Let’s Play Some Basketball! Instead Of Singing? Good Idea!

Nelly Furtado, Fergie…I’m beginning to wonder if maybe the NBA should stop having folks sing national anthems at its All-Star games.

Yes, I defended Nelly Furtado at the time and I stand by that decision even though her shaky start was quite a bit more jarring than I remember, But I’m not defending this.

I don’t think I’d go as far as to say that “a goose being strangled in your living room would produce a much more pleasant series of noises” as Deadspin did, but hot damn is this ever no fucking good.

If you were to ask me to pinpoint exactly when things went off the rails, first I would ask you what rails it started out on, but then, because I am fair, I would say that up until the part where our flag was still there things were merely awful. It’s at that point when everything just goes straight to irredeemable hell. Oof. I mean just listen to that!

I understand the urge to put a new spin on something old. Jimi Hendrix became legendary for doing that very thing.

But here’s the thing. Most people aren’t Jimi Hendrix. And evoking imagery of rockets and bombs with nothing but an instrument is a whole lot different than turning your country’s national anthem into something you’d hear in a jazz lounge that deserves to go out of business. I appreciate the effort, but let’s maybe stop overthinking things so much.

Hmmm Can You Analyze Love Too Much?

Somebody posted this on Facebook, and I had a good chuckle, and decided that it needed to go up here because putting brain structures and hormones in a love song was the funniest geeky idea I’d seen in a while. I’m pretty happy with myself, I only had to look up a couple word spellings so I could put the lyrics down. I love being able to check the Youtube captions to see if I can trust them. No, Youtube, dopamine is not doctor.

Enjoy, and I hope the warm fuzzies still feel as warm and fuzzy, even if they’re made of oxytocin.

When you looked in my direction, I thought my heart might explode (my heart was racing and I thought it might explode)
Because my sympathetic nervous system caused Norepinephrine to stimulate my sinoatrial node.
When you looked in my direction, when you first looked in my eyes (when you looked into my eyes),
My stress response diverted bloodflow from my stomach and intestines, and it felt like butterflies.
I knew I wanted to marry ya, as my ventral tegmental area sent signals to my nucleus accumbens,
and oh, oh, oh my lord, the anticipation of reward, that do do dopamine starts pumpin’

[chorus]
I know oxytocin is the potion of devotion, gimme that dose of dopamine, hold the serotonin.
still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my mind.

When you first smiled at me, I did foolish things (really really really really stupid things),
because my judgment was impaired, by a reduction in activity in my amygdala and the frontal cortex of my brain.
When you first smiled at me, I began to fall (one smile and I began to fall)
and so did my serotonin levels, producing anxiety, I couldn’t eat or sleep at all.
Then a year or two went by, with serotonin on the rise, til I was feeling comfortable and calm.
Now every single time we touch, I get that oxytocin rush, our bond has never been so strong

I know oxytocin is the potion of devotion, dialback that dopamine, here comes serotonin.
Still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my mind

Lady, we’ve been together for a while now and things are starting to mellow out. But that’s ok because we can still get those sparks of dopamine back by experiencing new things together.

[key change]
Oxytocin is the potion of devotion, a little bit of dopamine, a lot of serotonin.
Still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my, never gonna change my, never gonna change my mind.

More Music From The White Trash Washing Machine

So remember the fella who played The Devil Went Down To Georgia along with his crappy ass washing machine? Seems he hasn’t gotten around to replacing it yet, thank god.

Fight For Your Right To LAUNDRY:

Sweet Child/Washing Some Clothes Now featuring Axl Clothes:

Smokey and The Washer:

On The Road Again/Wash A Load Again:

Yes, this is a one note gag. No, it is not getting old. The day that thing finally dies is going to be a sad one around here, let me tell ya.

And There I Was, Switching Tapes Like An Idiot Every Time I wanted To Hear Something Different

I’m sure at some point, whether it held 3 or 5 or 25, almost all of us owned some sort of CD changer. And when I was young I remember my mom having a record player that could hold something like three or 4 at a time. But until today, I don’t remember ever having heard of a cassette changer. Damn, do I ever wish I’d had one. Life would have been so much simpler.

Imagine if someone tried to create an iPod type device for the home in 1972 using mechanical technology…this is what it would look like.

According to the adverts – the Panasonic RS-296US could play 2.5 days of music non-stop…that’s roughly the same play time to the ‘1000 songs in your pocket’ that the first 5GB Apple iPod boasted in 2001.

NOTE
2.5 days of play time equates to 60 hours which would require 20x 180-min cassettes. Whilst these tapes did exist at one point, 180-minute lengths were also very fragile and best avoided.

A more realistic play time is to load this machine up with 20x 90-minute cassettes which gives you 30 hours, and that’s why I refer to the ‘day and a half’ of continuous music at the end of video.

Music Does Soothe The Anxious Canine!

Tansy has taught us that music can be exciting and soothing, although lately, she has been less excited by her old favourites. Is that a thing of the past? But, if she has to be left alone, Easy 101 still keeps her very calm.

Now, a guy has developed music for stressed dogs, and you know what? It kind of sounds like something that might play on an easy-listening station.

I let the sample song in the story play, and I didn’t notice any effect, but Tansy was already seeming pretty chill, so maybe I should try it when I’m doing laundry.

You can read the full story of this awesome project and learn more about why Shmans loves Easy 101.

These New Spaces Are All Designed To Be Flexible

You’ve heard of improv comedy, but how about improv classical composition?

Ben Folds, who is awesome and one of my favourite music people, was tasked with composing a brand new song for himself and the National Symphony Orchestra based on suggestions from the audience. Oh, and he had to do it in 10 minutes. This is what he came up with. It’s a little silly of course, but watching him put it all together and then have everyone actually play it is damn impressive.