Category: news

Oct 25 2014

No, This Isn’t A Scene From A Movie

Here’s a video describing the final exchange of fire between the ottawa shooter and the Sergeant-at-Arms.

So I guess this is why there were pictures going around on Twitter saying “Don’t mess with the Sergeant-at-Arms.” Yeah I’ll say. Holy crap! He’s some kind of gun ninja!

I feel sorry for the librarian…that must have been just a smidge freaky, here comes a bullet, right into your desk.

Yeah, no question about that, that gunman wasn’t gettin’ up.

Oct 24 2014

Everybody Get Your First-Aid Certifications

I saw this story detailing the efforts of people trying to save the fallen soldier at the war memorial, and it was very powerful, not only for the obvious reasons, that these people ran into danger to try to help. But it also drove home the point that everybody who was trying to help him had first-aid training, so worked as an efficient team, and knew what to do. Sure, he didn’t make it, but at least they gave him the best chances he could have, a lot better than he’d have with a panicking, dithering mass of confused folks. This reminded me that I should really update my first-aid, again, and find a way to have it not just be a dim memory, because you really never know when you might need it.

I still can’t get over the senselessness of it all, and I think about the honour guards back on duty there today. In their heads they probably know it’s not going to happen again…but…shiver.

Oct 24 2014

Jesus Take The Meal

One of the more creative dine and dashes I’ve seen comes out of Lawton, Oklahoma. Well, I guess it’s not as much a dine and dash as it is a dine and sit there hoping for the best, but you know.

Police say Kristi Rhines ordered several alcoholic drinks and food at El Chico in Lawton but later said she had no way to pay for them. She told managers her husband was on his way to pick up the tab. 
When asked about her husband, she told them she was legally married to Jesus Christ, but had no marriage license. She also told management that Jesus would be able to walk in and produce U.S. currency to pay for her bill.

The Lord, either because he was busy answering the prayers of others or doesn’t exist, was a no show.

Rhines, who’s bank balance I’m guessing must have been option 2, was subsequently booked into the Lawton City Jail on a fraud charge.

Oct 22 2014

No, Parliament Should Not Sit Today

Obviously, we’re totally shocked by all of the insanity going on on Parliament Hill today. Hopefully all of our Ottawa friends are safe and doing well.

But whether or not everyone is safe and sound, Parliament should not sit today as Michael Chong is suggesting.

Wellington-Halton Hills MP Michael Chong says he wants Parliament to sit today as scheduled in spite of the shooting on Parliament Hill.
Speaking in a phone interview, from his locked-down Ottawa office, Chong said: “I think it’s important that we do not close Parliament” over the episode.
Chong said failing to sit in Parliament today, as scheduled, at 2 p.m., would send a message to people like the shooter(s) that actions like this can disrupt this democracy.
“I think it’s important to send the message to people like that that you won’t stop a democracy,” said Chong.

I get the sentiment. I think it’s nuts, but I get it. We do need to be strong in the wake of situations like these. Life must, and will, go on. But as well as strong, we must also be safe. As I type this, we know for sure that one suspect is dead, but there seems to be a real possibility that there are more than one. As far as I’m concerned, that’s more than enough reason to shut things down for the day. Believe me, Question Period is not that important to anyone. The last thing we need is another tragedy today. And no, I don’t mean Question Period.

Be safe, everyone.

Oct 19 2014

Don’t Annoy Your Nurses. It Might Kill You.

I’m glad Daniela Poggiali wasn’t on staff at the hospital where I was. I’m sure there were times when I would have annoyed even the most tolerant of nurses.

Here are some creepy lines from the story.

Cops arrested a nurse in northeastern Italy in connection with the deaths of as many as 38 patients, whom she might have killed because she found them — or their relatives — annoying, officials said.

So poor Steve might have been annoying, and bam, out I’d go.

Police have the cellphone of Daniela Poggiali, 42, which included a photo she snapped a few months ago of her giving a thumbs up next to a patient who had died moments before,…

That’s just evil.

Or is this the most evil?

Another one of Poggiali’s colleagues said the accused nurse was once reported for giving powerful laxatives to patients at the end of her shift to make work tougher for nurses working after her.

You just wonder what gets some people into some professions.

Oct 12 2014

Eating At Burger King Is Dangerous Enough Without Managers Trying To Stab You For Complaining

I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps this restaurant employees attacking customers instead of the other way around stuff is more common than I thought.

The lawsuit, filed October 1st, claims the incident happened in June 2013. According to the lawsuit, the customer said he asked for warmer food and the manager, Francisco Berrera, wasn’t pleased.
The customer claimed Berrera then told another employee, in Spanish, “…he doesn’t even know what I’m going to return it and do whatever I want to it and he’ll still eat it…” However, the customer understood every single word. He refused the food and asked Berrera for a refund.
The lawsuit claims that Berrera said no and that’s when things got violent. The customer said Berrera would soon attack him, by lunging at him with a taser in one hand and a switchblade in the other. Berrera was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with deadly weapon.

The customer, only identified in the story as the customer, the plaintiff or a New Mexico man has sued Burger King, as you may have gathered from the bit quoted above.

His suit is about more than simply being attacked over cold onion rings, however. It also alleges that there have been problems at other Burger Kings in the state run by the same group that owns this one, including an incident where a worker put dish sanitizer on somebody’s french fries. I’ve eaten at Burger King, and that actually kind of sounds like a bit of an upgrade.

None of the allegations have been proven, though it’s worth noting that Berrera, who the suit also claims had been violent with other customers and coworkers in the past, plead guilty to the charge in the onion rings case. That puts Burger King in a pretty tight spot should it plan to defend itself rather than settle, I’d think.

Oct 10 2014

I Just Can’t Buddy Up To The Buddy Bench

Call me jaded or cynical if you’d like, but I’m not so sure about this here “buddy bench” idea.

It’s a simple concept. You put a bench on your school’s playground, call it a buddy bench and explain to the kids that if they’re lonely, they can sit on it and that will signal the other kids that they’re supposed to ask if you’d like to play. Yes, schools still have playgrounds, apparently.

All of this seems like a nice idea. Give the loner kids some hope, and teach the others a little bit about sharing, caring and finding friends where they wouldn’t expect them. All good lessons, and certainly ones that ought to be taught somehow, somewhere.

But let’s be honest. As untainted by adult biases, stereotypes and other such horseshit as children can be, they’re also little assholes. I was one when I was young, and so were you. You might not have meant to be and you may not have realized it at the time, but at some point, you were a little asshole to somebody. You said something or did something to a classmate that was mean, hurtful…whatever negative adjective suits your fancy. You did it and you know it. Some of us did it more than others and some of us pretty quickly realized we weren’t proud of it, but there were, unfortunately, those kids who did it with bad intent. They did it because they liked it. They knew what they were doing and knew who they should do it to. And their targets, I hate to say it, were the very people that were going to be the ones most likely to find themselves in need of a buddy bench had such a thing existed back then.

Without meaning to, proponents of the buddy bench are making targets out of anyone who sits on it. Whether somebody makes fun of the “bench dorks” once or sets out on a full on asshole onslaught, it’s going to happen and it’s going to suck for those kids. All the best intentions and educational messages in the world aren’t going to stop that buddy bench from becoming a bully bench. Human nature says so, and I say that in spite of my belief that most human beings are, at heart, good.

And there’s another problem here. Let’s assume that I’m completely wrong and not a single person who dares sit on the bench is pestered or bullied and everyone finds a playmate for recess. Great, right? Well…no, actually. Once the 20 minutes of recess are over, what happens then? Not everyone is going to get along, because no matter the age some people just aren’t going to like each other. And I can tell you from firsthand blind kid experience that there aren’t many ways shittier of forging long lasting friendships than having a teacher or parent force somebody to play with you. If you ever want to have an awful day, spend it with somebody who totally doesn’t want to be around you and can’t wait to go home. I’ve been on both sides of that and it sucks either way. I’ve never been sentenced to community service, but I imagine that’s sort of what it feels like. You fulfill your obligations because the authorities are watching and then get the fuck out of there at the first opportunity, hopefully never to return or even speak of it again.

I have little doubt that these benches are somewhat successful, but you can’t tell me that in no way will they ever make existing problems worse. And even if somewhat successful is the goal which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it kind of defeats the purpose if that success comes at a heavy price for someone else.

Oct 06 2014

Soy And Wesson

In these types of stories, usually the crazy one is the customer. But not always.

According to cops, the 19-year-old patron asked for more soy sauce after receiving his takeout order Sunday night at Dayton’s Dragon
City eatery. That request somehow triggered an argument between the teen and Allan Lin, a 40-year-old cashier.
As detailed in a Dayton Police Department report, the patron, Munjed Milhem, said that Lin removed a handgun from a holster on his belt and jammed the weapon into his chest. Lin, Milhem said, was “yelling frantically” and waving his gun around.
When cops arrived at the business, they seized a Smith & Wesson handgun and three full 12-round magazines from Lin (who had the gun and ammo attached to his belt).

Lin told police that Milhem had been rude to him during their exchange, had yelled at him and even threatened to have him jumped. Somehow I doubt that “defuse situations with dissatisfied patrons by waving the ‘ol gun around” appears anywhere in the customer service manual, but that’s his story.

He was arrested and charged with misdemeanor aggravated menacing.

Oct 05 2014

It’s Not The Size Of The Boat, It’s The Motion Of The Metallic Objects You DIY Into The Boat That Matters

Why would you…who would ever…what would possess someone…Jesus no!!!!!!!!!

A Malaysian man who implanted 10 metal ball bearings in his penis to bolster his sexual abilities had to have the balls surgically removed when they started to rust.
The man, identified as Ramli, 44, told the Harian Metro newspaper he implanted the balls himself after a friend told him he had successfully used the method to increase his sexual stamina.

Amazingly, he said this actually worked for a while…after the 3 days of swelling and pain ended. Only 3? All was well for a few months he says, until he realized he could no longer get an erection. At that point it was time for him to seek medical help and for me to start doing anything but think about this for another second.

Oct 05 2014

Flaming Imbecile

I was a teenager once and I still love a good prank, but that doesn’t always mean I understand some of you idiots. For instance, when the driver is driving the car you are in, leave him alone. Talk to him, make him laugh, but under no circumstances should you touch him. Alright, if he’s having a heart attack and you need to get his hands off the wheel to avoid an accident and save everyone, then by all means touch him all day long and twice on Sunday. But lighting the dude’s armpit hair on fire for hahas? Save that shit for the kegger if you still want your ass kicked once he puts himself out. Jokes involving fire and human beings are never funny. End of discussion.

When police first responded to the mangled wreck early Sunday outside Boise, the driver, 18-year-old Tristian Myers, told cops he lost control of his Ford Bronco when he swerved to avoid an animal in the road.
But once Ada County Sheriff’s Office deputies spoke with all five teens a different story emerged. A 16-year-old boy admitted to lighting Myers’ armpit hair on fire, deputies confirmed. None of the five teens in the SUV were wearing seat belts and police said two people – girls, ages 16 and 17 – were thrown from the vehicle in the resulting 5:30 a.m. crash.

Myers was cited for inattentive driving, which unless there are some rather important details missing in every telling of this story that I’ve seen, is a pretty big dick move by the cops. The guy just got lit on fire. You suggest he pay attention to the road how, exactly? If you need to pop him for something, how about obstruction since he lied to protect his dumbfuck friend?

Speaking of his dumbfuck friend, he was given a citation for interfering with the driver’s safe operation of a vehicle, which makes absolute sense. Had I been driving, however, he’d have likely gotten the death penalty.

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