United Breaks The International Date Line…And Also A Dog

Again with the dogs, United? At least you didn’t kill anyone this time, so you’ve got that going for you, I guess. KCTV reports that Kara Swindle and her two children flew from Oregon to Kansas City, Missouri, Tuesday on a United flight. They went to a cargo facility to pick up 10-year-old Irgo, a …

United Breaks The Rules Of Overhead Bin Stowage…And Also A Dog

If there’s one truth about United Airlines, it’s that no matter what the greatest extent to which something can be fucked up is, they’re the people who will find it. Today’s episode: Let’s put this family’s dog in this here overhead bin and see what happens. You, because you do not work for United and …

United Breaks Custom Motorized Wheelchairs

Jesus, United. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Valentin Duthion has spinal muscular atrophy, and requires the use of his wheelchair to get around. When he and his friends boarded a United Airlines flight to New Jersey, they left his chair in the care of airline staff, as is normal procedure, according to …

United Breaks Violinists

Though the reasons why remain a mystery, we’ve known for quite some time that United Airlines and the industry in general clearly has something against musicians who play stringed instruments. It’s happened again, this time to violinist Yennifer Correia who wound up in a literal fight over her 17th century instrument with a supervisor of …

United Breaks My Brain A Bit, But At Least Its Trying A Little Harder To Say Sorry

CEO says airline will not use police to remove passengers in the wake of a video that showed a forcible removal of a Chicago passenger on Sunday Probably a good idea, but here’s a better one. Count the number of seats in each plane, then sell the same number of tickets. It’s not rocket science, …

United Breaks Faces, Any Pretense Of Giving A Shit

Listen. We’ve all had a lot of fun with the whole United Breaks thing and we all know that United can go fuck itself right along with basically every other airline, but there are almost no words for this. https://www.facebook.com/audra.dickerson/videos/10104378182069960/ Quiz time. The distressed fellow in that video: A: Got past security and made his …

United Breaks Baggage Handlers

To be fair he was unharmed so I suppose they didn’t break him per se, but they certainly could have since while baggage is meant to fly in the cargo hold, the same isn’t generally true of its handlers. A baggage handler was locked inside an airplane’s cargo area during a 1.5-hour flight from North …