The Plot Unraveled When Investigators Noticed Everyone’s Names

Three men have been arrested in connection with the stabbing death of a bus driver in Ohio. There isn’t much amusing about that, but if there’s one thing that qualifies it’s that two of the arrested are Abraham Shears and Donte T. Slash. And yes, Slash is the one who is accused of doing the …

Welcome To Ballmart

A 65-year-old Iowa man could spend up to a year in jail if convicted of charges resulting from an incident that saw him riding around a Walmart in one of the store’s electric carts whilst polishing the old pricing gun. Gary Michael Sheriff was accused of indecent exposure when he “exposed his genitals to customers …

I Know What The Sign Says, But Please, Put Some Clothes On

Police in Summerland, B.C. are looking for a man who apparently saw the Full Frontal Trail sign and thought hey, there’s an idea. Summerland RCMP are investigating a report of a man hiking nude on the Full Frontal Trail of Mount Conkle. The man, reported to police on Sunday, Sept. 20, was seen hiking by …

And This Guy Thinks I Should Question Trudeau’s Judgment

I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, but if your name is O’Toole and you have a son, why in god’s name would you call him Jack? Do you expect that he’ll never ever find himself in the company of other children or people in their 40s who sometimes still act like children? …

Sorry. I Don’t Understand

Parents name son ‘Google’ to make him popular, lucky in life How popular is the kid really going to be if nobody can talk to him? “Oh hey Google….crap! I did it again!” Local media in south-western Indonesia’s West Java Province recently reported that the boy’s mother, 27-year-old Ella Karin was too embarrassed to reveal …

He Is A Beavis And Butt-Head Episode Unto Himself

The substance of this article doesn’t much concern me. All I care about is why in the name of Geehosofat you would walk around calling yourself Spanky Wanken on purpose. I would wonder this on a normal day, but the old curiosity goes way up when you’re the Spanky Wanken from the Iowa Pork Tent …

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned. You’re Grounded, Son

Yes, I know how it’s pronounced. But a fella named Jesus smashed up a church and you honestly think I’m not posting that? Police charged Jesus Jose Arellano with injury to real property. Officers said they found Arellano in the Oakdale Cemetary, which is across the street from Grace Moravian Church, on Tuesday. The Tiffany …

He Was Not Charged With False Advertising, For Some Reason

I’m a little late to the party, but I still feel that it is my duty to inform you that a Daniel Sober has been arrested for failing to live up to his moniker. Daniel Sober, 44, was busted Saturday evening for drunk driving following a police stop near his home in Lower Burrell, a …

To Be Fair, What Else Would You Expect Someone With A Name Like That To Do

Guilty of ten charges of dishonestly obtaining financial advantage by deception after ripping off various farmers to the tune of around $86,000 worth of undelivered hay and grain is Stephen John Swindle. The 31-year-old operated a scheme in which he offered to sell hay and grain to farmers to feed their stock but would only …

I Think The Names Are Backwards

Is it me, or does Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus (the name of the head of the World Health Organization) sound more like something you would name a serious disease than COVID-19, which is what they’re calling the new Coronavirus? Personally I’d be a lot more concerned if somebody told me I had a bad case of …