“Can I Bring This In Here?” “Neigh Neigh.”

I’m so sick. Please, get me to a hospital right away. But first, bring me a stuffed toy, a knife and some ivermectin. A COVID-19 patient tried to sneak the anti-parasite drug ivermectin into Windsor Regional Hospital by hiding it inside a stuffed animal, according to an internal memo sent to staff at the Ontario …

Dude, Where’s My Car? Yours Is Wedged In That House Over There

The closest I’ve ever come to a frantic late night search for a car is that time we couldn’t get a damn taxi for hours after a night out. But at no point during that entire ordeal did the idea of stealing another car so I could search for one, getting it stuck on some …

This Is Bob. I’m Lost In The Snow Right Now, So Please Introduce Yourself And Try Calling Again Later

Listen. I really do not enjoy being on the phone. If I have a reason to not take a call, I am taking advantage of that reason nearly 100 percent of the time. So with that said, I really tried going into this story with an open mind. Honest, I did. But dear god, you …

Now We Know Why His Brain Isn’t Growing

I’m not sure this is the stupidest media interview I’ve ever seen, but it’s up there. It definitely gets credit for packing a whole lot of dipshit into slightly less than a minute. Holy Christ. Graham was speaking with Insulate Britain climate activist Cameron Ford, and started the interview by referencing the group’s tactic of …

This Means War…Or Something

Yes, Christmas is over. but I just saw…whatever the fuck this is and I just had to share it. At the lighting of the new Christmas tree, Fox News contributor Rev. Jacques DeGraff declares: "I’m here because these colors do not run. 80 years ago this week, they tried to extinguish the darkness in a …

There Are Number 1s Right In Your Phone Number. I Thought You Could Help

Today’s…uh…piss poor reason for calling 911. I’m caught in slow moving traffic and I really need to take a wiz. Please send the police. Calling 9-1-1 because you need to use the bathroom and the car ahead isn't moving fast enough, is definitely #NotFor911. 9-1-1 misuse can potentially prevent someone with a life-threatening emergency from …

The Real Murderer Is Right Under Your Nose, Officer

I’m surprised that I’ve only heard about this stunt once. Hopefully it won’t become a thing. Anti-vaxxers took to the streets of Birmingham city centre on Saturday. Some of the demonstrators felt so strongly about the jab, they decided to go the police about it ‘being given to children against their will’. Chief superintendent Steve …

Of Course They’ll Give Me The Money. They Know Me Here

I don’t know much about Fountain Valley, California. I don’t even think I had heard of it until just now. But if there’s one thing I do know about it, that thing is that it is the home of more than one bank. In fact, typing the words “Fountain Valley California bank” into Google like …

Blind People Don’t Play Games Or Support Charities, Apparently

Now and then I take a quick glance at the ads that appear on some of our pages. I figure it’s nice to have a sense of what’s being shilled on our behalf, plus if there’s anything scammy looking that people might need to be warned about I’ll be able to check into it. Google’s …