Rudolph The Resigning Prime Minister

Damn you, Jonathon Gatehouse. You and your National Today newsletter just ruined Christmas and Canadian history for me for the rest of time.

Today in history

Nov. 15, 1948: A farewell address from Prime Minister Mackenzie King — who was also apparently the voice of Sam the Snowman in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

He’s right, you guys.

Sam the Snowman:

Prime Minister King:

Other than some extra whistling on the S’s, it’s uncanny. Why was this glossed over in high school?

Trumpy Bear?

The other night I fell asleep watching TV. There’s nothing really out of the ordinary about that, but what I awoke to was a commercial so strange that I was half convinced that I must have been dreaming it. I was pretty sure I was with it enough to tell the difference between dreamland and reality, but I shuffled off to bed not knowing for sure.

It was still bugging me the next day, so I asked Carin. She laughed, said she’d never seen it and thought that maybe it could have been one of my dreams. I don’t often remember my dreams, but the ones I do remember can be pretty weird so it’s not like she was being dismissive of my foolishness and trying to get me to leave her alone. Yeah, I’m shocked, too.

So with nowhere else to turn, it was time to hit the Google. And…well…how about that!

Seriously, what in the hell is this? A tribute? A parody? Both? Nobody really seems to know (although Ad Age gave figuring it out a decent try).

Whatever it is, it’s just a wee bit ingenious. It sure as hell grabs your attention, for a start. And if you’re the sort of person who is inclined to buy things from the television, you might just want this no matter which side of the aisle you’re on. There’s just as good a case for it being an epic troll job as there is for it being a real albeit ridiculous attempt at making a loving collectable, and it even comes with a certificate of authenticity. Who can resist that? I’m sure it’s worth slightly more than the paper that Fleshbag Trumpy’s speeches are written on, assuming he ever bothers jotting any of that shit down outside of Twitter.

I have no idea what it’s supposed to be, but at least I know it wasn’t a dream. Now on to sorting out whether that’s good or bad…

The Modern Monster Mash


Carin found this but didn’t have a chance to put it up, so I’ll do it. It’s pretty good, but I think they need to update it again to include the new scarriest monsters of our time.

Happy Halloween. Hope you’re doing something fun and/or scary to celebrate if that’s your thing. As for me, the most frightening thing I’ll be getting up to is handing in rent cheques and hoping that the clowns dressed up as management don’t lose them again.

(Updating With Watch Links) Brad Is On Menu Match-Up!

Brad, brother of Steve, baker of many things and keeper of Trixie, is going to be on TV! He’s part of a cooking show series called Menu Match-up which is airing for the next 8 Tuesdays at 8:30 on the Accessible Media Inc (AMI) channel.
Check out the promo. I would love to embed it, but the beautiful player does not seem to have share or embed capabilities.

You can watch his episode on December 12 at 8:30, or multiple times after that. I would love to link to a page showing them all, but that is proving difficult to do. Also, the episode will be available online on AMI’s website after it airs. I’m sure we will get our hands on it. The only little thing is the episodes are geoblocked, so folks outside Canada will have to get creative if they want to watch them.

As much as I love AMI, I kind of need to get a little bit annoyed with them about the media kit PDF file they sent with all the show info in it. It is almost accessible, in fact it was even tagged. But someone forgot to do a little touching up of the reading order, and thus for a screen-reader user, the result looks, well, a little something like this. Seriously. Can you click on the video trailer? Can you make heads or tails of which channel number goes with which network? Can you figure out which show title goes with which show description? Are there any sections so you can skim at all? No? I didn’t think so. I hope they can fix it up, just so they can give an example of what a good PDF looks like.

Here are the episode descriptions. I will attempt to match the titles, but it’s going to take a bit of work because I couldn’t tell what goes with what. I also had to reorder these, because they displayed out of order for me, as you can see from the text file.

Beet Me to It

Episode 101
Airs: October 24 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Orly and Chef Suzanne Barr go up against home cook Yolanda and Chef Toben Kochman. It’s a tight race to the finish as both teams whip up wonders from a crate of secret ingredients.
Judges: Lauren Mozer, Abbey Sharp, Sean Earnshaw

A Quail of a Time

Episode 102
Airs: October 31 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Ramya and Chef Missy Hui go head to head with home cook Mary and Chef Deji Oduwole. It’s down to the wire; but who comes in first, the chicken or the egg?
Judges: Sang Kim, LeeAnne Wright, Suzanne Caskie

Squash the Competition

Episode 103
Airs: November 7 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Alicia and Chef John Cirillo take on home cook Sharon and Chef Anthony Ramundi. Things get “chili”in the kitchen as both teams get creative with canned goods and crackers.
Judges:Matt Dean Pettit, Michelle Jobin, Julie Miguel

Pasta Wars

Episode 104
Airs: November 14 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Dan and Chef Jonny O’Callaghan battle it out with home cook Sylvia and Chef Joe Friday. The knives and noodles come out as both teams slice and dice their way to pasta perfection.
Judges: Missy Hui, Hubert Leung, Deji Oduwole

Choreographed Chaos

Episode 105
Airs: November 21 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Chris and Chef Domenic Chiaromonte face off with home cook Michelle and Chef Sebastian Gallucci. Things go from mild to wild as everything is thrown in except for the kitchen sink.
Judges: Suzanne Caskie, Ryan Hinkson, Russell Auckbaraullee

Blender Blunder

Episode 106
Airs: November 28 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Jean Lydia and Chef Stephanie Tucci compete against home cook Kristina and Chef Russell Auckbaraullee. It’s crunch time as both teams go nuts to bring their best dish forward.
Judges: Kyla Zanardi, Murray Gregga, Afrim Pristine

Pinwheels and Poppers and Pastry, oh my!

Episode 107
Airs: December 5 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Shaunelle and Chef Tallis Voakes go head to head with home cook Karen and Chef Warren Ford. The kitchen heats up as both teams create the best recipe to make or bake a winning dish.
Judges: Joshna Maharaj, Anthony Ramundi, Matthew Ravenscroft

The Pits

Episode 108
Airs: December 12 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT
Home cook Brad and Chef Lauren Mozer team up against home cook Beverley and Chef Christian Pritchard. Peppered with jokes and puns, the teams compete to see who does sweet and savoury best.
Judges: Toben Kochman, Craig Wong, Rob Rossi

Heheh of course Brad’s episode would be full of puns.

Now, if the PDF had been done right, I wouldn’t have to have done all that work, and perhaps I wouldn’t have made mistakes. I think I got it right but who knows?

Anyway, check out the show. There’s another friend on there too, I think he’s in the fifth episode if I got it all right. It should be kinda neat!

Could That Be Made Today?

Gill is back and wondering about television, specifically what shows from the old days would look like now if they could even get made.

My pick for best show that may not get made today is Bizarre.

It gave us Super Dave Osborne, was a platform for some excellent comedians who wound up being pretty famous and featured some very funny sketches, but I’m not sure how well the Bigot Family and some of the more sexist stuff would fly in these times, especially on network television.

For almost seventy years TV has been an integral part of our lives from those classic cartoons to those smut driven reality shows we watch many things for many reasons.

My Question

What did you race home after school for, sneak out of bed and curl up on your mom’s lap, or what in the case of our immigrant readers taught you pre-playground English?

The Answer

Well, that depends on the time period you grew up in, whether you had cable, or in my case were restricted from certain programs due to certain elements.

Ok I Was Thinking Again

What would our favorite childhood shows be like taken out of the decade they were made in and plopped in to the 2017.

The Brady Bunch

Originally airing from 1969-1974 this wholesome look at a blended family may look more like this today. Stepmom to Greg, Peter, and Bobby Carol runs the company, Mike, stepdad to Marsha, Jan, and Cindy works from home as an internet consultant. Greg, is a closeted homosexual, Peter is stoned half the time, and Bobby is in a hard core band called Living Neon Snot. Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! Spends hours at the like mall maxing out Mike’s credit cards shopping for that perfect Kardashian look, Jan is constantly getting fat shamed by older sister leading to an eating disorder, Cindy is a little hipster in the making.

Danger Bay

In the mid 1980’s a Canadian show, yes friends I’m moving this cut and paste party north of the 49th Paralell. I watched this show at the time, and thought little of it, but fifteen years later once fully grown I noticed some things. All the bad people, well about 90% were American or some non-white foreigner. Here’s what it would look like today, Nicole would probably have a love for science, and carry with her some, maybe not all her Canadian Nationalist ideas, Jona, her older brother would go down to a school in California on a tennis scholarship, and not only meet but fall in love with a girl in a wheelchair. Grant and JL would pretty much stay the same.

Just Reboot It!

Family Ties was a show I loved as a child in the mid 1980’s, but how would it fair today? Steve and Aleis would stay pretty much the same, cool, without having to try hard. The jury’s still out on if Alex P would be a Trump Republican, Malery would still be not only fashion savvy, but have some computer smarts, Jennifer, the Thom Boy, and one I most related too, would start out Thom Boy and become hipster or maybe Goth, Little Andy, well, he has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair.

Question

What show from your childhood would make it today, which one wouldn’t, and which do you think deserves a 2010’s remake?

Netflix And Audio Description Ease And Satisfaction Survey

I’m not a Netflix subscriber so I can’t really help out here, but if you are and can, you have until September 20th to take part in a survey on its described video offerings.

Sara Brennan, a Masters student at the University of Montreal in the Vision Sciences program, is exploring the ease and satisfaction of use of the described audio description available on Netflix. She is looking for blind individuals who are users of screen reading software to learn more about their experience with online television watching.
The survey should take no more than 10-15 minutes and is completely voluntary.
For more information, please see:
• In English, https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KL3CPXX
• In French, https://fr.surveymonkey.com/r/9JFWKFX

Happy Birthday, Canadian TV!

This week kind of sort of marks the 65th birthday of Canadian television. There were experimental broadcasts years before then and if you lived in the right place and had a big enough antenna you could pull in some American stations, but until September 6th, 1952, Canada had no actual broadcast television of its own.

It was on that day that CBFT, more commonly known as CBC Montreal, signed on. It was followed two days later by CBC Toronto A.K.A. CBLT. The rest, as the saying goes, is history.

On September 6, 1952, CBC TV debuted in Montreal on CBFT. At 4 p.m., viewers tuned in and watched the movie Aladdin and his Lamp, followed by a cartoon, and then a French film, a news review and a bilingual variety show.
Two days later, CBC TV debuted in Toronto. Seconds before the cameras went live, a technician removed and cleaned the CBC logo slide. Producer Murray Chercover shouted at the technician, “Don’t do that!” and the rattled crew member placed the slide back in upside down as the network took to the airwaves. “I can’t remember what we did, or if we shot the poor guy responsible,” Norman Jewison, then a 25-year-old floor director, later recalled.

Say what you want about the CBC, but you’ll never convince me that Canada would be better off without it than it has been with it. You simply won’t find a more reliable, consistent source for news, sports, music and comedy in this country.

The Pitch Is Inbound And It Misses For Bucket One

I take in most of my Blue Jays games on the radio, so I totally missed this Sportsnet postgame interview from the other night. Thank you, internet.

Sportsnet’s Hazel Mae was having a nice post game interview with Blue Jays’ Justin Smoak when Ryan Tepera attempt at drenching his teammate with a sports drink misses and goes all over Mae thus ending the interview.

Those are some pretty good mics to catch the SPLASH! so perfectly. Hopefully they still work.

And for the benefit of anyone who may not be up on their baseball, part of the reason this is so amusing is that Ryan Tepera is a pitcher. A pitcher who can generally locate a throw much better than this.

The White Part Of The TV Is Acting Up Again

Since the whole world or at least what feels like it is talking about racism right now, I’m gonna leave this right here as a reminder that in spite of appearances and the best efforts of some, we have actually made progress. There once was a time when it was perfectly acceptable to run commercials like this on television.

That’s…not good.

It does sport a pretty catchy tune though I must say, and I’m not afraid to admit that the bit about reservations made me laugh a little.

Anyway, let’s all try to get along and love each other a little more, and maybe not elect bigoted dimwit celebrities who are qualified to do exactly 0 things to important public offices in the future, whatdaya think?