You’re Still Weird If You Wear Two Different Colours, Though

Online shoe seller Zappos tests out selling 1 shoe at a time, not a pair
The headline makes this sound strange, but it really isn’t. The idea is to better accommodate people with issues like amputations or different sized feet, which is pretty cool. It’s the sort of thing even I might use because of my busted up ankle. If I could easily get one shoe half a size bigger than the other in the same style, it could make things worlds easier on shoe shopping day. I still have no idea how people conveniently buy shoes online, but this is something.

Zappos is trying out new ways to sell shoes: allow shoppers to buy a single shoe at a time or purchase a pair in two different sizes.
The tests, which started Tuesday, are aimed at amputees, those with differing foot sizes and others who have been left out by the footwear industry, which has sold shoes in pairs and in the same size for decades.
Zappos said shoppers have been asking for the new options for years, but the requests grew stronger in 2017 when it launched its Zappos Adaptive site, where it sells clothing and shoes that are easier to put on or take off for people with ranging abilities.
The company, which is owned by online shopping giant Inc., said it’s working with six brands on the test, including Converse, New Balance and Nike.

Reese’s Pieces

The Reese McGuire public masturbation case has been resolved. It actually wound up over the summer, but this is me we’re dealing with here and I’m not always the quickest at getting to these things.

Toronto Blue Jays catcher Reese McGuire has pleaded no contest to a disorderly conduct charge — a second-degree misdemeanour — and paid fines totalling $500 US stemming from a February incident in Florida.
His Tampa-based lawyer, Wes Trombley, confirmed the plea Monday and said the case was resolved last week.
McGuire originally faced an indecent exposure charge after deputies were dispatched to a shopping centre parking lot in Dunedin on Feb. 7 following reports that a man sitting inside an SUV was exposing himself, according to a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office news release.

He was charged with a misdemeanour count of exposure of sexual organs, was given a notice to appear in court and was not taken to jail.

Do This, Don’t Do That, Can’t You Read The Sign?

This one contains exactly what it says on the tin…er…make that the can. Or perhaps the bottle. Could be the frosty mug, too. Those sometimes have things printed on them.
Drunk driver arrested after crashing into ‘Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over’ sign

A North Port man was arrested for DUI Sunday after crashing his car into a digital county sign board reading ‘Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over.’

According to the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office, Bounty Cheramy, 22, was arrested after deputies found him near the turned over sign in a damaged Mazda on Tamiami Trail.
Cheramy, reportedly, told deputies he was on the phone with a friend when he hit something, but was unsure of what he had hit.

Police say that he failed a series of sobriety tests, including the one where he blew a .166 in the who has the lowest blood alcohol content contest.

He has been charged with DUI and causing damage to property.

How Do You Almost Make The Presidential Debate Watchable?

You add Weird Al and autotune, that’s how.

I watched maybe five minutes of that “shitshow” on Tuesday night and the one question I had was who do I want to punch in the face more, everyone on that stage for being just the most insufferable childish assholes or me for not making better use of that five minutes?

People Are Putting Masks In The Microwave? People Are Putting Masks In The Microwave

I would very much like to tell you all that I am surprised to learn that people have been accidentally setting fires by putting their masks in the microwave to sterilize them, but that would be a lie. What does surprise me, however, is that the sort of person who would do a thing like that is somehow smart enough not to be part of the anti-mask crowd.

The fire marshal is also warning people not to use a microwave to sterilize face masks or other personal protective equipment. Pegg says microwave ovens are not designed to heat cloth materials, so there is a risk of the mask overheating and catching fire.

Betts says he is not aware of any fires caused by microwaves and masks in Ontario, but says it has been an issue in the United States and United Kingdom.

Stop Or I’ll Say Stop Again

Am I the only one to whom this makes zero sense?

The future of social circles is on the bubble and visitors to nursing homes in “hot zones” like Toronto, Peel Region and Ottawa are being restricted because of the rapid, record-setting spread of COVID-19 as the province injects more cash into long-term care.
Premier Doug Ford said the change in the visitor policy starting Monday follows fears the virus could again rush through nursing homes like a “brush fire,” while his chief medical officer said too many people are ignoring his guidance to limit close contact with others to 10 people, including members of their own household.
“We’re concerned about that,” Dr. David Williams said Tuesday. “We’re looking at that again to say, ‘can people be trusted to keep it to 10? Do we have to reduce it a little bit more?”
“I can see by the numbers, people, it does matter,” he chided after the Ministry of Health reported Ontario’s new COVID-19 cases fell to 554 on Tuesday from an all-time high of 700 the previous day, with four more deaths.

To be clear, the part that gets me isn’t the limiting of visitors to care settings in hot zones. I’m all aboard with that. What I’m having trouble with is this gathering limit business that Dr. Williams is on about. He’s saying, basically, that because people can’t be trusted to follow the rules, that we need newer, tighter rules.

Actually, Doc, what we need is for people to start enforcing the rules we already have. These hefty fines I keep hearing about, where are they? An education first approach was fine for a while, but it’s been nearly seven months of this now. If at this point people still don’t understand the situation we’re in, when are they ever going to get it? We’re beyond education here. It’s time to start making up for COVID-related municipal revenue shortfalls and paying for infrastructure projects. Simply juggling some numbers around and calling what you come up with a rule isn’t going to do shit unless there are real, tangible consequences tied to it. the only people who care about the new rules are the people who are already following the current ones. Nobody else is changing their behaviour because of a gentle scolding. If you’re truly serious about change and compliance, stop with the dainty pats on the head and get to the stiff kicks in the wallet.
Ontario considers shrinking social circles and tightens rules for nursing home visits in COVID-19 hot zones

Drinkin’ And Huggin’ And Kissin’ And Spittin’

Notwithstanding the way he’s approaching the back to school plan, I stand by what I said a few months ago. The Doug Ford that we’ve gotten during the pandemic is a much better Doug Ford than the regular Doug Ford. He’s also a pretty amusing Doug Ford, and not for the usual reasons (mockery, ridicule, etc).
The top 12 Doug Ford quotes from Ontario’s pandemic press briefings

His description of ragers
We all know Doug Ford’s brother Rob liked to party, and it seems based on how Doug now describes parties that the duo may have seen some pretty bonkers nights in their earlier years.
The premier has been talking a lot about social gatherings lately, referring to a few of them as “wild backyard parties where people are drinking, hugging, kissing, spitting, every other thing they can possibly think of” on Sept. 17.
In the same briefing, he called organized weddings at banquet halls that are following health and safety measures far, far different than the “free -for-all parties where everyone is going hog wild swinging off the trees and everything,” which are apparently a thing that some miscreants in Ontario are hosting these days.
On Sept. 18, he again mentioned crazy party antics like “hugging and kissing and swinging off the trees and spittin’ and everything else.”
Definitely does not sound like my kind of party, COVID or not.

Pretty sure this one is my favourite, although I somehow missed the bits about swinging from trees when I heard it originally. How in the hell did none of those make it into any of the reports I saw or read? It’s even better now, and I wasn’t sure that was possible.

Part of the reason it’s so funny to me is that it reminds me of Carin and all of the times she’s described an angry person as “hissin’ and spittin'”. I think that one may have been handed down from her dad, but I’m not certain.

Speaking of things that remind me of people, this one kind of sounds like me.

Oh yeah, and about those yahoos — the streetracing ones, specifically — Ford had some tough words to offer them, which ended up making viewers crack up a little.
“If we weren’t so backlogged on MRIs, I’d send you to the MRI to get your brain scanned, because I just don’t think there’s anything in there,” he near-shouted on Sept. 21.

I laughed out loud at that. It was just so unexpected.

Feel free to keep the entertainment coming, Doug. But please do also take some time to realize that capping gathering limits at 10 people while allowing class sizes of up to 30 students plus staff doesn’t make much sense and is not an apples and oranges comparison. It’s more like comparing apples to smaller, younger apples. And it doesn’t do anyone any good to have those small apples crammed much too closely together so that they can bring apple scab home and infect all of the larger, older apples around them with it.

Two Important Questions About Online Oktoberfest

  1. Are we calling the kickoff event the Tapping of the Keys or the Typing of the Keg?
  2. When one of the event streams malfunctions, should we all sing “I’m Frozen”?

I wish I could take full credit for that last joke, but most of it has to go to the well lubricated fellow in my vicinity at an Oktoberfest themed event 20 some odd years ago who unintentionally made my night by loudly belting that out when “Ein Prosit” started.

On a serious note, I’m not sure how well a mostly online fest is going to go since the whole idea is to have thousands of people come together to enjoy a bunch of giant parties, but I guess they have to try something. I wish them well. Hopefully by next year things are a bit more normal.

Urine My Hallway. Why?

I can’t help but wonder if, after the successful completion of this mission, it was this person who then made his way to Guelph and shat in that dishwasher the other week.
Someone broke in to Norfolk County home and dumped urine in foyer: police

They say at least one suspect broke into the home in Waterford early Monday morning before pouring what they describe as a large quantity of urine in the front foyer.
They say nothing else was taken from the home.

Yes, Waterford. It seems whoever this is has a sense of humour.