Sir, We Donut Want You Eating In Here

It seems to me that if I were an identity thief and a shoplifter who was already on probation, I would want to keep a low profile. What I would not want is to be caught doing something silly like, say, being an asshole to store clerks during a pandemic. Guelph police were first called …

Sorry To Have Disturbed You Folks. We’ll Be On Our Way Now If That’s Alright. But If You See Jimmy…

A few years ago, we had a very sketchy next door neighbour for a while. He had a lot of very sketchy friends, a good number of whom had trouble finding his apartment. Several times I answered our door and was greeted by a very confused individual who I then had to redirect down the …

But My Customers Can’t Live Without Me!

This is a fine example of police throwing any charge they can think of against the wall and seeing if it sticks. It’s also pretty hilarious. Police in Hamilton, Ontario, saw a man driving aggressively and with improper plates. For reasons I don’t quite understand, they didn’t pull him over right away, but instead kept …

I’m Either Getting A Blood Clot Or I’m About To Faint Because The Ontario Government Did Something Right

Looks like a bunch of us idiots who did a smart thing and got the crappy vaccine that isn’t all that crappy, actually are going to be able to get the other half of our treatment without having to try out something that sounds kind of reckless even if it might ultimately work. This is …

Alright Boys, Throw The Book AT Him

As a thief, your job is to take things with you, not leave them behind. This becomes especially important when the thing left behind is a notebook with a bunch of incriminating evidence and identifying information in it. Robert Shull Goddard, 49, allegedly broke into a house in the Hillwood neighborhood on Jan. 29 by …