“Give Me My Stuff Back Or I’m Calling The Cops!” “You’re Way Ahead Of You, Dude.”

There may be a genius at work here, but that person is absolutely, positively 100 percent not Clayton Rowland Cowman Jr. We know this because not only did he call the police after somebody robbed him of cash and dope, but then, just in case there was still any doubt, he repeatedly called a narcotics […]

Sir, You’ve Got The Wrong Number. But Officer, You’ve Got The Wrong Idea

Jeff Lytle may or may not have just learned a very important lesson. I say may or may not because when you start off from a position of such overt yet preventable dipshittery, the capacity for learning is by no means guaranteed. The arrest came after Lytle tried to reach out to a hitman named […]

You Have Some Weed? You Have Two Years?

Good news: Alvin Cross Junior doesn’t have to worry about being on probation anymore. Bad news: Because he’s going back to prison. Prosecutors said Cross’ probation officer received a text from Cross asking, “You have some weed?” Probation officers and drug agents raided Cross’ home and found a bag of cocaine. Cross plead guilty to […]

When The Police Tell You You Have The Wrong Number, They’re Probably Right

And now, today’s reminder to always make sure you’re calling the right person. Yes, police do like prostitutes, but not usually in the way you’re intending, Mr. Pimp Guy. Police in Middletown, Conn., arrested a man and woman after the couple allegedly called an on-duty police officer and offered up a prostitute. According to police, […]

If Beth Gets A Snuggy As A Wedding Present, We All Know Why

Here’s another example of what could happen if you text the wrong number, and you’re…really dumb. Your exchange could get put up on a blog for all to see. At first I thought this was made up, but I don’t think someone could make up this amount of dumb. it continued the next day! What […]

You’re Gonna Score Me Some Drugs? Wow, What A Trooper! Oh Wait, You Really Are A Trooper

Let’s start today by adding this fellow to the wrong number files. Yes, Aaron Sartin. The police probably do have lots of drugs hanging around. But unless you luck into a corrupt one, they generally get them from guys like you, not sell them to guys like you. The Nebraska State Patrol said that one […]