Frozen? Naah. It’s Getting Pretty Hot In Here, Actually

Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated. Then he put it back on the display. Authorities […]

If You Live In Kitchener And Cockroaches Seem To Like You, You’re Not Alone And It’s Probably Not Your Fault

I was about ready to flip my lid on Friday when we found out that they were going to be treating our entire apartment building for roaches for the second time this year. When you’ve gone your whole life without ever having to deal with any sort of bug problem, that’s the kind of thing […]

What Kind Of Clown Comes Up With A Story Like That?

There is exactly one believable thing about the story Philip Moreton told when caught trying to smuggle a cell phone into a maximum security prison via drone. I bet he really did drink that litre of vodka. The 33-year-old was heard rustling in the undergrowth after prison officers chased the 70mph drone away from the […]

The Gun, Unlike His Brain, Did Not Contain Blanks

Judge says he ‘never heard of something that breathtakingly stupid in my life’ in father’s shooting of son If this is the stupidest thing his honor has ever heard he must be either sheltered or new, but this is pretty dumb, I’m not gonna lie. As his son approached him, Voight yelled, “Rafael, tell me […]

Dumb People Are Trying To Ruin Deadspin

I know it’s dumb people, because if your grand idea is to buy something that’s both unique and popular and then set about draining it of much of what makes it unique and popular, you are a dumb person. Deadspin works precisely because it doesn’t stick to sports. Don’t get me wrong, it can be […]