The Handicapped Can


The nice fellow on the radio said that coming up he would have a song that would stick in our heads all day. That song, as you can see above, was The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr.

He is correct. That song is going to stick in my and Carin’s heads all day, but not for the reason he thinks. That’s because neither of us will ever be able to hear it again without singing the Bob Rivers version. That link should start playing a beautiful song a few seconds after you click it.

If you need some lyrics, they’re here as well as quoted below since some of the ads on that site, while not appearing to be malicious, are slowing down even my nice computer and I’m not making the rest of you deal with that just to read a song.

Handicap
Hey handicap

“All right my little children, gather round those groovy handicapped are here.
So tell me babe, so what kind of handicap do you have?”
“Well I had a motorcycle but it cost me an arm and a leg.”
“I can see that. Pretty groovy appliance. I bet the ladies dig it, hey babe?”

Who goes in the bathroom
Grabs the biggest stall
A handy metal railing
So they don’t slip in the bowl
The handicapped
The handicapped
The handicapped can
They handicapped can
‘Cause they got a special sticker
Makes them better than you
Makes us better than you
The handicapped park
Anywhere they want
Takin’ up the closest spaces
Zoomin’ in their wheelchair races
Spittle drippin’ down their faces
Yeah yeah yeah
Zippin’ through the crosswalk
On a motorized machine
Winning groovy medals
On their own Olympic team
The handicapped
The handicapped
Oh the handicapped can
The handicapped can
‘Cause they’re pals of Jerry Lewis
And the telethon crew
The handicapped can
‘Cause they are very special people
And they’re just like you
With some assholes too
“We are the handicapped babe, and we are groovy, know what I am saying? People love to take us shopping at Christmastime, ’cause we park so close to the mall.”

The handicapped
The handicapped

Polka To Hell

The Heimatdamisch give us AC/DC’s Highway to Hell as a polka. It takes a minute to really get going, but wait for it.

The Heimatdamisch – Highway to Hell (AC/DC)

…neulich im Kinderparadies…

Nai-post ni The Heimatdamisch noong Miyerkules, Oktubre 26, 2016

It’s Official. You’re Not Going To Heaven

So we were checking out Jonathan Coulton’s new album, Solid State, which might need a post of its own. Anyway, we listened to it on Spotify. A few months ago, Spotify rolled out a new feature called Album Radio. When the album’s done, it makes you a mix of other stuff you might enjoy. I wish there was a way to turn it on and off, because sometimes I just want to listen to an album as a complete unit and then stop and think about it.

But it’s not a totally bad feature, because it introduced me to Bo Burnham. Steve had heard his stuff, and I had heard his name when people called him “the new Tom Lehrer” but I’d never heard any of his music. That is going to change and fast, because I think he’s awesome.

Here’s a song that won’t stop playing in my head, and it sums up so much of what I’ve said about religion before. I almost think it should be the soundtrack to this old post.

Here are the lyrics if you need them.

If you think he’s funny, go listen to all the things. I obviously have missed out for years…always late to the party.

Medical Love Song

Remember when I wrote the post about the doctor making a rap about STD’s and seniors? If she really wanted to scare her patients, she could just play them this.

She could even give them the lyrics and gross them out even more. And hey, that song’s a little older, so maybe some of them might remember it.

I’m kidding, that rap was great…it just made me think of this song. I remember the first time I heard it, I was completely weirded out and really didn’t know what to say except eeeeewwww!

Does It End?

If you’ve ever seen Glen Foster do stand-up (if you haven’t you should), the words rap master probably wouldn’t be the first that came to mind if you tried to describe him. But don’t tell him that, at least not in 1986.

I wanted to share a little “blast from the past” with you.  Something I recently came upon while cleaning out my mother’s house.

In 1986, I recorded a rap parody called, “Does it end?”.   It was inspired by the RUN DMC / Aerosmith “Walk This Way” collaboration, although it is more in the style of Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight”    Anyway, if you want to give a listen, I have put it up on Soundcloud   Enjoy.

PS:  This was actually pressed on vinyl as 45 RPM  and I now have about 500 copies.  Not sure what I am going to do with them.  But stay tuned.

Going way out on a limb here I’m sure, but I bet he tries to sell them.

Due West

You know how sometimes you hear that a band you love has a new album coming out and you get all excited and then you hear a single and you’re like well, I guess it’s ok? This is not one of those times.

That’s “Due West”, a new song from “Two Devils Will Talk”, The new album by The Real McKenzies. I’ve listened to it a bunch of times thanks to Spotify’s New Release Radar, but I only needed to hear it once in order to come to the conclusion that it’s great and I can’t wait to hear more. But as happens with me, I got distracted and totally forgot to figure out when more would come out. Turns out the answer is a shade over two months ago. Oops. Oh well, at least I still got a post out of it and we all know what the next thing we’re Spotifying will be.

Who’s Phone Is That


I could have sworn one of us posted this already, but since I can’t seem to figure out when that would have been, have a listen to this lovely classical piano piece made of cell phone ringtones.