Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned. You’re Grounded, Son

Yes, I know how it’s pronounced. But a fella named Jesus smashed up a church and you honestly think I’m not posting that? Police charged Jesus Jose Arellano with injury to real property. Officers said they found Arellano in the Oakdale Cemetary, which is across the street from Grace Moravian Church, on Tuesday. The Tiffany […]

He Was Not Charged With False Advertising, For Some Reason

I’m a little late to the party, but I still feel that it is my duty to inform you that a Daniel Sober has been arrested for failing to live up to his moniker. Daniel Sober, 44, was busted Saturday evening for drunk driving following a police stop near his home in Lower Burrell, a […]

To Be Fair, What Else Would You Expect Someone With A Name Like That To Do

Guilty of ten charges of dishonestly obtaining financial advantage by deception after ripping off various farmers to the tune of around $86,000 worth of undelivered hay and grain is Stephen John Swindle. The 31-year-old operated a scheme in which he offered to sell hay and grain to farmers to feed their stock but would only […]

That’s Not Why It’s Called Headquarters

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but it’s been a while. We don’t know exactly what brought Jamesley Jaques (pronounced Jacks even though it most likely isn’t but you’ll know why it is in a second) to the police station, but the reason he might be staying there a little longer […]

On The Bright Side, You’ll Be Able To Watch Your Career Go Down The Toilet

New Jersey man found camera taped to urinal at his company’s office, suit says The employee who found the camera claims that after he reported the incident anonymously, the company retaliated against him. A few quick observations here. Gross. If the discovery of the camera happened the way Jason Savage says it did, David Swerdloff […]

More Like All Wet

This one’s appropriate on a couple of levels. Recently arrested and charged with felony video voyeurism of someone at least 19 years old after a hidden camera was discovered recording people showering in his bathroom is Jonathan Moist. According to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, Moist’s niece and her friend who were housesitting for Moist discovered […]