Religious Michiganders Allowed To Give Each Other Coronavirus

Should be interesting to see how the good lord handles this one. Will he side with the people he created or with the fast moving, highly lethal virus he created? Will he split it somewhere around the middle to keep up his reputation for working in mysterious ways? To find out, keep an eye on […]

Calling 911 Will Not Get You Toilet Paper Any Faster Than The Rest Of Us Are Getting It

Of course people are calling 911 asking for toilet paper. Why wouldn’t they be? Christ, we’re so dumb sometimes. Please heed the words of the poor folks down at the Newport, Oregon police department, you fools. It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran […]

Stop Buying All The Damn Toilet Paper, You Animals

What is this, diarrhea Black Friday? From fist fights to stealing off carts, toilet paper frenzy hits Guelph Lineups form long before Guelph Costco opened and 1,000 packs of toilet paper were gone in 15 minutes “Good morning and don’t kill us.” And with those words, manager Armando Gumbs opened the doors of the Guelph Costco […]

Great. Now We Have To Hire Another Hit Man To Kill The Con Man Who Was Supposed To Kill That Other Con Man…

A strong urge to kill the no good SOB who conned you and your daughter out of €60,000 is certainly understandable. But that said, it’s not generally a good idea to actually go ahead and contract someone to do it so that you can get the money back by harvesting and selling his organs. I’m […]