That’s Not How You’re Supposed To Roast Pumpkin Seeds

There’s a two for one sale in the appropriate names department today as the Atlanta Journal-Constitution assigned Steve Burns the story of Morgan Cook accidentally setting herself on fire. By the way, 100 bonus points to anyone who can explain what this experiment was supposed to be demonstrating. A Halloween experiment at a Gwinnett County […]

What In The Actual Hell Is Going ON In Guelph These Days?

Brampton man accused of exposing himself in public sauna Two boys under the age of 18 were present at the time Police called about a man masturbating in front of hospital The male is described as approximately 45-55 years old, about 5’6” tall, Man found masturbating in toy section Police attended to the store and […]

It’s One, Two Hit-And-Runs And You’re Out AT The Old Ball Game

We live in a world where not everything is just and not everyone gets justice. But many times there is justice, even if sometimes that justice takes half a century and is kind of cold-hearted and weird. In 1968, Douglas Parkhurst killed 4-year-old Carolee Ashby in a hit-and-run, or at least he’s pretty sure he […]

Might Be Time To Look Into Changing Your Name To Sober Upman

Given that she’s been arrested at least 15 times, I’m surprised that neither of us caught Crystal Methvin before now. Police say they responded to a parking lot on South Dixie Highway and found three people sitting in a car. The people in the car consented to a search and police say they found drug […]

Control That Gun, Shooter!

Why wouldn’t the sexual harassment accusations against a man named Don Shooter involve him comparing his dong to a shooter? It’s just common sense, really. Shooter’s first and most prominent accuser was state Rep. Michelle Ugenti-Rita, a fellow Republican. According to the Arizona Republic, Ugenti-Rita said Shooter sought a romantic relationship with her on several […]

You’ve Got A Future In This Futureless Business, Kid

It’s always sad when media folks get fired by giant companies worth hundreds of millions of dollars for no reason other than if we hire people who aren’t as experienced as you we don’t have to pay them as much, but there’s an aspect of what just happened in Vancouver that’s pretty funny. CTV Vancouver […]