Let’s Play Some Basketball! Instead Of Singing? Good Idea!

Nelly Furtado, Fergie…I’m beginning to wonder if maybe the NBA should stop having folks sing national anthems at its All-Star games.

Yes, I defended Nelly Furtado at the time and I stand by that decision even though her shaky start was quite a bit more jarring than I remember, But I’m not defending this.

I don’t think I’d go as far as to say that “a goose being strangled in your living room would produce a much more pleasant series of noises” as Deadspin did, but hot damn is this ever no fucking good.

If you were to ask me to pinpoint exactly when things went off the rails, first I would ask you what rails it started out on, but then, because I am fair, I would say that up until the part where our flag was still there things were merely awful. It’s at that point when everything just goes straight to irredeemable hell. Oof. I mean just listen to that!

I understand the urge to put a new spin on something old. Jimi Hendrix became legendary for doing that very thing.

But here’s the thing. Most people aren’t Jimi Hendrix. And evoking imagery of rockets and bombs with nothing but an instrument is a whole lot different than turning your country’s national anthem into something you’d hear in a jazz lounge that deserves to go out of business. I appreciate the effort, but let’s maybe stop overthinking things so much.

Hmmm Can You Analyze Love Too Much?

Somebody posted this on Facebook, and I had a good chuckle, and decided that it needed to go up here because putting brain structures and hormones in a love song was the funniest geeky idea I’d seen in a while. I’m pretty happy with myself, I only had to look up a couple word spellings so I could put the lyrics down. I love being able to check the Youtube captions to see if I can trust them. No, Youtube, dopamine is not doctor.

Enjoy, and I hope the warm fuzzies still feel as warm and fuzzy, even if they’re made of oxytocin.

When you looked in my direction, I thought my heart might explode (my heart was racing and I thought it might explode)
Because my sympathetic nervous system caused Norepinephrine to stimulate my sinoatrial node.
When you looked in my direction, when you first looked in my eyes (when you looked into my eyes),
My stress response diverted bloodflow from my stomach and intestines, and it felt like butterflies.
I knew I wanted to marry ya, as my ventral tegmental area sent signals to my nucleus accumbens,
and oh, oh, oh my lord, the anticipation of reward, that do do dopamine starts pumpin’

[chorus]
I know oxytocin is the potion of devotion, gimme that dose of dopamine, hold the serotonin.
still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my mind.

When you first smiled at me, I did foolish things (really really really really stupid things),
because my judgment was impaired, by a reduction in activity in my amygdala and the frontal cortex of my brain.
When you first smiled at me, I began to fall (one smile and I began to fall)
and so did my serotonin levels, producing anxiety, I couldn’t eat or sleep at all.
Then a year or two went by, with serotonin on the rise, til I was feeling comfortable and calm.
Now every single time we touch, I get that oxytocin rush, our bond has never been so strong

I know oxytocin is the potion of devotion, dialback that dopamine, here comes serotonin.
Still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my mind

Lady, we’ve been together for a while now and things are starting to mellow out. But that’s ok because we can still get those sparks of dopamine back by experiencing new things together.

[key change]
Oxytocin is the potion of devotion, a little bit of dopamine, a lot of serotonin.
Still goin’, growin’, stronger all the time.
I love you, and I’m never gonna change my, never gonna change my, never gonna change my mind.

Happy Shawinigan Handshake Day

Today is Flag Day here in Canada. It’s a time to celebrate the day in 1965 when the Maple Leaf replaced the Red Ensign as our country’s new official symbol.

Strangely, an event of such significance didn’t always have its own day. Believe it or not, it took us until 1996 for a government to decide hey, maybe we should recognize this anniversary in some way. And so it was that on February 15th of that year, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien and Governor General Roméo LeBlanc declared that National Flag of Canada Day would be celebrated for the first time.

The first ceremony was held in Hull, Quebec, because when you think national Canadian pride, Quebec is totally the first place that comes to mind…especially so hot on the heels of that whole should we stay or should we go thing a few months earlier. Although to be fair they did stay, and if memory serves that was part of the reason for choosing that location.

And what a day it was.

All the nice happy flag stuff happened which is great of course, but there was also this, which is what I’ll forever remember it for.

The presiding Prime Minister, Jean Chretien, was confronted by protesters demonstrating against proposed cuts to the unemployment insurance system.
While walking through the crowd Chretien grabbed one protester who had approached him by the neck and pushed him aside, later downplaying the incident.
“I dunno, what happened?” the PM from Shawinigan asked reporters in a media scrum right after. “I had to go, so if you’re in my way, I’m walking. I dunno what happened. Somebody should not have been there.”
Later, the Prime Minister’s Office said Chretien was simply trying to protect himself.
The incident went on to be known as the Shawinigan Handshake.

And Jean Chrétien went on to remain my favourite Prime Minister of all time.

And Now, Your Periodic Reminder Not To Be Asshats To Blind People


Lord knows if it does any good (judging by what happens when we have the temerity to go outside and try to live normal lives it’s often tempting to say it doesn’t), but now and then I feel it’s good to post one of these things in the hope that this time, maybe, just maybe, some of you will start catching on. Maybe you’ll stop yelling into our ears. Maybe you’ll stop asking complicated questions and then moving on to the next shiny thing after four seconds. Or maybe, as the one guy so eloquently puts it, you’ll “get your fuckin’ hands off me!” You probably won’t, but we can dream.

I Don’t Know About That!

A little while ago, I wondered if my grandma could benefit from one of those Amazon Echo things. I thought maybe it could call people since she says she can’t see the numbers on the phone and doesn’t know how to do it another way, check the weather, read the news, play music, etc. But I came to realize there was way too much setup, and after talking to lots of people, it became clear that she likely wouldn’t really get the idea of talking to a box and giving it commands.

Yeah, after watching that video, maybe I’ll just try and get her a phone with lots of speed dial options on it and teach her how to dial by feel, make sure she has a radio and leave it at that.

More Music From The White Trash Washing Machine

So remember the fella who played The Devil Went Down To Georgia along with his crappy ass washing machine? Seems he hasn’t gotten around to replacing it yet, thank god.

Fight For Your Right To LAUNDRY:

Sweet Child/Washing Some Clothes Now featuring Axl Clothes:

Smokey and The Washer:

On The Road Again/Wash A Load Again:

Yes, this is a one note gag. No, it is not getting old. The day that thing finally dies is going to be a sad one around here, let me tell ya.

And There I Was, Switching Tapes Like An Idiot Every Time I wanted To Hear Something Different

I’m sure at some point, whether it held 3 or 5 or 25, almost all of us owned some sort of CD changer. And when I was young I remember my mom having a record player that could hold something like three or 4 at a time. But until today, I don’t remember ever having heard of a cassette changer. Damn, do I ever wish I’d had one. Life would have been so much simpler.

Imagine if someone tried to create an iPod type device for the home in 1972 using mechanical technology…this is what it would look like.

According to the adverts – the Panasonic RS-296US could play 2.5 days of music non-stop…that’s roughly the same play time to the ‘1000 songs in your pocket’ that the first 5GB Apple iPod boasted in 2001.

NOTE
2.5 days of play time equates to 60 hours which would require 20x 180-min cassettes. Whilst these tapes did exist at one point, 180-minute lengths were also very fragile and best avoided.

A more realistic play time is to load this machine up with 20x 90-minute cassettes which gives you 30 hours, and that’s why I refer to the ‘day and a half’ of continuous music at the end of video.