Guh. Kids These Days. Or Maybe Not

Woman faces impaired charges after collision with three-year-old in minivan: police My first question upon seeing this headline is probably the same one you have. What in the world was a three-year-old doing driving a minivan? The answer, of course, is it wasn’t. This is just another in the never ending parade of poorly written …

The Only Way To Stop A Good Guy With A Key Is A Good Guy With A Gun

It’s bad enough that this woman shot her own daughter because she came home unexpectedly, but just look at this horseshit. Chief Norman said he tried to think of what advice to give in such a difficult case, “If you realize someone has a gun for protection, and they’re not expecting you — announce yourself when …

He Totally Blew His Stackhouse

I missed this story last year. While it’s an absolutely awful one, it checks too many of our boxes here for me not to mention it. It seems that Travis Stackhouse was given some cheesecake for Father’s Day. He had one piece, and then some of the damn kids got into it. This upset him, …

Dr Pepper Has Made A Menace Out Of Me

A food feud and a parent of the year at the same time. You don’t see that every day. Dude has horrible taste in beverages, too. A West Monroe man has been arrested after he allegedly put a gun to his son’s head after his son drank the last Dr Pepper in their home. According …

The Gun, Unlike His Brain, Did Not Contain Blanks

Judge says he ‘never heard of something that breathtakingly stupid in my life’ in father’s shooting of son If this is the stupidest thing his honor has ever heard he must be either sheltered or new, but this is pretty dumb, I’m not gonna lie. As his son approached him, Voight yelled, “Rafael, tell me …

How Else Are They Supposed To Teach Him The Value Of Hard Work?

Phoenix mom accused of punching 7-year-old for failing job as lookout while grandma shoplifted at Walmart Phoenix police officers arrested a mother on suspicion of punching her 7-year-old son in the mouth because he didn’t do a good enough job as a lookout while his grandmother shoplifted at a Walmart store, according to Maricopa County court documents. …

How Do You Say Is Ear Of Owner On Special Tonight In Chinese

Customers and employees argue over restaurant food all the time, but rarely does one incident lead to three 911 calls. Deputies say 24-year-old Jade Anderson walked ito the restaurant complaining about her order. She was complaining to the owners, who are also the victims in the assault. Due to a language barrier, the victim’s son …

Well Hey, At Least He Stopped Crying

And this is why we have a parents of the year tag. Six-year-old Florida boy Ryker Roque has died of rabies after being scratched by a bat infected with the disease. Who the heck dies of rabies in the United States in 2018, you might be wondering. Well, that would be six-year-olds whose parents don’t …

A Jarring Experience

When Alfonzo Stanley’s daughter made the mistake of eating some of his food, the 50-year-old reacted in the calm, understanding manner in which one would expect a father to react. He brained her with a jar of Doritos Nacho Cheese Dip. Wait, Doritos makes cheese dip? I didn’t know that. According to his arrest report, …