Apparently Throwing Money Into Jet Engines Is Kind Of A Thing Now

Somehow, it’s happened again. Another old Chinese lady has thrown things into turmoil by throwing coins into the engines of an airplane she was about to board. And like last time, it appears to have been done for the same reason. Luck.

The 66-year-old woman surnamed Wang threw six coins at the engine of a Tianjin Airlines plane just before its departure from the Inner Mongolian capital of Hohhot to the city of Chifeng on Monday morning, apparently in an effort to pray for a safe trip.
Fortunately, the coins were noticed by a worker. When an announcement was made for the thrower of the coins to step forward, Wang remained seated. However, she was revealed as the culprit by surveillance footage.

At first the bit about her being caught out by surveillance footage struck me as odd, but then I remembered it’s a Chinese plane. Of course there would be cameras.

She was arrested and placed under administrative detention for ten days. That sounds ominous, am I wrong?

The passengers, meanwhile, made it safely to their destination after a two hour delay that unsurprisingly included a plane switch.

This happening once is nuts. It happening twice is insane. But what if I told you that this is now the seventh time that someone has done this in the past two years? Is there even a word for that?

We’ve covered the first and for now the last, so here’s a summary of the others to fill in the gaps.

This was followed several months later by a 76-year-old granny flinging coins into the engine of a Lucky Air flight from the Anhui city of Anqing to Kunming. The woman was detained but appears to have never been prosecuted.
Then, at the Anqing airport in January, a China Eastern Airlines flight was delayed when workers found two coins lying on the ground near the plane’s engine. When questioned, none of the passengers fessed up to having done the flinging.

What, no cameras?

And it seems that the old folks are setting a bad example for the youngsters.

In February, again at the Anqing airport, a 28-year-old male passenger was taken into custody after trying to chuck coins into the engine of a Lucky Air plane while boarding, believing that they would keep the flight safe from hazard.
Last month, yet another Lucky Air flight was delayed when two female passengers were spotted chucking coins off the airbridge before getting on their plane at the airport in Jinan. Both of the women were reported to be in their mid-twenties.
Finally, earlier this month, a 31-year-old man was arrested for throwing coins before boarding a Hainan Airlines flight at the Wuhan airport. He later explained to police that he was acting on advice from his mother-in-law who wanted to ensure the safety of his wife and the couple’s four-month-old daughter.

Sure. the one guy in the world who pays attention to his mother-in-law has to be this one.

And it might be time for a name change for Lucky Air. Or does that have to wait until the luck runs out and somebody actually dies?

Far be it from me to judge anyone’s culture or beliefs, but there’s not a country in the world where tossing anything at a plane is a good idea. If I’m wrong, remind me to stay away from it, especially if getting there involves flying.

Aww Nuts. What A Meth. Everything’s Going To Pot. I’m Such An Ass

When you’re a 13 times convicted felon, I don’t think it’s going too far out on that limb over there to say that decision making maybe isn’t one of your better qualities. This certainly seems to be the case with Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, who looks to be well on his way to conviction 14 and beyond after a couple of bad days in April.

The trouble started, as trouble often does, when Wilson managed to shoot himself in the nuts with a gun he was carrying in his pocket.

As a felon, he wasn’t supposed to have a gun. Thinking at least that far into the future, Wilson reportedly told his girlfriend to drive him first to a friend who would hide the weapon, and then to the hospital where he could get his weapon repaired.

Unfortunately for Wilson, he didn’t hide one other thing he wasn’t supposed to have. Scratch that. He actually did hide it, just not well enough.

While he was being operated on in hospital, a balloon containing marijuana fell out of his anus. This and the gunshot wound that started us down this path prompted staff there to get in touch with the authorities.

Those authorities eventually wound up searching Wilson’s car and finding something else he didn’t hide well enough, that being a bag of meth in the pocket of the blood soaked pants he took off when he got to the hospital.

Police decided not to arrest him right then, instead issuing a warrant. To his credit, Wilson did, a couple days later, turn himself in. But again (or perhaps that should be butt again), he proved not to be world hide and seek championship material.

A detective familiar with Wilson told jail officials that they might want to give him a good going over since he tends to like to stash things in his underside bin, if you will. And sure enough, during a strip search, another balloon of marijuana came out to say hello.

More charges followed, but that still wasn’t the end of it.

If anyone should know that the jail phone mightn’t be the best place from which to pester folks about not cooperating with the police, you would think that person would be a 13 times convicted felon. You would be wrong.

Police listening to calls Wilson made to his girlfriend decided there was enough there to charge him with four counts of tampering with a witness to go along with his drug and weapons charges.

Trials are ongoing, and at last word Wilson was still being held on $110,000 bail.

If You Were Mindful For A Moment, You Would Never Buy This

I don’t know if these Moment Pebble people have created the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, because I’ve been around a long time and have seen my share of things both stupid and otherwise and it’s hard to rank them all at this point. But what I do know is that they’ve absolutely given it one hell of a go.

As reported mental health issues are on the rise, the benefits of mindfulness are well documented – but finding time in your busy day to practice mindfulness is challenging for most. The solution? The Moment Pebble.

The Moment Pebble enables you to take 30 second micro moments of mindfulness – any time, anywhere. With a gentle light that beats from within, it guides you through a short breathing exercise that helps you de-stress and re-energise before you continue with your day.

Listen. I don’t want to judge people or anything here, but if you’ve got 70 bucks to toss out on a tiny, rechargeable rock that needs a separately rechargeable base, what could you possibly have to be stressed about in this life? Aside from others finding out how dopey and easily swindled you are, of course. That’s just a given. One that could probably go a long way toward being alleviated by you not buying a $70 rechargeable glowing rock.

Somehow this thing has absolutely obliterated its funding goal, which makes my soul hurt. It hurts so much, in fact, that I think I may need to go take a quick walk and reset. Walks, by the way, are free. I know you know that, but apparently 1,129 people and counting need reminding.

Why Didn’t Someone Tell Me Two-Bagger Wasn’t An Insult?

I’m not sure if this fella has been arrested yet, but it likely won’t be long before his poor planning comes back to bite him if not.

Just before 8.30pm the man walked into the store on Lower King Street, Caboolture, with the bag on his head and threatened the female attendant with a knife.
The staff member complied, handing him cash and cigarettes, which he placed in the bag after removing it from his head.

Yes, he was caught on camera. You can see those images at the link above. Be sure to call police if you recognize him, or to laugh in his exposed face if you’re reading this from prison and he happens to be sitting nearby.

Diamonds And Buns

Obviously the main story here is that this fella had 44 diamonds stuffed into his jewelry can, but it maybe shouldn’t be overlooked that he was riding a motorcycle at the time. That cannot have been comfortable.

Twenty-three-year-old Eusebio Padilla was arrested on charges including receiving stolen property and tampering with evidence after what began as a routine traffic stop on April 7. Police pulled him over for allegedly riding a motorcycle without a license plate.

Police said they spotted a knife on Padilla and patted him down. He was caught attempting to remove “a baggy” from his rear at some point during the traffic stop, according to a criminal complaint filed in Albuquerque’s Metropolitan Court.
Police said they found 44 diamonds inside the bag recovered from Padilla’s rectum. The man allegedly told officers that he obtained the jewels from his uncle who “usually has stolen items,” KOB 4 reported.

Yup, he received that stolen property, all right.

Police say that Padilla’s plan was to eventually trade the diamonds for drugs. Assuming they’re not fakes, how did he plan to get a stash that size home on a motorcycle?

Oh. Right.

Guess I Don’t Have To Tell You To Spread ‘Em

Haven’t had a good old fashioned dumb ass public sex story in a while. This’ll work.

Cops say that Gary Hill and Crystal Frances had shared a pint of vodka before they began trysting in public. Cops learned about the coupling around 9 PM from a female passerby who reported that a duo was poised to have sex in front of headquarters.
When a patrolman went outside to investigate, he spotted the 46-year-old Hill with his pants down having sex with Frances (who was not wearing pants or underwear). The couple, lying down on the sidewalk, was “actively engaging in sexual intercourse,” police charge.

Yes, headquarters is indeed a reference to a headquarters of the police variety. Why wouldn’t it be?

When police questioned him, Hill offered an entirely logical explanation for what happened.

“I’m horny. She was giving it up to me right then and there.”

Unfortunately for hill, the police weren’t having any of his strike while the iron is hot defense and decided to charge him with indecent exposure and jail him on $7500 bond instead of letting him finish. They were also seemingly uninterested in his statement that this is “a Key West moment,” although I’m sure the tourism department is suddenly in a rush to do up some new license plates.

Frances hadn’t been arrested at the time of this report. She was deemed too intoxicated for that at the scene and taken to a hospital to dry out instead.

Yes, You May Want To Grab A Towel

You wouldn’t know it by this fucking weather we’ve been having, but it’s nearly swimsuit season. So if any of you ladies or adventurous dudes are in the market for a new one, perhaps you might consider one of these.

The bikini bottoms in question are a lovely light pink, with a leaf design on one side. So far, so lovely.
But right on the crotch, there’s a red patch. The patch emanates from the vagina area, spreading upwards and giving the distinct look of a period stain.
Because who doesn’t want to hit the pool looking like they forgot their menstrual cup?
The product description reads: ‘This sophisticated bikini bottom will have you ready for the poolside or beach in no time. Featuring a chic ombre print with a placement leaf design on it, they’ll instantly make you feel like grabbing your beach towel, sunglasses and enjoying the sunshine.’

Somebody Bombed Reading Comprehension

Am I a cranky old man, or is it reasonable to expect that by the time a kid gets to high school she should be able to call in her bomb threat to the right place even if the names maybe look kind of similar?

A bomb threat to the Wilkinson School in El Granada, reported the morning of April 11, came from a juvenile in Mississippi who meant to call her own school with the threat, according to the San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office. 
Sheriff’s Office investigators say they were able to trace Thursday’s phone call to the El Granada school to a high school student who attends Wilkinson County High School in Mississippi. Apparently, the threat was intended for the Mississippi school, according to the San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office. The principal of the high school in Mississippi was notified of the incident, and the school administration will handle the discipline of the student, according to a San Mateo County Sheriff’s release.

Hurry Hurry Steal The Firetruck

I’m curious. Was he actually stuck up there and then decided spur of the moment that it would be cool to drive off in a firetruck, or was the plan all along to lure a firetruck up there so that he could drive off in it? Man calls 911 to be rescued from bluffs, then tries to steal a fire truck

The emergency call came in shortly before 8:20 a.m., according to Stephan Powell, a district chief with Toronto Fire Services.
The man, 40, told dispatch he was stuck on the bluffs but his cellphone died before he could provide a specific location to police.
Firefighters arrived at the top of the steep cliffs near Sylvan Park and a Toronto police marine unit searched for the caller from the water. 
While emergency services on the scene were occupied with the search, the man allegedly tried to get into a fire truck and drive away, said Toronto police Const. David Hopkinson.

He didn’t get far, and has been charged with attempted theft over $5,000 and failure to comply with recognizance.

I’ll Ask Again. Are We Ready To Sit Quietly And Work On Our Math Problems now?

Substitute teacher definitely isn’t the easiest job in the world, but have the kids really gotten so out of hand nowadays that you need to bring a knife and a gun?

According to an affidavit in the misdemeanor criminal cases against Weaver – reckless endangerment, third-degree aggravated assault and possession of a firearm on school grounds – this is what happened inside the elementary school classroom: Weaver had a Taurus .380 pistol and a knife in his front right pocket. He bent over to pick up an item off the floor and when he straightened back up, the knife, a clip-on, entered the trigger guard of the pistol and caused it to discharge into the floor.
A fragment struck a 7-year-old girl in the leg. There was a welt on the girl’s leg, records state, but the fragment did not penetrate the skin.
Weaver was taken into custody at the scene, interviewed and then booked into the Blount County Jail. He was released the same day on $3,000 bond and has a court date set for May.

How did he end up with a gun in his pocket, you ask?

He took a quick phone call as he was about to go into the school – he had to be there at 7:20 a.m. – and was running slightly behind schedule when he got out of the car. “I completely forgot about the pistol being in my pocket,’’ Weaver said.

I need to know more about this guy’s pants. If I have anything in my pocket more bulky than a bank card or a receipt, I’m aware of it. Meanwhile buddy here is waltzing around a public school with a mini arsenal, apparently unbeknownst to himself.

But even if he’s telling the god’s honest about the gun, what’s up with the knife?

This isn’t a very strong argument for that stupid let’s arm all the teachers idea, either.