It occurs to me as I sit here with the song playing in the background that the Barenaked Ladies are lucky that they wrote “If I Had $1000000” when they did. Had they written it today, they’d have gotten to the line about buying a house and that would be it. I wish I was […]
Category Archives: news
Drinkin’ And Huggin’ And Kissin’ And Spittin’
Notwithstanding the way he’s approaching the back to school plan, I stand by what I said a few months ago. The Doug Ford that we’ve gotten during the pandemic is a much better Doug Ford than the regular Doug Ford. He’s also a pretty amusing Doug Ford, and not for the usual reasons (mockery, ridicule, […]
Two Important Questions About Online Oktoberfest
Are we calling the kickoff event the Tapping of the Keys or the Typing of the Keg? When one of the event streams malfunctions, should we all sing “I’m Frozen”? I wish I could take full credit for that last joke, but most of it has to go to the well lubricated fellow in my […]
Urine My Hallway. Why?
I can’t help but wonder if, after the successful completion of this mission, it was this person who then made his way to Guelph and shat in that dishwasher the other week. Someone broke in to Norfolk County home and dumped urine in foyer: police They say at least one suspect broke into the home […]
Use Your Imagination Is Very Good Advice
If the police pull you over, end up searching your vehicle and finding a bunch of drugs, maybe trying to pin the stuff on some guy to whom you had recently given a ride and the vehicle’s real owner might seem like it’s worth a shot. But if you’re going to do that, be very […]
And This Guy Thinks I Should Question Trudeau’s Judgment
I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, but if your name is O’Toole and you have a son, why in god’s name would you call him Jack? Do you expect that he’ll never ever find himself in the company of other children or people in their 40s who sometimes still act like children? […]
Asscade
Just gonna leave this here. Some time between 1am and 8:15am on September 13th, 2020, a residence located near the intersection of Starwood Drive and Eastview Road in the City of Guelph was entered through an unlocked back sliding glass door, while the residents were asleep. Nothing was taken, however the culprit defecated on the […]
Can We Just Build A Wall Around America And Be Done With It?
I know people don’t much like the word in this context anymore, but this is retarded. Completely and utterly fucking retarded. So retarded that actual retarded people would look at the person who would make a decision like it and say “what are you, retarded?” A federal judge has struck down Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf’s […]
Stay Off The Phone
A couple items worth noting from the Record’s latest OPP Roundup. On Sept. 4 at 2:30 p.m., police saw a motorist using a cellphone while driving on Highway 401 in Thames Centre, near London. When they pulled over the car, police found $800,000 worth of dried, packaged cannabis and $130,000 in cash. A Toronto man, […]
Your Goose Is Cooked Because My Lunch Isn’t
Another one I missed at the time, but police in France are looking for the person who shot a waiter to death last summer because his food was taking too long. I say are looking for because I’ve been unable to find any updates that say the search is over. Police say a murder investigation […]
