You Say Potato, I Say Fire Alarm Worthy Toilet Emergency

Nope, I’ve got nothin’. Man Clogs Toilet With Potatoes, Pulls Fire Alarm to Get Help Quicker The man, who has not yet been identified, pulled the alarm at 7:48 a.m. Sunday at the Oakwood Apartments along the 8700 block of West Chester Pike in Upper Darby, police tell NBC10. According to authorities, for an unknown […]

This Is Not A Robbery. Please Kindly Accept My Shoes And This Radio

This is from 2012, but I’m noting it anyway because of the total whatthefuckedness of it all. Employees said the man entered the bank wearing stick-on facial tattoos and a vest made out of sheet metal, and then took off his shoes and socks and put them in a wastebasket. He then put a small […]

No Buddy, You’re Supposed To Be Guarding Us, Not Him!

Does anybody care to take a stab at explaining the story of Jason McDaniel? Best I can tell, he’s part burglar, part murderer and part dog whisperer. “He was standing there with the refrigerator door open and feeding their dog, Buddy, some pudding,” assistant police chief Dan Reierson told the Wanatchee World newspaper. McDaniel casually […]

This Melon Belongs In The Ocean, This Melon Belongs In The Sea. So Don’t Take It Out Of The Ocean, And Pour Your Swim Noodle On Me

The story of 68-year-old Karl Ludwig Eichner and the head-shaped rotting watermelon he was adamant did not belong in the ocean is another of those times when I need say nothing funny or serious to add to the strangeness of it all. A woman who was at the beach with a friend observed a rotting […]

Keep Your Friends Close And Your Enemas Closer

Hmmm. This is just weird. This is the story. Wish I had more details. One sunday afternoon, an unnamed man who is apparently pretty close to blind got a knock on his door. “I’m here to give you an enema,” a woman said. He had just had some intestinal surgery, so thought maybe this was […]