Here Comes Peter Cottontail, Inbox Full Of Angry Mail

Oh for Christ’s sake.

Peter Rabbit filmmakers and the studio behind it are apologizing for insensitively depicting a character’s allergy in the film that has prompted backlash online.
Sony Pictures said Sunday in a joint statement with the filmmakers that “food allergies are a serious issue” and the film “should not have made light” of a character being allergic to blackberries “even in a cartoonish, slapstick way.”
In Peter Rabbit which was released this weekend, the character of Mr. McGregor is allergic to blackberries. The rabbits fling the fruit at him in a scene and he is forced to use an EpiPen.
The charity group Kids with Food Allergies posted a warning about the scene on its Facebook page Friday prompting some on Twitter to start using the hashtag, #boycottpeterrabbit. The group said that allergy jokes are harmful to their community and that making light of the condition “encourages the public not to take the risk of allergic reactions seriously.”

If we must interpret this somehow, why not look at it as a lesson about problem solving and resourcefulness? Or maybe we could shut the hell up and let the kids enjoy their movie. There’s also that.

FoldiMate: The Overpriced, Half-assed Laundry Helper You’ve Been Waiting For

Normally I would start off a post like this by wondering aloud just who is the target market for our friend FoldiMate here, but you know what? Not today. There’s no need. I know exactly who this is aimed at. Idiots. Idiots with way too much money and nothing to do with it. Seriously, what other answer can there be? Who but the most well-to-do of morons is spending nearly $1,000 on a copy machine sized monster that can fold some but not all of their laundry?

That’s right, some.

“Regular shirts?”



“You bet.”


“The button-up ones? Yeah, we got you.”


“Yup, we’ve just figured those out.”

“Pillow cases?”

“Nailed those down in the new version, too.”

“What about socks or underwear or sweaters or hoodies or anything in my baby’s wardrobe?”

“Uh…well…you see…here’s the thing…it’s like this…erm…No.”

And not only can it not handle that many things, but you have to stand there feeding the ones it can into it individually instead of, gasp, folding them your goddamn self.

For what you get for the price, why not just hire a maid? I know they might want a day off here and there and the odd one is going to rifle your jewelry box, but at least they know how to fold a friggin sleeper.

Spirit Airlines: Less Hamsters, Oh No!

I don’t have a lot of words. I am really trying to think of a circumstance where I could see where this woman was coming from, but it’s not working. I’m really really trying.

Belen Aldecosea had to fly home, and she wanted to fly with Spirit Airlines. In the recent past, because of anxiety over a medical diagnosis, she decided she needed an emotional support animal, and chose a hamster. She even got a note from a doctor saying this hampster, Pebbles, was her emotional support hamster. As I said in this other post about emotional support animals on planes, emotional support animals aren’t trained and don’t do anything for the owners except give them a warm, fuzzy feeling by being there. She probably could have gotten the same effect by buying a plush toy.

Apparently she called ahead to check that she could bring Pebbles on as an emotional support animal, and was given the incorrect information that this was possible. When she arrived at the airport and started the process of checking in, she was told that this was not going to happen. Then, according to her, she was told that she could either release Pebbles into the wild or flush her down the toilet. After a lot of “agonizing”, she flushed her.

I don’t even know where to begin here. This feels like that story where the woman put her guide dog in a cabby’s trunk, only way worse. At least that poor guide dog lived. I would hope that, God Forbid if somebody told me that Tans couldn’t get on the plane and actually physically prevented us from boarding, that I would possess greater problem-solving skills than this. I would hope that I would choose not to go on that flight so I could work something out. I would make some calls. I would figure something else out that wouldn’t result in an outcome so final for Shmans. It’s not like anyone had a gun to her head or anything.

Her lawyer is trying to say that this isn’t her fault because she’s only 21 so didn’t know what to do. I remember being 21, and although I was just learning about advocating for myself, I’m pretty sure I would have done something other than this. At the very least, I might have called my folks and got some more ideas. I would have never tried to take psych rat Hope on a plane, but if I did, I can’t even begin to picture a scenario where I would flush her if I was told she couldn’t fly. Maybe I would have called a vet to figure out how to board her somewhere. Maybe I would have asked for help finding some other officials in the airport to get more ideas.

This line kills me every time I read it.

“She (Pebbles) was so loving. It was like she knew I needed somebody,”

And that was how she repaid the poor thing.

She has a new hamster. God help Pebbles 2.0.

I guess I had more words than I thought.

Police Have Locked Him UP And Thrown Away The Key, Which They Remembered To Bring With Them

A question for the bank robbers in the crowd. Setting your car keys on the counter: stupid or really stupid? Seriously, why would you ever do that? If they’re not staying in the getaway vehicle, should they not stay safely in your pocket? Isn’t that, like, the only thing that makes any sense?

A man robbing a Utah bank told the two tellers he had a gun, and he demanded they hand over their money, police said.
Then David Hamson, 39, stuffed the cash into a bag around 5:30 p.m. Thursday and left the Taylorsville, Utah, bank, hoping to get away from the crime scene in a car he’d stolen, police told KSL.
As he got to into his getaway car, though, Hamson realized he’d made a big mistake: He had left the keys to his stolen car on the counter at America First Credit Union, witnesses told police. At that point, Hamson decided to flee on foot, News 4 Utah reports.
But even on foot Hamson kept tripping up, police said. As he ran away, his bag of cash got caught on something and ripped, according to police, sending the stolen money flying, KSL reports.

Police caught up with him not far from the bank, thanks to the help of several witnesses. But even had they not been there, the trail of money leading straight to him probably would have helped.

Hamson was taken into custody, and police say they plan to charge him with aggravated robbery. They also say he’s a suspect in several other, presumably less calamitous hold-ups.

Police Were Immediately Dispatched To His Location, Because It Was Their Location

In October of 2016, Bank of America discovered a theft. Surprisingly, given that there are so many of them, it wasn’t one of their own. But the bank did suspect that somebody who used to be one of their own was behind it, and so the hunt for former employee Alberto Saavedra Lopez began.

For more than a year, that hunt continued, in large part thanks to Lopez acting like a smart person. A smart person who looked awfully guilty, but that’s neither here nor there. He moved to another town. He refused to talk to the police investigating the case, blowing off the appointments they tried to make with him and not answering their phone calls. In short, he did everything a person on the run should do right in order to stay that way.

But eventually, as so often happens, Lopez ran out of smart person tokens.

The shortage began when, for reasons only he understands, he decided it was time to move back to his old stomping (Stealing?) ground. An iffy proposition to be sure, but one that maybe could have worked had the shortage not become a full blown deficit.

In need of a job, Lopez did what anyone would do. He started applying for one. Unfortunately, he put his name into the running for a dispatcher’s job.

“Unfortunately? What do you mean unfortunately? What’s wrong with working as a dispatcher?”

Nothing, assuming you’re not a wanted man who’s just applied to become one at the very police department that’s been looking for you all this time.

“Ok, you win. That is unfortunate.”

Lopez was arrested when he arrived for what he thought was going to be his interview.

And no, he didn’t get the job. The police took the time to state in their release that he was “out of the running for employment” with the department, in case that was a question someone had. It wasn’t, was it?

“Give Me My Stuff Back Or I’m Calling The Cops!” “You’re Way Ahead Of You, Dude.”

There may be a genius at work here, but that person is absolutely, positively 100 percent not Clayton Rowland Cowman Jr. We know this because not only did he call the police after somebody robbed him of cash and dope, but then, just in case there was still any doubt, he repeatedly called a narcotics enforcement officer’s personal cell phone and threatened him, because the real genius here gave him the number and convinced him it was the guy who took his stash. That person’s identity wasn’t revealed, but well played, whoever you are. Well played.

Davis allegedly began receiving calls from Cowman on Dec. 12, county police said.
“The caller began threatening to do harm to Sgt. Davis,” county police said. “Even after being told he must have the wrong number, the caller repeatedly called Sgt. Davis’s cellular telephone, threatening him.”

Cowman allegedly warned Davis to be “strapped,” a street term for carrying a gun, the release said. Two other GBNET officers heard the calls, police said. Davis allegedly told Cowman “several times to stop calling, and that the people he was communicating with were police officers,” the report said.
Finally, Cowman allegedly arranged video conferencing on his phone, during which Davis showed him patrol cars in the parking lot “as well as officers’ badges and guns,” police said. Cowman immediately “hung up on Sgt. Davis and blocked him from being able to call back,” police said.

By the next day, both warrants and Mr. Cowman had been obtained by the police, and the latter was charged with three counts of making terroristic threats and acts, and one count each of use of communications in the commission of a drug-related felony and making harassing phone calls.

El Passed Outo

Wow. That’s when you know someone’s on drugs. Douglas Francisco drove into a drive-through lane at a bank, passed out in said lane, and when awakened, tried to order a burrito. Then, he drove away and passed out again somewhere in the bank parking lot. I’m glad he didn’t actually try to drive anywhere else, but holy wow!

The most mysterious statement was “During police questioning, Francisco “made several statements that were differing from reality,”…” Were the statements simply that he thought he was ordering a burrito? Or how weird did they get?

My best hope, since he was on a bunch of prescriptions, was that he didn’t know what they would do before heading off on his mission for who knows what. Something tells me I might be a bit too optimistic.

That Was…Uh…Your Performance Review. Yeah…Performance Review. Job Well Done!

The good news is that the methods used by police in Pennsylvania to carry out undercover sex stings seem to be working quite well. the bad news is that we know this because the chief of the Leechburg police appears to have tested them himself.

According to WPXI News, the police chief, who became well–known in the area after he lost an arm in a fireworks accident, had been chatting with the undercover officer since last September using the profile name “Kutecop4you.” He described himself as a “dominate male officer” who “seeks fun, discreet, sub playmate.”
The agent allegedly told Diebold several times he was chatting with a minor, but the police chief set up the meeting anyway after also sending what the news station said were “inappropriate images” and continuously “asking for sex.”
In a statement to police, Diebold admitted knowing that sexual contact with a 14–year–old was illegal, and he said his “life is totally over.”

He’s charged with unlawful contact with a minor and criminal attempt to commit involuntary deviate sexual intercourse.

Never Say Bye Without Your Supply

In spite of the stupidity at work, I think I understand the decision making. Though it was one of her own creation, our friend here was caught in a no-win situation. Do you go back for the drugs and risk getting arrested, or do you let them go, losing more than 40 grand in the process? Not to mention that depending on the structure of the drug operation, not going back could mean having your legs broken or worse. Yeah, I think I’m gambling that maybe housekeeping hasn’t shown up yet or taking my chances with the cops, too.

On Jan. 6, 2018, staff at a west end Guelph hotel located a quantity of crystal meth and cocaine that had been left behind by the people that had checked out of the room. A female returned to collect the forgotten items in the room, at which time she was arrested. The estimated value of the drugs is $42,000.
A 33-year-old London female has been charged with two counts of possession for the purpose of trafficking.

I Don’t Know What These Are, But I’m Going To Take All Of Them And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It

“Hey man, listen up. I’ve got a great idea.”

“Ok, I’m all ears.”

“So you know how there’s that tech company down on Dela Cruz Avenue?”

“Yeah. Roam something. What do they do, anyway?”

“I don’t know, but do you want to find out?”

“Sure, what the hell. But how?”

“Well, how about tonight, you and I head down there, break in and see what they’ve got going on?”

“Ok, but can we take some stuff?”

“Of course we can! That’s the whole point! We get in, check things out, jack as much shit as we can and split it.”

“Nice. But if we try to sell it, how do we make sure we know enough about what it is? We don’t need anyone getting suspicious.”

“We’ll figure that out once we get it home. It doesn’t make a difference what it is or what it does until then.”

“I guess…but what if they make tracking devices or something?”

“Oh come on! That’s not what they do.”

“How do you know? You said we were going to go and find ou…”

“Don’t worry about it! They have roam right in their name. Roaming is a cell phone thing.”

“Yeah…you’re right. It’s totally phones. Let’s do it! GPS trackers? What was I thinking? Jesus. I’m such an idiot.”

“Actually fellas, you’re both idiots.”

“These devices kind of look like cell phone chargers, so they probably thought they had some kind of street value,” Roambee Corporation Co-Founder Vidya Subramanian.
Subramanian is talking about the hundred or so GPS tracking devices that were stolen recently from the company’s Dela Cruz Avenue labs.
“The moment we realized they had a box of trackers, we went into recovery mode,” Subramanian said. “We notified the police and equipped them to track the devices, and in about 5 or 6 hours, it was done.”

But even if they hadn’t made things quite so easy, life on the run likely wasn’t going to last long for them thanks to one of the geniuses taking a beer from the fridge an managing to cut himself and bleed everywhere in the process, leaving DNA evidence for police.

The pair, who have not been identified, could be in a lot of trouble. Most of the devices were located in a warehouse full of drugs and other stolen property, so there could be charges pending in those cases as well.

“Wait, you said most of. What happened to the rest of the GPS units?”

Well, the two that weren’t found in the warehouse were found in a car. A car that was being driven around by our two unnamed friends here. All of which makes you wonder how they got away with anything ever, let alone enough to fill a warehouse. Hopefully we’ll get those answers at trial.