Stick Around For Our Master Chef Panel, Featuring People Who Can’t Not Ruin Kraft Dinner

There are times when a thing happens, there is a backlash to that thing and I’m left struggling to figure out how and why anyone could possibly get so worked up about the thing. There are also times when no struggling is necessary. Times like when a security conference puts on a panel discussion about […]

Today In Just Plead Guilty, Dude

David Antonison was recently found guilty of attempted murder and a few other charges for unloading some bullets from a .44 into the home of neighbours Bruce and Joyce Coghill during a dispute over the location of some dog crap. Why we needed a trial though I’m not really sure, because this, apparently, was the […]

On The Bright Side, You’ll Be Able To Watch Your Career Go Down The Toilet

New Jersey man found camera taped to urinal at his company’s office, suit says The employee who found the camera claims that after he reported the incident anonymously, the company retaliated against him. A few quick observations here. Gross. If the discovery of the camera happened the way Jason Savage says it did, David Swerdloff […]

I Don’t Know What A Minister Of Middle Class Prosperity Is, But I Think I Know What It Isn’t

When Justin Trudeau unveiled his new cabinet, my first reaction was to read about some of the major appointments, say “ok, no real problems here” and move on with life. But in doing so, I nearly missed the fact that Canada now has something called a minister of middle class prosperity. What in the hell […]

Frozen? Naah. It’s Getting Pretty Hot In Here, Actually

Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated. Then he put it back on the display. Authorities […]

If You Live In Kitchener And Cockroaches Seem To Like You, You’re Not Alone And It’s Probably Not Your Fault

I was about ready to flip my lid on Friday when we found out that they were going to be treating our entire apartment building for roaches for the second time this year. When you’ve gone your whole life without ever having to deal with any sort of bug problem, that’s the kind of thing […]