Please Don’t Swing On The Hydro Lines, Say Officials To People They Think Might Somehow Understand Words

I’m not sure what the stupidest thing I’ve done while drunk is. Not because I’m usually too far gone to remember things like that, but because generally speaking I’m not the kind of person who does a lot that could be classified as seriously, terminally dumb. For instance, it’s rather unlikely that you’ll ever find …

I Can See Some ID. Please, Sir

It’s been a while since a fella has given the cops a false name even though his real one is tattooed on his body, but I’ve found another one. It’s one from a couple years back, but since when has that stopped us? Say hello to Matthew Bushman. Police were looking to speak to him …

I Think I Know The Answer To Most Of These Questions

What kind of person murders someone? What kind of person thoroughly documents himself murdering someone? What kind of person writes the word “homicide” on the media containing the thorough documentation of him murdering someone? What kind of person drops the media containing the thorough documentation of him murdering someone with the word “homicide” written on …

Give Me All My Guns! I Have A…Uh-oh

This is a fairly run-of-the-mill sounding robbery story, aside from one detail. Surveillance video from the hotel shows a man wearing a shirt around his face and a University of Alabama sock hat enter the hotel with a gun and go behind the front desk. The clerk shows the suspect to the other side of …

I Deeply Apologize For This Impossible Accident

I’m not an expert on Ottawa’s municipal politics, but I feel fairly comfortable questioning the judgement of the city’s deputy mayor, George Darouze. He strikes me as the sort of guy who either is legitimately stupid or thinks that everyone else is. First things first, it’s never a good sign when even before you get …

There’s Nothing Like A Nice Day At The Bleach

It’s an old story that some of you may have already heard, but I feel the need to highlight it anyway just because it’s so…so…so…so fucking stupid. In preparation for the easing of some COVID lockdown measures last April, an area in Spain decided that it would be a solid children protecting move to hose …

Yeah Boss. I’m Super Sick. If You Don’t Believe Me, You Can Ask This Error-laden Documentation I Just Knocked Together

A 34-year-old Santwon Antonio Davis of Morrow, Georgia, finds himself in some legal trouble after allegedly doing a pretty sloppy ass job of tricking his employer into believing that he and his mother had Coronavirus so that he could take advantage of the company’s we’ll pay you while you’re stuck in quarantine policy. A manager …

Suddenly, There Was A Click. Unfortunately, It Was Not The Subscribe Button They Had Hoped For

I’d love to say I can’t believe we have to go over this again, but I totally can. Ideally, when you play a prank, it’s one of those things that might irritate someone (think cleverly annoying phone call), but at the end of the day is relatively harmless. Perhaps not everyone is laughing, but there’s …

Keep E-Comm And Carry ON

The annual stupid ass reasons why people called 911 lists are starting to come out. E-Comm, one of the dispatch systems in British Columbia, is out with its top 10. Some are fairly standard, but you can definitely see the COVID influence creeping in. To complain that a¬†food delivery driver did not deliver a meal. …