Slow And Steady Wins The Race, Or At Least Might Prevent You From Having To Run The Race Again

Admittedly I don’t know shit about shit when it comes to the safe and proper administration of vaccines, so maybe there’s a solid reason for all of this carrying on about how reserving doses so that people are able to get their second COVID shot is all of a sudden bad. But what I do […]

I’d Like To Make A Deposit Here And Here And Here And Here And Here…

Feces smeared in lobby of financial institution I sure hope the cops got the security footage they were after, because if not, we’re all suspects. Let he among us who has had not one encounter with a bank that made him want to do something like track shit all over the building speak up and […]

Six Feet? No Problem! Are You Sure That’s All You Need? I’ll Gladly Give You More

It’s good to see folks are taking public health measures seriously. London police apprehended a sword-wielding man after he was reportedly swinging the blade at the public, asking them to stay six feet away from him Police were called to the area of Oxford Street and Wharncliffe Road North at around 1:30 p.m. Tuesday following […]

The Plot Unraveled When Investigators Noticed Everyone’s Names

Three men have been arrested in connection with the stabbing death of a bus driver in Ohio. There isn’t much amusing about that, but if there’s one thing that qualifies it’s that two of the arrested are Abraham Shears and Donte T. Slash. And yes, Slash is the one who is accused of doing the […]

You Say Tomato, I Say “Motherfucker, I’ll Stab You In Your Fucking Face”

I think we might have bigger problems than simple tomatos here. Gates’s grandmother told police that the teenager “began to throw a fit because she couldn’t have more tomatoes at the dinner table.” Gates allegedly threw a water bottle at her grandfather and a pack of cigarettes at a 73-year-old female relative (who was struck […]