Chinese Take You Out

What was supposed to be the dropping off of a former couple’s 8-year-old son turned into an argument over school attendance before ultimately becoming a food feud in Florida yesterday. Responding to a disturbance at the China No. 1 restaurant in Vero Beach, a sheriff’s deputy discovered Brian Kusmer, 31, wearing his lunch. Kusmer said …

She Brings Out The Worst In Him

Not much to add here. Just a possibly crazy man terrorizing and attacking his family with his hands and some frozen sausage. Derek Kiesler, 24, was arrested earlier this month following a violent confrontation in the Bardstown home he shares with the victim and the couple’s nine-month-old child. Police allege that Kiesler struck his girlfriend …

All My Rowdy Kids Are Here For Monday Night, But They’re Staying In The Car So They Won’t Bother Us

Perhaps I’m the idiot here, but it strikes me that bringing your three small children into your friend’s house while you watch football there would, believe it or not, cause you far less trouble than leaving them in the car…in Pennsylvania…in January. But I guess there’s no explaining that to the kind of guy who …

Run For The Right Toppings While You Run From Mom

For the second time in a week, we have a Taco Bell burrito related incident. Unlike last time, the burrito wasn’t the weapon, though it can be argued that anything from Taco Bell should be considered a dangerous instrument. In this case, the burrito and its incorrect toppings were the spark that started a fight …

Listen. It’s Early. I Can’t Think Of Anything Better Than Urine Trouble Now

Am I weird, or do the rest of you see a story like this where some nutty person dumps her kid on some strangers while drunkenly proclaiming that she doesn’t want it anymore and think to yourselves way to go little buddy, you get a do over!? Jennifer Cael, 34, left her child with strangers …

Mommy! I Hit It! *Gurgle Gurgle Flop*

In general I’m not the type of person who would laugh at a shooting victim and tell her she got what she deserved, but when you’re one of those gun-rights people and you get shot in the back as you drive through town by the possibly unsecured 4-year-old son you’ve been bragging about teaching to …

Next Time I Think I’ll Take My Chances With The Strangers, Mom

There are a few different ways to teach your six-year-old to be careful around strangers. Getting your buddy from work to kidnap him and tell him he’s going to get sold into sex slavery is definitely not one of them. According to the St. Louis Dispatch, Denise Kroutil, the boy’s aunt, enlisted the help of …

I’m Sorry, But If I Don’t Rob You I Won’t Be Able To Pay The Cab Fare It Took To Get Here

It’s sadly common to hear stories about a parent leaving a kid or two out in the car while they nip inside to rob a place. But what’s not so common and for a very good reason I should add is the car in question being a cab. The incident occurred shortly before 3:30 a.m. …

Here Come The Cops, They’ll See Our Boy In The Box

This, more than anything I’ve seen in a while, is a pretty good case for the occasional ass whooping not being a bad thing. And if somebody wants to give one to the kid while we’re at it, I’m fine with that too. Jesus, mom and dad. Toughen up. Alberta RCMP are reminding grown-ups they …