Please stop telling people to self-monitor themselves. Ditto for self-isolating themselves. One cannot do either of those things to a person who is not himself. Thanks. Good talk.
We’re supposed to call it physical distancing now, but whatever. I like that change, by the way. It’s a much better description of what’s supposed to be going on. You can be social from a physical distance thanks to all of our old and new technology, and the same people who keep telling us to […]
I keep seeing the ads for A&W’s Wild-Caught Cod Burger. I find them interesting, because until they came along I had no idea there were cod burgers in the wild.
I write a lot, but I virtually never use semicolons. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever used one here (no, I’m not combing through every post to check, although one of you can feel free to do that if you have nothing else going on ever again). We covered them in school, but for […]
I’m glad that 570 News seems to have finally edited that commercial where the woman is plugging a trip to Spain and says “it truly is a once in a lifetime experience. I can’t wait to go back.” Yes, she really did say that and nobody caught it. How do you miss a mistake that […]
I’m starting to get irritated by the Casper mattress commercial. “Try it today for 100 nights risk free,” it says. How? I can do one or the other, but not both. That’s not how time works. How about “order today and try it for 100 nights risk free?” Is this really that hard?
I did get a chuckle out of these dunderheads driving their stolen car full of drugs straight into a RIDE program checkpoint, but I’m more hung up on the fact that somebody involved with either the creation of this news brief or the police press release it’s almost certainly sourced from decided to use the […]
I’ve never understood why sometimes in a news story it will say that someone was charged with fraud, for example, and then add “contrary to the criminal code.” What is the point of those words? It’s fraud. It’s not legal. Of course it’s contrary to the criminal code. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be in […]
I actually saw the whole Judge Judy yeet incident Steve referenced here. Steve was out in the kitchen and I started laughing like crazy. At the time, I thought this “yeet” thing was just something this dopey kid and her dopey friends said. I mean, said dopey kid just hucked somebody’s laptop because she heard […]
Some days I’m pleasantly surprised by how well I can still relate to younger people. Other days I am exactly “Yeet?” years old.