We’re From The Government And We’re Here To Help

Five people have been killed and 10 wounded in Gaza when a parachute on a humanitarian airdrop package failed to deploy properly and the parcel fell on them, a witness has said. The casualties were taken to Gaza City’s Al-Shifa hospital, the emergency room’s head nurse, Mohammed al-Sheikh, said. The airdrop took place north of …

I Think I’ll Listen To Some Sting And Go To Sleep For A While

Here’s one for Carin. As we’ve mentioned, she loves these. Make her day, they do. A 20-year-old man nearly lost his life getting stung thousands of times by bees after accidentally cutting into a nest while tree trimming. Austin Bellamy remains on a ventilator in a medically induced coma at the University of Cincinnati Medical …

Pack Your Bags…With Ice And Bandages

I don’t go on a lot of international vacations (I haven’t left Canada since 1994), but the next time I do I’m definitely springing for the health insurance if it’s offered. I would hate to be caught unprepared for, say, an extremely venomous snout cobra making a snack out of my goolies while I’m minding …

OwAFewOtherPeople’sBalls.com

There is an update to the story of Gary Van Ryswyk, the elderly gentleman who messed up an in-home castration surgery on a fellow he met on a eunuch website, nearly causing the poor guy to bleed to death. He pleaded no contest to the charges he faced and will be spending a couple of …

Gotta Go. Bone’s Dead

Never lie to your doctor. If you’ve somehow managed to lose a phone cable up your dong, just say so. Any embarrassment you may suffer will almost certainly pale in comparison to the week of unnecessary pain you’ll go through while they try to figure out why they can’t find the headphones you said you …

Gob Blabbit, I Thed Gleeb Id Dowd Ub Dere! Ad Gall Be Ad Abulamfe!

As someone who has been renting apartments for a shade over two decades now (sweet Jesus I’m old), I feel confident when I say that there are many, and I do mean many, ways of dealing with a noisy neighbour that are superior to shooting yourself in the face. A Phoenix man is in extremely …

You Get What You Pay For

Not sure what this fella is so bent out of shape about. He paid $150 for a “full contact experience” with a black leopard, and he would be the first one in line to tell you that he got one. The attack happened at a backyard animal sanctuary in Davie, Fla., on Aug. 31, according …

Stay Off The Phone

A couple items worth noting from the Record’s latest OPP Roundup. On Sept. 4 at 2:30 p.m., police saw a motorist using a cellphone while driving on Highway 401 in Thames Centre, near London. When they pulled over the car, police found $800,000 worth of dried, packaged cannabis and $130,000 in cash. A Toronto man, …

Got Your Nose! But You Can’t Touch It!

And now, the story of Dr. Daniel Reardon, a presumably smart person (he’s an astrophysicist) who nevertheless managed to get a bunch of magnets stuck up his nose while trying to help humanity remember not to touch its face. “I have some electronic equipment but really no experience or expertise in building circuits or things,” …