No Criminal Record? That’s a crime!

Curse my computer for eating my first attempt at this post. Here we go again. I know you’re going to probably think I obsess about this, but I like to follow a story to its end, and well, here’s the end of this one. Remember our enemy of development, friend of the earth and lover …

Maybe He Should Eat Some Fruitcake Instead of Being one.

Man, some people are just loopy. I heard about this guy who went on a hunger strike to protest the fact that raw milk cannot be sold. He gave up the fight after not eating for a month, only drinking raw milk and other fluids, losing 50 pounds, and being urged by supporters that he …

What? I Need an Escape Route?

Before I write a big post about the holidays, I just had to write this down because, well, it belongs here. Attention all dumbasses! When you decide it’s time to carjack someone, you might want to know where you’re going if you manage to steal their car. Otherwise, you might end up having to admit …

I’m Still Scratching My Head!

And shaking it. Am I awake? I am. I was watching the news, and the music start sup, and the lady comes on and says, “Tonight, we’ll tell you why scratch tickets aren’t the greatest stocking stuffer idea…” I’m like what the hell? What could possibly be wrong with a goddamn scratch ticket? Don’t take …

Smart Dog? Dumb Master? Dumb Dog and Master?

A Doberman Pinscher named Victoria figured out that she could turn on a stove, and after one showing of this new trick causing a minor fire, her master didn’t fix it so Victoria couldn’t get to repeat it. Victoria repeated it while her master was gone. Now her apartment is gutted. Here’s a tip for …