Bear With Me, Kids

It should be noted before continuing to read this post, I am running on roughly 18 minutes of sleep… and those 18 minutes were on a commuter train… Let’s Go!

An odd little metaphore for life that I saw this morning that probably only occurs to those of us who are currently deprived of sleep, or those who have nothing better to do than to read more in to things that is really there. Since currently I fall in to both, I’ll share this with you.

This morning I was attempting to travel down town Toronto on a Go Train which in the mornings are just a mess due to all the commuters going back and forth to work.

To board the train, you have to go upstairs from the terminal on to a platform. On this particular day the train had stopped in a mannor to which right outside the doorway to the staircase to the platform was one of the doors to ONE of the cars on this train. As I walked on to the platform and looked on to the train and saw hundreds of people jammed in to this ONE car, most of them having no seats of course and having to stand. I decided this was not worth my aggrivation as, like I”ve already stated, I was running on NO sleep.

So I walked by the door knowing that there were probably more places to get on that wouldn’t involve me having to stand pressed against a large burly man that had not seen a stick of SpeedStick in 4 years and a woman screaming in to her cell phone “SELL! SELL DAMN YOU!”

I walked no more than FIFTEEN FEET to the VERY NEXT DOOR and got on. There SEVEN people in this car. I grabbed a seat comfortably on my own as I wasn’t in a particularly social mood and waited. As we waited for the train to leave I would periodically look out the window and watch more and more people pile in to that car because there was a door right there.

“How the hell is this a metaphore, you crazy cracker?” you’re probably asking. Well let me explain.

It took me a grand total of 19 seconds and 14 footsteps to go to the next door and get a comfortable seat and have an enjoyable ride to my destination. Those who saw an open door 9 inches from the stairs and nearly shit themselves over the convenience, conversely, all stood together in one large grumpy, frustrated, upset mob.

Those in life who are willing to do just the smallest bit more are those that seem to get through life happier. Was it really that hard to see that there was already more people in that car than it could handle and they were all upset about it. Was it that hard to walk to the next door which was no more than 15 feet away? Of course not. It was by no means any kind of inconvenience to take this very minimal amount of effort and walk to the next door, and I was rewarded with a seat by myself and a quiet ride while everyone who took the easiest possible solution were all granted the opportunity to surround themselves with their own kind and be as pissed off and frustrated as they’d like to be.

Those who consistantly do the very minimal but sometimes important little extra things seem to be the ones that get through life that much more enjoyably. We should probably all take a page from these people. This morning I took a page from their book, and I’m quite glad I did.

More later, after some coffee perhaps.

Sunday

Yes, I know today is Monday but since most of the stuff I’m going to talk about here took place yesterday, the title works. Who’s site is it, anyway?

Sorry for not getting anything up here since Saturday by the way. Just wasn’t into it yesterday and since nothing really happened, I figured rather than tell you all about my day again I’d just keep my mouth shut and let you all enjoy Sunday either elsewhere or skimming the archives for memories of Sunday’s that have come before. Besides, the most productive things I did yesterday were the dishes and some cooking, neither of which are much fun to read about I’m sure.

I managed to catch parts of the Grey Cup game last night, looked like a pretty solid game from what I managed to see. I’m happy Edmonton won especially after how Toronto was robbed by Montreal in the Eastern final last week. I had an East against West bet with somebody that I lost because of the outcome but I’m happy to part with that 5 bucks because in the end, justice was served.

As for Survivor Series, can’t say it was horrible, but I’m not going to call it a blow-away show either. Honestly I’m going to have to watch it again to get a better feel for it. I kept nodding off throughout the whole thing because of a serious lack of sleep over the last few days. I caught pretty much everything but I just wasn’t in a clear state of mind at the time so it wouldn’t be fair to either praise or come down overly hard on it just yet. I will say this however, that Smackdown 5 on 5 match sucked a long, hard, juicy fat one. Even though the right team ended up winning, the match was just put together so poorly that none of that even mattered and they didn’t really get anybody over any stronger, other than maybe Cena. Granted putting Cena over strong in the match was really important, but they really dropped the ball on the Bob Holly thing. Getting him DQ’d in the first 30 seconds after hyping up the confrontation between he and Lesnar for so long was just a bad move. I hate those quick elimination spots, they accomplish nothing other than making guys look either stupid or weak, and when they’re done so quickly like they were last night it makes things even worse. I understand part of it is a time thing, but pushing people forever as tough guys and then having them get pinned by 1 move just makes no sense at all. And what was there to be gained from having Lesnar tap out again? It won’t lead to anything serious for Benoit, those kind of things never do. Sure there might be a feud but I can’t see Benoit winning it, he never does. Maybe I’ll write up a more detailed thoughts piece once I’ve had a chance to watch it more thoroughly for all of the wrestling people who read this, or maybe I won’t. Time will tell I guess.

One other thing I wanted to mention. Yesterday marked a month of us hit counting the site. Just for the sake of interest, as of this writing, we have had exactly 1572 people visit this thing. Thanks to all of you, especially all of the people who keep coming back. Sure that number might seem pretty small to some people, but I’m impressed with it, I had no idea that so many people cared what Matt and I thought about anything.

Ok, I think that’s all for now. I’ll try to put something together for later and I think Matt is back today so hopefully he’ll have some fun stories to tell.

Later all.

Musing

I’m not really sure why but I just got thinking about that Puppetry Of The Penis show that’s been touring around the world the last couple years. If you don’t know what that is, it’s these 2 guys that use their penises to create things and do what could best be described as stupid human tricks. That whole concept weirds me out. I mean it’s one thing to figure out that you can do things like that, but the first guy to realize it had to not only tell the other guy, but also get him to admit that he could do it too, and then convince him that if they just put their heads together, (oh gees, that wasn’t even intentional,) that they could make some good money by traveling around showing people that they are masters of dick trickery. Maybe I’m missing something. Ok, I probably am because they’ve got piles of money and even a DVD of their act now.

I wonder how many people went to see the Vagina Monologues because they thought it was a ventriloquist act.

I was watching Cops tonight and I saw a commercial for the 11 o’clock news where they were talking about an elderly man who had just finished walking across Canada. We would find out why at 11. I bet he just went out to get some milk from the store and got lost.

Speaking of Cops, we’ve got a Canadian version of that show called Serve And Protect. I swear that this show is all the stuff that they edit out of Cops. It’s the same idea, just without all of the action and excitement that makes Cops interesting. To give you an idea of just how completely lame Serve And Protect is, I saw one episode where they actually aired a routine traffic stop. I’m not making that up. They pulled a guy over, had him show his licence and registration, asked him how fast he was going, wrote him a ticket and then let him go. Wait, I’m not even sure if they even wrote him out a ticket at all. They did however ask him where he was heading, so fear not, the suspense factor was still in full effect.

God, Canadian TV just sucks. Other than the comedy and the news programming that is, we own America hands down there. It’s really cool too because sometimes the comedy and the news overlap, like whenever the Prime Minister is giving a speech. You have no idea how much fun it is to watch him on TV. The guy can’t speak either French or English competently but he’s the best option we have for a leader, has been for about 10 years now. The guy’s even more fun than watching Bush, because Bush just massacres the English language, Chretien is completely inept in both official languages.

Hmmm, not really sure how to end this post, wait, I’ve got it!

Posting By Request

Well, here we are. I was asked politely by our friend
Karine
to please post something, because she loves us and misses us when we’re not around, and because the lack of content today is making her head spin. Ok, so she actually said something along the lines of write something because I have nothing better to do than read this, but who’s keeping track? So just because she visits the site every day for some reason and even went so far as to link to us in something called “blogs I like” on her own site, I’ll post for her. I’ll warn you though, this is going to be the worst post ever, because not feeling well and going absolutely nowhere all day doesn’t really make for quality blog entertainment.

Let’s just start out by describing my day, and what it consisted of. I woke up this morning far earlier than I had planned to the forces of internal evil knocking on my stomach and telling me they wanted out. Not much fun, and it pretty much set the tone for where the rest of the day was heading.

Then I turned on the computer, checked my email, and then checked out the site here for comments and anything Matt may have posted while I was gone. I responded to the comments and then went to check our hit counter to see what kind of business we’d been doing around here. I was pretty impressed with you people as usual. All the hits are very much appreciated, no matter what Matt says about you guys, I like you all, even most of the dumb ones. After that I went and checked out the other blogs I usually take a look at every day, reading and commenting where required.

With all that out of the way and the running to the bathroom still in full swing I went and woke up my girlfriend to see if she’d do me the biggest favour ever and cover for me at the place I needed to be today. She said she could, and she did, so that was quite the good thing because the stuff I had to be doing didn’t really lend itself to spontaneous trips to the can.

Moving right along, I made myself a pot of soup and ate a granola bar while it cooked. Talked to the girlfriend about various things while this was going on. Then when the soup was finished I sat down to eat it and said goodbye to her as she left to do my job, since I’m a lazy prick and decided not to do it myself, er, um, because I was sick, oh yeah, that was it.

When I finished the soup I signed on to MSN for a bit to see who was on. Then I set about surfing the net for no other reason than I felt like it. I also picked off whatever email came in. Wow, this post is so stupid and I respect anybody who has stuck with it this long. Just remember that this is all Karine’s fault.

During the course of surfing the web and having MSN conversations with people, I also had to answer my phone a couple of times because it rang, which is usually the best excuse to answer the phone. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the running to the bathroom, because I sure couldn’t.

Eventually I decided that as long as I was home I might as well do productive things so I did a little bit of work on another project that I have on the go, which you’ll all be let in on shortly. Speaking of that, if you can write about music once a week, don’t forget to
email me.

As the day goes on I start to feel better, which makes me happy. Then my girlfriend returned to the house, which also made me happy. She actually got back just after I started writing this stupid post.

While talking to her about her day I started supper because we were both hungry. Didn’t have the energy to cook a big meal, so it was bacon and toast all around. Pretty good stuff.

Skip ahead a little ways and here I am, writing the rest of this post and watching the news. I also just got up and turned on some more heat, because it’s kind of cold in here.

Hey, they were just saying on the news that a U.S official says that the group fighting against the American occupation in Iraq, the one that’s been planning and carrying out all the bomb attacks, is a pretty small group of only about 5000 people. That kind of got me to thinking that if the States just wait things out a little while, the terrorists will eventually run out of suicide bombers, assuming that they don’t recruit any new ones and then they won’t have to worry about getting blown up anymore. Hey, it’s just a thought.

And so ends this horrible post. Remember, it’s all Karine’s fault, blame should be placed squarely on her. By the way, be sure to visit her blog, which you can find a link to in this post or in the pile of links on the right, because she uses titles for her posts now, and that’s pretty snazzy.

Wait, partial blame can also go to Matt, since he didn’t have anything to say today. Yes, Karine and Matt are both responsible for me having to inflict this on you all.

Steve Needs Your Help

Do you like music? Are you literate? Are you creative? Can you write things once a week that don’t completely suck? Well neither can I, but I need your help. I need 6 people who are seriously interested to send me an email at
sendstuffhere@rogers.com.

When you send me an email letting me know that you’re interested, I’ll write you back, give you the scoop on what all this is, what exactly I’d need from you and what you have to do to be part of something that could one day be quite a big thing. Remember, only write me about this if you’re serious and can write something once a week by a specific day on the subject of music. I don’t even care what kind of music it is. If you can speak indepth on the underground single string guitar and trombone scene, that’s fine. All I need are interested parties to help me out here. Thanks guys, it’s much appreciated.

The Movies, And Some Other Crap

Well hello there boys and girls. Haven’t seen me around much lately have you? Well I’m sorry, just been busy is all. Much love to Matt though for bringing the content as he always does and getting the comment boards happening. Good to see those things being put to good use, at least most of the time it’s good use. Let’s just call it reasonable use and leave it at that, how does that sound? Smashing? Fantastic then, let’s move on.

If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out
Blind Error,
now with snazzy new commenting features and super amazing hit counting action! By the way A Man, I had no idea that you were into that sort of thing, not that there’s anything wrong with that, Ha! But seriously, hit that link when you’re done with all of this, it’s worth your time. The man is a crazy nut, but a crazy nut who can write, even without a working B on his computer. The man’s insane!

Not sure what I can add to the Me For President saga, Matt seems to have handled that one just fine. But this goes out to all Americans, if you’re wanting your next President to be as dumb as your current one, I think you’ve found your candidate.

I should also note that I was shamed and humiliated on Monday night by of all people, my very own girlfriend who proved to me that she could piss and whistle Christmas tunes at the same time. I’m not sure if the physics are different for each gender since the peeing positions are different, or if it was just the fact that I was somewhat drunk at the time when I first tried the experiment, but I have been shown up and I’m not a happy man.

Ok, movies. I figured that what with all the talk about movies around here lately, it would only be right for me to chime in with some thoughts. My thoughts are pretty much this, I hate movies. Well not all movies, just most of what’s being passed to us as entertainment these days. A lot of it just plain doesn’t interest me and I don’t feel any sort of great need to go and watch most of what’s out there, even when it hits the video store. But more than that, I’m just not a fan of the movie theatre experience. By the way, before anybody starts jumping all over me, I spelled theatre right, that’s how it’s done in my country. But like I said, I don’t like movie theatres.

First of all, you have to pay 10 bucks just to get in the door to watch something that’s probably not going to be worth 10 cents. Then you have to buy food, which is another 6 bucks. I suppose you don’t have to buy food but I figure that if I’m going to be here, I may as well get something enjoyable for the money I’m spending. Then you get to your seat to watch your film of choice and they have the nerve to show you commercials. What the hell is that? I’m not talking about the coming attractions, that’s fine, it’s good to know what’s coming out so you know when not to come back. What I’m talking about are the ads for actual products. There’s absolutely no need for that, and every time I go to the show, it seems like there are more and more of them. I would have absolutely no problem with this if they were letting me in for free, but they aren’t. I’ve already paid $16 for the privelege of being here, you don’t need any sponsor support when your entire customer base have already given you assloads of money for the same reason. Let’s say that you can get 200 people into 1 theatre to watch a movie. I just pulled that number out of my ass, every place is different. So 200 people times 16 bucks plus multiple showings at that same rate. That all adds up to, um, quite a bit, my math sucks, I’m not even gonna try that. But I do know that it does add up to more money than I’ll probably see in my entire lifetime, and that’s just in one year, maybe even less. Not only that, but I don’t see why we need these commercials in the first place. They aren’t telling us anything new. They aren’t making us aware of anything we didn’t already know, other than how pissed off we are at having to sit through them. There is absolutely no need for the cute little coke cartoon. I was perfectly aware of the availability of CocaCola seeing as I just finished paying 4 bucks for a 37 gallon drumb of the stuff on my way in.

Ok, the commercials are over now and your movie begins, at the same time as somebody’s phone starts ringing or some jackass decides to be cute and start firing popcorn at your head. Wait, that’s video night with the family when I was a kid. Ok ok ok, it does happen at the movies too, and it drives me nuts. Why would somebody pay good money to come to a public place like this and then sit and talk loudly on the phone with somebody who they could have just gone and visited for free? And what is to be gained from throwing food at somebody, other than getting that person to be quiet, or getting your own ass kicked? Not much, but it happens.

I haven’t been to the movies in over a year and honestly, I’m not going back any time soon. When I do I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t be my own idea. It just isn’t any fun, even when you’re drunk. Just trust me on this one. Remember “Dude Where’s My Car?” Not even an afternoon of drinking could make that movie funny, and I can find humour in just about any situation.

Ok, this post is getting long and I have to get back to doing productive things now so I’ll end here. Comment at will, but if you’re looking for a place to start shit and be stupid this isn’t it. If you really insist on being an idiot somewhere, try
here.
Sorry man, couldn’t resist. It’s all in good fun.

Later all.

MSN Fun

This is a conversation I just had MSN not more than 15 minutes ago….
================================
me for president says: what will you be babbling about today on the ol’ vomitcomet?

matt says: probably how complete strangers add me to msn to ask me stupid questions.

me for president says: that wasn’t very funny. i hope you’re more funny on your page.

matt says: i’ll try my hardest just for you, you creepy little stranger.

me for president says: i’m not a stranger at least your not a stranger i read you all the time on your blog but lately you and steve have bothsucked and been boring get better and fix it

matt says: some punctuation probably would have helped in there somewhere.

me for president says: w/e. you guys used to be cool but not anymore

me for president says: now all you do is talk about hockey and stuff that no one cares about

matt says: we’re from canada dude and so are most of the people that read us… and the rest don’t complain like whiney bitches with skinned knees

me for president says: what difference does it make where your from bitch?

matt says: oh man… are we done? normally i only tollerate stupidity like that from people i know, and you don’t drop in to that category.

me for president says: thank god

matt says: indeed

me for president says: start being cool again or i won’t read your guys stuff no more

matt says: well. it’s obvious you want to like us… so that’s always good. i’ll work on “being cool” but i haven’t mastered in the first 20 years of my life, not much hope for the next 20. sometimes the truth hurts. we’re just not cool enough for you.

me for president says: no kidding

matt says: if you’ll excuse me, i can think of much easier and less irritating ways to waste my time than by having this conversation..

(me for president has been blocked)
================================
Now don’t ask me if there was actually a point that this guy had for adding me because I didn’t really see one unless he really did have nothing better to do than to tell me to “get cool again”. I mean a simple drop on the comment board or an e-mail would have sufficed… but to each his own I suppose.

I didn’t post the conversation I had yesterday where another total stranger added me and simply said “scarey movie licked horse balls and so do you” and then blocked me again. Surely you people have better things to do than criticize someone elses opinion with crude name calling. I mean to debate over the movie bringing decent points to the table is one thing… but to simply express that someone enjoys animal reproductive organs as an arguement is somewhat stupid and doesn’t leave much reason to respect the person voicing these opinions.

I guess there really was no reason for the post other than for my own amusement. And really, that’s what this page is all about. But you can all know this. While I’m more than willing to sit and debate and have a conversation over how good a movie was or how bad a cd or song was, I find those of you who do nothing more than write to say “you suck” to be amusing and don’t give it another thought. Go back out for recess kiddies. For the rest of you who seem to bring decent points to the table, continue to do so as it’s always great to get some feedback whether it agrees or disagrees with my own opinion.

I’m out……… FOR NOW!

That 70’s Show

Last night I watched an episode of That 70’s Show that was probably the funniest television show I’ve seen in a very, very long time.

It’s hard to explain why the show’s been so successful. When it first started out, it was a new idea – a new concept. A show based around a different era that kids would like because it was one of those teenage kinda shows, but that adults could appreciate because they grew up in that time period.

In the last few seasons, however, it’s become less about the time period and more about the characters. Don’t get me wrong, I still thoroughally enjoy the show. It just seems that it’s changed its focus.

In the early days, it was largely about the time period. There were, of course, stories relating to the characters but there was always a strong backdrop with something to do with the time period that the show is set in.

Lately, that has become less true. While there are still references to the 70’s, they are not as frequent and not as strong.

You can also see a definite attempt on the part of the writers to not let “Kelso” overshadow the entire show. Ashton Kutcher’s success outside of the show has been overwhelming in the last little while and there are new fans tuning in just to see him. You can tell it’s been a conscious effort not to have the Kelso character go in to overkill. It really is a a great character that alwasy brings a laugh but I think if he was given more time and lines on the show the character would be overkilled and would become just annoying.

The show is funnier now, even than when it started out and the writers deserve a lot of credit for keeping the show fresh. It has the potential to become a long term success similar to a show like Friends. While I’m personally not a huge fan of Friends, you have to give the behind the scenes people there credit for keeping the show funny but at the same time, knowing when it’s time to quit before it goes stail.

I’ve heard rumour that this will be the last season of That 70’s Show though nothing ahs been confirmed. I would hope this is not the case as the show is still getting bigger and bigger and it’s far too soon to snip the wings off of this one.

More later on. Maybe even from Steve.

Charity Work Is So Rewarding

Good day all. Just thought I’d get on here and lay out a plug for our friend Armagideon Time over at Blind Error.

The guy now has his own message board and hit counter with a little help from yours truely.

We here at the VomitComet would like to congratulate A-Time on moving forward with his operation. Head on over there and check it out. He’s got some pretty good writing and some GREAT links. I think you’d have fun over there. Just make sure you come back here.

A-Time. we salute you and your alternative life-style. And by the way, Scarey Movie 3 ruled.

Later, all