I Hear NO Brain A Comin’

I’m just spitballing here, but I feel like this was done during a break between rounds of posting conspiracy theories on Facebook. A train engineer told police in Los Angeles that he intentionally crashed his locomotive at high speed near the USNS Mercy hospital ship in what seems to be a bizarre attempt to expose …

Oh The Railroad Yells In the Middle Of The Night

CN promises to stop blaring train horns overnight in Guelph Old story, but posting it because I’m wondering if maybe I can borrow a few of these protesters. They seem to be able to get shit done, and I could use that. My grandparents have a railroad running through the middle of their property. I …

But If Only Part Of Me Hits You, How Can You Sue All Of Me?

Not that you should need one, but here’s another reason to avoid getting yourself hit by a train. If part of your silly ass ends up injuring someone nearby, your estate might end up having to pay for it. Ruling in what it called a “tragically bizarre” case, an appeals court found that the estate …

I Am My Choices, But Thankfully Not A Pancake

I seriously thought they were going to get plowed down by a train. 😰😰😰 pic.twitter.com/W3FTZTO4Y4 — ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ • Carly (@CarlyAlmighty) May 23, 2019 This fella here, who apparently nearly had his lunch eaten by an oncoming train about 30 seconds after this video was shot, turns out to be an elementary school principal here in …

Don’t Hurt Yourself…ie

That title is awful. I know. It’s the best I had. Sometimes the perfect selfie is the one you don’t take. The one with you and the speeding train that’s headed right for you, for instance. The 21-second-long video was shared thousands of times on Facebook on Wednesday. In it, Mr Siva is seen standing …

Hang On, Man. I’m About To Catch A Train

If I live another hundred years, I will still never understand how it is that a person can get himself so distracted that he fails to notice something the size of, the sound of and the feel of a fucking train. People often try when we publish one of these stories, but there is literally …

I’ve Been Shavin’ On The Railroad, Slicin’ Pubes Away. I’ve Been Shavin’ On The Railroad, Even Though I Didn’t Pay

No disrespect to any of you who might be so inclined, but shaving your pubes with a kitchen knife sounds a little weird to me. But even if I can accept that this sort of grooming might be a thing, are there not better places to engage in such a pastime than a train bathroom? …

I Take On This Same Train Every Week

I saw this a few months ago but kept forgetting to post it…which is a terrible oversight since it has two themes we looove: people having close calls with trains, and the idea that something crazy happened to a person again, and it’s mentioned in the headline. It says here that at the beginning of …

How Do You Say OMG Under A Train TTYL In German?

If it wasn’t for the potential for damage to innocent vehicles and for unnecessary trauma being inflicted on folks acting like properly adjusted human beings are supposed to act in the world, I’d say to hell with these morons and their stupid phones, who cares if they die? But since both of those things are …