Only Possible Thing That Could Have Happened Happens

I’m not sure how much to read into this, but it has to mean something, right? It certainly makes me think twice about praising Doug Ford’s decision making skills, and if people are somewhat less inclined to take the government’s advice after this it’s not hard to understand why. This is pretty much the last […]

I’m Lynn Beyak, And I Approved This Message. Wait, No I Didn’t. My Mistake

God, don’t you just hate it when you accidentally claim to live in a town and country you don’t live in and write down the incorrect occupation on a form and then wind up donating to Donald Trump’s re-election campaign in violation of American campaign finance laws? That’s what happened to Senator Lynn Beyak who, […]

How Much Is That Baggie In The window

Nice throw, chief. Stephanie Dowdy, 33, was behind the wheel of a Honda Civic that was pulled over late last night after a cop spotted the vehicle traveling in the middle of a roadway in West Monroe (where Dowdy resides). While approaching from the Honda’s passenger side, a deputy was struck in the leg by […]

And The Award For New Dumbest Fraud That Apparently Actually Works Goes To…

I’m struggling to figure out how this scam works. Not because of its extreme level of sophistication or anything like that, but because try as I might, I can’t imagine a scenario in which even as a naive high school student I could manage to be this much of a maroon. City police fraud detectives […]

I Bring This Stuff Everywhere. You Can Never Be Too Careful With So Many Thieves Around

Rare is the day when I actively hope that a person is homeless, but today is that day. Because if this woman wasn’t, what was she thinki…never mind. I really ought to know better than this by now. A 23-year-old Guelph woman has been charged after police say she brought several bags of stolen property […]

Excellent! It’s The Not Getting Away Car, Right On Schedule

Old story is old, but ones like it rarely fail to amuse me to some degree and it’s been a slow couple of days round these parts, so here we are. LaSalle police had an easy arrest Monday at Windsor Crossings Premium Outlets after an alleged shoplifter mistakenly got into their unmarked police vehicle. Officers responded […]

People Are Putting Masks In The Microwave? People Are Putting Masks In The Microwave

I would very much like to tell you all that I am surprised to learn that people have been accidentally setting fires by putting their masks in the microwave to sterilize them, but that would be a lie. What does surprise me, however, is that the sort of person who would do a thing like […]

Can We Just Build A Wall Around America And Be Done With It?

I know people don’t much like the word in this context anymore, but this is retarded. Completely and utterly fucking retarded. So retarded that actual retarded people would look at the person who would make a decision like it and say “what are you, retarded?” A federal judge has struck down Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf’s […]