I Remember The Time My Service Dog Chased A Cat, Let The Memory Never Live Again!

When I think of all the concerts, plays and things I have gone to with Trix and Tans over the years, I am very thankful that neither of them has ever taken it into their heads to chase down one of the characters, like happened in this story.

A dog ran amok at Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats” this week.
Spies at the Neil Simon Theatre tell us an audience member’s service dog “got away from its owner and ran after [the character] Bombalurina, performed by actress Mackenzie Warren, during the opening number.”
Luckily, a fast-moving usher “intervened and returned the wayward canine to its mortified owner.”

Mortified would be an apt description. I think I would want the floor to open up and swallow me!

I think the closest we came to causing mayhem was when I took Tansy to her first show. I don’t think she was used to such a huge crowd, and tried to leap on a passer-by. That was embarrassing enough, and thankfully has never happened again.

I could be in for trouble. This Saturday night, we’re going to see Handel’s Messiah because a couple of our friends are singing in it. I hope Tans doesn’t get it in her head that she should go visit them!

A Couple of Weird Songs To Haunt Your Nightmares

Somebody posted this list of the 30 weirdest songs of all time to the Dr. Demento Facebook group. Some of the songs on there seemed kind of lame, but there were definitely a few gems on there that I’d never heard of before, and were way out there.

One of them sounded so freaky that I decided to go see if I could find it, and boy did I find a lot of versions. It was called “The Twa Sisters.” Here’s just one version of it. It’s not the best quality I’ve ever heard, but it’s not the worst.

What kind of messed up shit is that. It’s not bad enough that one sister drowned the other because they both liked the same guy, but then some other dude just happened upon the drowned sister and made a musical instrument out of her body! Eeewww! And this wasn’t even the worst part of the song. It was like it was totally normal to pull bodies out of the river and make harps and guitars and whatever you wanted out of them, and show them off to a whole bunch of people. The song had to get extra creepy when the freaky musical instrument started to sing the story of her death. *shiver*. Yup, that’s definitely a weird song, and apparently everybody loved covering it and putting their own spin on it, but I’ve never heard of it before.

In describing the song to Steve, another song drifted into my head and won’t leave, and if the “Twa Sisters” song belongs on there, then this gem needs a place too.

What crazy evil is that? Dude meets girl, dude just straight up asks “how can I get to your bed?” Girl says “you can’t come in the door, but you should sneak into my bedroom via this creel thing at the chimney.” dude says “Ok.” Mom says “Hey dad, there’s a dude in our daughter’s room!” dad goes to look. Girl hides dude under the covers and says “hey dad, can’t you see I’m praying here?” Dad goes back to mom and says “You’re crazy, there’s no dude down there.” Mom isn’t convinced so gets up to see, but somehow kicks the toilet and falls into the thing that helped dude get in. She asks for help, but her husband says “Nope, can’t be bothered, you and your daughter are too much trouble.” She falls down to her daughter’s room, where the dude kills her. And the moral? Mind your own business, old lady! Really?

I’ll admit that making a list of the 30 weirdest songs of *all time* feels like a pretty difficult task, and I wouldn’t want to have it, but I’m sure there are way weirder songs than “MmmBop” or “Summer Girls”. Broaden your musical horizons a little!

Goldfinger Still Exists. Cool

Since they’ve all been doing other things for years now, I wasn’t sure we’d ever get new music from Goldfinger again. But over the summer it seems we did…kind of.

There’s a new album out now called The Knife. It’s Goldfinger in name, but with a slew of guests playing the roles of everyone not named John Feldmann.

On bass, Feldmann has recruited MxPx frontman Mike Herrera, while guitar duties are handled by Phil Sneed of Story of the Year. And on the group’s new LP The Knife, the drumming was handled by Blink-182 whiz Travis Barker.

As if that weren’t enough, The Knife also features a great deal of guests. Blink-182’s Mark Hoppus lends some vocals to the project, as does 311 frontman Nick Hexum. There’s also guest guitar from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ Nate Albert, drum work from Twenty One Pilots’ Josh Dun and an appearance from ONE OK ROCK’s Takahiro Moriuchi.

Thankfully even with all those moving parts it still manages to sound like Goldfinger, as you can hear on “Put The Knife Away”. In fact if I hadn’t read about all the new people, I’d have just assumed that they’d reformed as they were.

The Modern Monster Mash

Carin found this but didn’t have a chance to put it up, so I’ll do it. It’s pretty good, but I think they need to update it again to include the new scarriest monsters of our time.

Happy Halloween. Hope you’re doing something fun and/or scary to celebrate if that’s your thing. As for me, the most frightening thing I’ll be getting up to is handing in rent cheques and hoping that the clowns dressed up as management don’t lose them again.

This Band Is Pretty Good! I Wonder If They’re Turing!

I can’t remember if I’ve posted this before, and if I have, which is super possible since there’s so much stuff on here, oops.

A long time ago when computers were huge and vacuum-tube-powered, Alan Turing, you know, *the* Alan Turing, figured out how to make them sing. The recording of it was put away, and the poor thing was left to languish and distort. But some geniuses brought it back to its original glory, and here it is, recordings of a really old computer playing “God Save the King,” “Ba Ba Black Sheep”, and “In the Mood.”

I bet he was pissed when it would randomly stop, but it seemed the people around him were good about it.

Was there anything that guy couldn’t figure out?

I’ve Got A Trombone To Pick With You…

This story, although kind of sad, makes me laugh. It’s definitely odd.

It seems this fellow who just moved to a new apartment discovered that someone in his midst has a hate on for trombones.

Sam and a lady friend had been living in Dixon. But this summer she got a job offer in Peoria, so they found an apartment near Pioneer Parkway. In mid-July, they began moving in stages: they brought a small number of items (including the trombone) about a month ago, while a maintenance crew cleaned and painted their place. Then they returned with more items at the end of the month.
On that second trip, Sam glimpsed the bedroom closet. That’s where he’d placed his trombone, zipped inside its canvas case. But the case had been torn open — “They didn’t even bother to use the zipper,” Sam says — and the trombone left disheveled.

So he didn’t even manage to play it in his new apartment and tick off his neighbours before someone decided to wreck it? There’s a part of me that wonders if the damaging of the trombone was a bit of, ahem, preventative maintenance. You have to wonder, since it later says there was no signs of forced entry, and maintenance crews were in there when he dropped it off.

I used to play the trumpet, although if I picked it up now, it would probably sound like a wounded cow had gotten loose in the apartment building. I have to wonder, if I’d continued to play, if my poor trumpet would have been messed with.

It seems like the trombone does him some good, so I hope he can fix it. But maybe he should figure out how to sound-proof his apartment too.

Does This Qualify As Backing Down?

I don’t know if this is weird or not, but even though Tom Petty is one of my favourite recording artists of all time and is at least partially responsible for the creation of literally dozens of songs that I will love forever, I have no idea what my favourite Tom Petty song is. Since the news broke last night I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I just can’t. Although when I really stop and think about it, not knowing might be the highest compliment I could possibly pay Tom Petty the musician.

I feel like sentences similar to this perhaps get thrown around a little too much, but Tom Petty really does strike me as somebody who wrote a song for everyone. Whether you were looking for a loud song, a quiet song, a fast song, a slow song, a driving song, a song that feels like it’s speaking to you alone, a song everybody can relate to, a love song, an angry song, a song to sing along to or a song about some sort of new beginning, odds are you could find one with his name on it. Odds are also that you could find many of those qualities in a single song, because so many of them are just that well crafted. It’s not easy to write a simple song that millions of people are going to want to listen to for decades, but somehow Tom Petty managed to do it over and over and over again, I dare say more than almost anyone.

Ok, back to me for a second.

I still don’t have the foggiest clue what my favourite Tom Petty song is, but I knew immediately which one I’d choose if I could only share one here.

When this came out, I was doing some very small time radio. And while I’m extremely proud of that fact because it means that I achieved one of my life’s longest dreams, it was also pretty clear that for a lot of reasons it was never going to be the career my imagination had drawn it up to be. I think that somewhere inside me I’d known that for a while, but then Tom Petty and his damn song walked up and punched me right in the emotions.

No, nothing super dramatic happened after that. I didn’t march in and quit the next day. But when it was time to go, that 3 and a half minutes helped me make some sense out of how I felt about it. To this day listening to it still makes me a little sad, but that’s what good songs and great songwriters do. They make you feel something. They help you sort things out. They help get you through. I hope Tom Petty knew how many people he did that for.