Got carried away
And he gets to the booze once too often
Don’t know why he wants to get so high.
He stays up, while things go down
In good time he’ll come around
Easy come and easy go
Do, do, do, do, do,
I can’t seem to stop him he just starts again
He just starts again
Did i tell you, bout the love of my life
You know she left me, it cut like a knife
Another story, so you can see
Though we’re apart now, she’s still dear to me
Can there still be respect for one another
And can we still sleep together once in a while
We stay up, while things go down
In good time we’ll come around
Easy come and easy go
Do, do, do, do, do,
It seems when we’re broken
We just start again
We just start again
It’s nice to talk again
As we start again

Wow! Can you imagine getting that onslaught? “Hey! Nice to see ya! You look good. Let’s go have a drink! Oh by the way, speaking of drinks, my brother drinks too much and he’s cracking under the pressure, but everything will work out somehow. Oh, and my wife left me. But I still want to sleep with her. La la la la la. So nice to catch up!”

I wonder if this poor long-lost acquaintance wrote an answer song. Hopefully their life hasn’t been nearly so turbulent.

I Will Go…Nowhere Near This Ever Again!

I was in a cab, and this atrocity assaulted my ears.

Uuuuuuuuuug!

I could end this post right here, because that is a horrible version of a beautiful song, but there is so much more I have to say.

First, just in case you’ve been living under a rock, here’s the original.

I’m not usually a fan of opera-like stuff, but this song has a very special place in my heart that starts with neighbour Cam who passed away nearly 13 years ago. Before he died, he lent me the Andrea Bocelli Romanza album, simply saying he liked it. I listened to it, and though it wasn’t my style, I gave it a chance, and some songs did sort of crawl into my head. You know how I feel about merrily singing foreign songs without knowing what they mean, so I read translations of the lyrics. From what I understand, although Con Te Partirò means “I will go with you” if taken literally, its true meaning is something like “We have to part ways, but I will be with you in spirit.” When they translated the title, they changed it to “Time to say goodbye.”

When my neighbour passed away, this song was played at his funeral, and I learned that he would listen to that whole album while he was getting radiation treatments, and he said it sounded like he was being sung to by angels. I went out and bought the album, and sometimes I listen to it and think of him. Do you see why this version made me want to scream?

I understand that anybody can cover a song any way they like, and some covers are really cool. This, to me wasn’t an example of cool. Not only did it sound cheap, but the words came straight out of opposite land. If you don’t believe me, read the translation of Bocelli’s version.

When I’m alone
I dream on the horizon
and words fail;
yes, I know there is no light
in a room where the sun is absent,
if you are not with me, with me.
At the windows
show everyone my heart
which you set alight;
enclose within me
the light you
encountered on the street.
Time to say goodbye
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them.
I’ll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer.
It’s time to say goodbye…
When you are far away
I dream on the horizon
And words fail,
and, Yes, I know
that you are with me;
you, my moon, are here with me,
my sun, you are here with me,
with me, with me, with me.
Time to say goodbye
To countries I never
Saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them.
I’ll go with you
On ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer,
with you I shall experience them again.
I’ll go with you
On ships across seas
Which, I know,
No, no, exist no longer;
with you I shall experience them again.
I’ll go with you,
I with you.

Now, here are the butchered lyrics that were set to that techno garbage that I heard:

Stranded alone on a sea of emotion
You found me
Your love was a light
In the darkness that shone
So profoundly
Say that you’ll stay
Do not be afraid, afraid
You, you’re my breath
The air I breathe
You are my imagination
Su le finesse
Song of my heart
Secrets I’m not afraid to whisper

Con te partiro
I’ll go where you lead me
Wherever you are
(forever and ever we’ll stay)
In love together
I will go with you
I’ll go where you lead me
Forever true
(forever and ever we’ll stay)
In love together

Stranded alone on a sea of emotion
You found me
It’s you who first found me
Come here, come here
Put your arms around me,
Come here
It’s you who surrounds me
Come here, come here
Come here
Come here
You, you’re my breath
The air I breathe
You are my imagination
Su le finesse
Song of my heart
Secrets I’m not afraid to whisper

I will go with you
I’ll go where you lead me
Forever true
(forever and ever we’ll stay)
In love together
Con te partiro
I’ll go where you lead me
Wherever you are
(forever and ever we’ll stay)
In love together
I will go with you
I’ll go where you lead me
Forever true
(forever and ever we’ll stay)
In love together

Con te partiro
I’ll go where you lead me,
Wherever you are
I will go with you
I’ll go where you lead me
Forever true
In my…
Heart!

Um, barf! One is saying they can’t be with someone anymore and they may never see them again and the other is just being all “smoochy smoochy I’ll follow you like a loyal puppy.” Barf!

And if that wasn’t bad enough, in some places, they channelled their inner Ken Lee, farted in some ducks, and just made up words. I am pretty sure there is no reference to “say that you’ll stay” in the English translation of the Italian, but the Italian lyrics sure kind of sound like that. also, all the “come here”‘s to sub in for con me, which means “with me”, annoyed the living hell out of me.

Am I the only one who cares? Have I become an old woman who is out of touch? Does this bother anyone else? Or should I lighten up?

I’m Sure There Must Be Worse Baseball Songs, But Marlins Will Soar Is Way Up There

Oh my sweet Jesus in heaven, what in the hell is this and how has it escaped me for eight years? And perhaps more importantly, how do I unhear it and get it to go away again?

Woof. That sure is a lot of awful to cram into a minute and 47 seconds. But at the same time, you cannot argue that it is anything but a tune befitting a bad team with even worse ownership. A team such as the Miami Marlins, in whose name it was written back in 2010.

Yes, that is in fact Scott Stapp A.K.A. that Creed guy word vomiting random baseball related syllables over a backing track he likely wrote in 1998. I don’t know if he was paid actual money for it (it seems likely considering the Marlins history of great business decisions), but it does appear that he was compensated in the form of free tickets for life and the ability for his kids to be bat boys whenever they wanted. That’s nice for the kids I guess, but why does this damn team hate the rest of us so much?

Let’s play ball, it’s game day
We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays
Take the field, hear the roar of the crowd
Come on Marlins, make us proud
Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and love, you will soar
One strike, two strikes, swing away
A diving catch, a stolen base
A perfect game, a triple play
Another play-off race—YES!
World Series chance we’ll [unintelligible scream]

I think it’s “World Series champs you’ll be,” but “unintelligible scream” sums the team up much better, so let’s just go with that.

It Wasn’t Me, Featuring Shaggy As President Trump

Even Shaggy is doing Trump parody songs now.

Yes, that is the actual Shaggy in the role of Donald Trump singing his own song with James Corden’s Robert Mueller as the two make jokes about the leader of the free world without having to really exaggerate anything. What times we live in.

Thankfully someone has already written out the lyrics. I wasn’t looking forward to Carin feeling like she should do it and then actually doing it. It’s getting harder for my formidable laziness to sit on and crush my guilt when that happens.

Maybe Tomorrow, They’ll Put Him In The Ground


The Littlest Hobo theme song is a strong contender for best television related musical composition in history, and I will fight anyone who says differently. Even if you don’t remember anything about the show to which it belongs, odds are you remember the tune. And if you don’t burst into song or at least smile a little when you hear it, I think it may be time to get yourself checked out.

Seriously, I love this song. So I got a bit sad today when I heard that John Crossen, who along with Terry Bush was responsible for bringing it to the world, had died.

It is with the saddest of hearts that I pass along the news that my soulmate, the love of my life, my husband, John…

Posted by Deb Crossen on Thursday, March 22, 2018

Without Googling I couldn’t name another John Crossen song, but if you have to be remembered for only one, it doesn’t get much better than this.

Fresh Prints Of Bills Here, Perhaps The Worst Rap Video You Will Ever See

We’ve covered some very bad corporate and organizational attempts at educational music here over the years, but I don’t think anything is going to touch this how a bill becomes a law Fresh Prince of Bel-Air parody that the Utah House of Representatives has made. Sweet Jesus, watch this thing!

It’s so…bad! Like bad enough that I have to wonder if it’s this bad on purpose for some reason, or if maybe they realized part way through that it was going to be bad and thought fuck it, let’s run with it. They can’t honestly think it’s good…right? Right? Although I suppose if they do it sort of explains how we’ve ended up with some of the laws we’ve ended up with, so maybe there is some knowledge to be gained here after all.

I, For One, Cannot Wait To Get The Day Started! Oh, And Where In The World Is Dave Hannah?

I don’t know what’s going on down at CKWR this morning, but it sounds like somebody might not have had the best weekend. In the span of an hour or so, I heard both this

and this.

Don’t you just want to jump right out of bed and take on the world?

And while we’re talking about radio, what in the heck happened with Dave Hannah on CJOY? When he disappeared suddenly a few weeks ago, I didn’t think much of it. I thought maybe he was sick like everybody else around here. Carin and I haven’t been able to speak for more than a few minutes without coughing for like two weeks now, and when you’re doing radio that’s just not going to work. But then last week they aired this announcement, which they’ve also posted online.

1460 CJOY wants to thank Dave Hannah for his service to the community and for his many valuable years of being "that…

Posted by 1460 CJOY on Tuesday, March 6, 2018

1460 CJOY wants to thank Dave Hannah for his service to the community and for his many valuable years of being “that voice” you’ve been used to hearing on radio first thing in the morning. Unfortunately Dave is no longer the CJOY morning man or a member of the Corus/Guelph team. We want to wish Dave the very best in the future.

And then…nothing. No local news coverage, nothing so far in any of the various radio industry news places, not even any rumours. I know broadcasting can be a pretty garbage business about letting people say goodbye, but there’s been a trend, especially with long-serving employees, of giving them a sendoff. CJOY and the papers gave Neill Clemens one just last year. But now it’s this year, and Dave has simply disappeared. Hopefully everyone is ok and nobody’s in any trouble.