Big Brother is Failing Miserably.

Remember when Britain instituted CCTV’s to watch and listen to pedestrians, and then made it possible for police to yell at them? Remember what their reasoning was? It was so the streets would be safer. Well, mission far from accomplished. On the street with over 100 cameras watching it, the crime rate is far from …

Please Read the Emergency Instructions in The Seat Pocket In Front Of You. No Really, You’re Going to Need Them.

This Brazilian plane crash belongs in an episode of Mayday. Let’s count the horrible happenings. The runway is dangerously short and nicknamed the aircraft carrier. It’s slippery when wet. It was newly-paved, but they didn’t bother to cut grooves in it to drain water. They never closed it, despite the lack of grooves being a, …

WWWWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?

Ok, why in the blue bloody christ is Peter Whitmore getting offered a plea deal? Why why why why why? Somebody tell me why! Please? Now! Ok, now that I’ve got the incoherent brain-rattling rage down on paper, let me try and write like a rational human being. He kidnapped a kid from Manitoba, sexually …

>Are You There God? It’s Me, The Law

>Back in October 2005, I posted a story about a Romanian prison inmate whofiled suit against God,claiming that the lord took bribes, didn’t help him in his time of need, and was in many other ways pretty much a no good scumbag. Well, after almost 2 years, there’s finally an update. Prosecutors in Timisoara, where …

You Left Your Dog Where?

I cannot even remotely understand this story. Here’s a short summary. Guy, his wife and his guide dog go camping in a Wal-Mart parking lot (what the hell?).Guy ties his guide dog to a tree.guy and wife leave the next morning, each thinking the other had put the dog back in the camper (again, what …

Speaking Of Running Gags

Here’s one from the You Named That Kid What? Files. Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby “4real” shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival. “For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to …

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Make Shitty Movie

When people ask me why I never go to the movies and why I don’t care when stuff comes out on DVD, I always have a million ways to answer their questions. And as of this very moment, I now haveone more.Yes, “Monopoly: The Movie” could soon be coming to a theatre near you. FILM …