Wonder No More

Lately on the comment boards there has been a lot of activity, a lot of which has involved a mysterious guy by the name of Gee. I’m sure that a lot of you have your thoughts on who he is and I think it may have even been mentioned once or twice on the boards before but now I’m here to prove it. So now, once and for all proof that Gee = Nick. Observe.

This morning when I got out of bed and turned on the computer I swung by the site here to check on the comment boards as I normally do but on this day I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to find. Under Matt’s post about the boy with the new arm penis I found the following new comments. First I present you with this. Pay special attention to who is doing the talking here and then look long and hard at the name and date stamp at the end and see who is supposed to have written it.

Gee, come on, now. Stick to the subject. It’s about creating a new body part and such. Gee, stop reading between the lines. Matt didn’t put it there just so he can feel good about himself for putting it there. You just want to create contraversy here. Matt didn’t do that because of him being gay. Gee, just so you know, back when you tried to take Joe and I out from that ‘organization’, you didn’t finish the job. We’re still here.
Gee, in closing, I HAVE CONTROLLED YOU BEFORE, SO I CAN CONTROL YOU AGAIN!!!
Gee | 02.11.04 – 1:59 am |

That’s funny because I know a writing style when I see one and that was undoubtedly Nick. And if the writing isn’t enough I want to mention that I’m well aware of who Joe is, and he’s somebody very close to Nick. And don’t forget that Gee never uses the word “I” at any time. But yet somehow Gee is supposed to have written that as a threat to himself? Methinks that something doth smell rotten in Denmark. But wait, this gets better. Again, pay special attention to the style in which the comment is written and then even closer attention to the posting name at the end.

That was Gee (that’s me) who accidently had made a fool of himself. The thing is, Nick and Gee are close friends. Nick pulled one out on Gee, making him look like a fool.
And, in conclusion, I made Gee look so foolish that in this instance, Gee can be controlled.
nick | 02.11.04 – 2:02 am |

So our hero, realizing that he’s just profoundly fucked up 3 minutes earlier tries to make things right but ends up fucking up again, and doing so twice I might add. Notice that he started off in full on Gee mode and then switched back to Nick again right at the end. Now if that doesn’t scream Nick trying to work the boards then I’m not really sure what does. But now watch as he finally gets his shit together, well almost together anyway. At 2:04 AM, Gee finally returns to write as himself, or does he?

Nick, so what if you had decided to pull a fast one on Gee…typing as if you were Gee all along?
Now, one thing that won’t happen, is that THIS ISN’T THAT ‘ORGANIZATION’. I haven’t finished the job? Well, Nick. You’ve just asked for it.
Go Gee Go
GEe | 02.11.04 – 2:04 am |

Um…why is Gee’s name suddenly spelled wrong? I think we all know why but just in case we don’t, I’ll explain something to you. Our commenting system remembers who you are so you don’t have to keep filling in your information every time you want to say something. A handy little feature, one that I quite appreciate. And given the fact that Nick and Gee are supposed to be entirely different people it makes no sense that A they would post as each other by coincidence and B that Gee’s name would suddenly have capital letters in the wrong place at the exact moment that Nick realized just how deep he’d dug the fucking grave I’m tossing him in right now.

So I guess all that’s left to say now is go Gee go, and take that fucking idiot Nick with you.

Ok, smart people of the comment boards unite, and have a blast, I think you all know what to do here.

Help Wanted

Over on Salty Ham in the music zone we’ve got a new section that has just been launched and we’re looking for people to write there. It’s a classic album reviews section where you can feel free to write reviews on any album ever made no matter how old or what style it is. If you love it or hate it, here’s your chance to tell the world about it. If you’d be interested in contributing then shoot me an email at sendstuffhere@rogers.com and let me know. I’ll write you back and tell you how the process works and what you have to do to be considered for a writing position.

We’re also looking for weekly columnists in music as well as for people to review new albums. The address above will work for that too so feel free to use it.

Thanks for any response to this, you’d be helping us out a great deal and you’ll be giving yourself the chance to have your writing displayed in a public setting for all to see.

Just Say No

I come across some really weird things when I’m looking for topics for my radio shows but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like this, which is completely true by the way, you absolutely cannot write stuff like this. I also want to say that even though I’ve been known to drink heavily at times, I can’t say that I’ve ever had the urge to do this, especially not more than once.

Dog rape attempt goes astray
From correspondents in Bangkok
February 4, 2004

A THAI man was mauled when he drunkenly tried to rape a dog which fiercely resisted his advances, news reports said yesterday.

Police in Samut Prakan province, on Bangkok’s southeastern fringes, told the Thai Rath newspaper that Toryip Rawang, 33, had been drinking heavily with
friends before Monday’s incident.

Toryip was questioned by police after residents of the area notified local authorities when they saw the bloodied man walking along a road.

He told police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and “acting sexy” and pulled it into some tall grass by the roadside.

But the dog resisted, biting him on his face, chest and arms before he gave up his attempt and tried to stagger home.

Under further questioning Toryip admitted to previously raping three dogs while he was under the influence of alcohol.

He told police he always became aroused when he drank heavily but did not have enough money to pay a prostitute.

Police said Toryip had been given a rabies shot and was not charged with a crime, but he had fled his home in an apparent effort to avoid public ridicule.

Cool Story Of The Day

I heard this on the radio again this morning and I think it’s definitely noteworthy.

Scientists in Russia have successfully grown a new dick for a Russian, teenage boy. They graphed the skin and allowed it to grow off of his bicep.(try explaining that in the summer). The graph was a complete success as, miraculously, the body excepted the cells and allowed it to grow.

Last week the doctor’s were able to remove it from the arm and put it in proper place and it is responding in the same way that any other aritifically grown manhood would (however that is). Word is that it is as gooas normal and he’ll go on to live a normal life. Things will be good for the boy as well.

Oh by the way. If anyone is curious as to what happened to the boy’s original one-eyed Johnson, the reporters were good enough to tell us. It was fried clean off of his body when he urinated on what he quickly found out was an active electric fence. Keep that in mind, gents, next time you figure there’s no harm in pissing on someone elses property.

So Tired

Hey, Everyone.
Well the updates have been few and far between just as we said they would be but I didn’t expect it to be like this. At leat not on my own end.

I got back from my Montreal trip on Monday afternoon and went in to work on Tuesday. That was a day of catching up on what I’d missed Friday and Monday. On Wednesday I woke up at about 3:00am with a sever case of projectile vomit. I didn’t go in to work on Wednesday as the day got progessively worse with chills and some lovely head aches. Thursday was not much better so I stayed in bed most of the day again. On Friday I got my shit back together and went back in to work and tried to resume a normal life.

It was then that I noticed my Internet Explorer was royally buggered and wouldn’t let me on. It’s not even like it won’t find sites, the program itself just will not open. So last night I got MSN Explorer up and running and I’m using that as my browser now as I still can’t get I E running. So that’s where I’ve been.

Tonight is the NHL Skills Competition. I love this stuff. It shows the players in kind of a laid back atmosphere just showing what they can do and having fun. I’ll be havin’ some people over for some beer and pizza just to kinda enjoy it. Tomorrow is the actual game. I’m not always a huge fan as in the actual games I like a bit of intensity but it should still be enjoyable. I’m sure I’ll still watch.

Only 3 more days until I jet off to Sweden for a 3 day competition. We’ll be there for 7 days but most of it will be spent getting over jet-lag before the competition. The day in between the end of the competition and the trip home will be spent in Copenhagen Denmark checking out the Karlsburg Brewery. Hang over on a trans-atlantic flight. Should be great.

Hopefully I’ll get back with something more later. If not…. well don’t be surprised.

Just One Of Those Things

I was watching a bit of the morning news today when I got up and I happened to catch a segment called Your Say. It’s the part of the show where they read some of their viewer mail on the air and give the results of the daily poll question. The question of the day had something to do with something that happened at the Super Bowl so I’m told, something about a boob, I don’t think it was a very widely publicized incident. But enough about that, that’s a whole other post for another day. What they wanted to know is whether we the people thought that the worldwide titty flash would spike record sales for either of the people involved. I don’t even remember the results because as they were flashing them up on the screen something hit me, something I’d never thought about before.

Along with the percentages for yes and no, there were a number of people who voted for undecided. My question then is this. If you have no opinion, why bother voting? It’s not like someone’s holding a gun to your head saying “answer the question even if you say I don’t know,” it’s a web poll, you can choose whether or not you want to participate. Think about it. In order to let the entire world know that you have no feelings one way or the other on a given subject you actually have to take the time to log onto the internet, punch up the website and then vote in the poll. And it’s not even like you’re going to get your name mentioned on the show, all of those polls are completely anonimous. No names given. You’re just lumped in there with all the other losers who can’t make up their minds and wanna tell us all about it.

I wouldn’t even care if it was a telephone survey and they just asked you a bunch of questions, you agreed to participate in that and sometimes you just don’t have an answer. But nobody’s forcing you to vote here so why not just spend the time it would take to do that to I dunno, get a life or something? I just don’t understand people sometimes. We all have this compultion to be heard, even if we have absolutely nothing to say. And if you need some proof to back that statement up, just think about how popular blogs are. Ok, I think I’ve said too much now. More later.

Where’d Everyone Go?

Well look who’s back… Ya. I know you were hoping for Steve but it’s just me.

I’m back from Montreal and weighing in one gold medal heavier. The Championship game turned out to be a good one for the very reason that this tournament in unique from others. The Men’s Final pitted the defending American Champions against the defending Canadian Champions. Obviously, the Canadian side was going to win and the final score turned out to be Ontario 6 Pennsylvania 3. You just don’t get that at Canadian or American Championships as you only play against those in your country. These “Open” or “Invitational” tournaments are great for that as you see the top states and provinces go at it for North American Bragging Rights. For anyone who’s interested the final standings (or at least the top 4) after the tournament were.

Gold: Ontario
Silver: Pennsylvania
Bronze: Nova Scotia
4th: New Jersey.

On the women’s side…. well I don’t know. I hardly watched any of it. It was two American teams in the final though and that was… not cool. I believe the final game saw Michigan take on Colorado. I did see the very ending. The two teams after going head to head went to center court, shook hands and together delivered a rousing USA chant in Montreal. (Canadian soil for you Geography buffs). If that doesn’t get the Canadian women motivated for the Olympics, nothing will. It would make me sick to be sitting in the stands watching as my American peers walked in to my building and kicked my ass bad enough that Canada wasn’t even represented in the finals. Then to watch them deliver that little message. If Canada doesn’t show better next time then there’s something wrong for sure. I mean kudos to the Americans for winning it all… but they’ve left an impression on the Canadians… or at least I hope they have.

Well I’m back for just a little more than a week. I leave next Tuesday for some Scandanavian touring. I’ll be there for about a week and will suffer a few days of jetlag upon my return. But hey, Steve told you things may slow down for a bit. But I’m sure I’ll have lots to say upon return from that. I mean hell. It’s the other side of the world, god dammit. Maybe I’ll go visit Karine! haha. What’s for dinner there, friend? Have a cold one on ice for me if you don’t mind.

Well, not much else to say for right now. I’ll get back… sometime.

This Post Has No Title. Wait, Yes It Does.

If I ever meet the guy who invented bubble gum flavoured toothpaste I’m gonna hoof him square in the sack. And before you ask, yes, I am in a good mood today. The fact that I’m going to limit myself to a single kick to the nuts on a guy who had the nerve to unleash something so horrid on all of humanity should tell you that I’m feeling rather jovial at this time. Seriously, this stuff is some of the worst tasting shit that you could ever hope to inflict on yourself. There really needs to be a warning label on tubes of the stuff that says “NOT FOR USE BY ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF 7,” or perhaps one that says “WARNING: PRODUCT TASTES LIKE ASS”

It’s not even just that it tastes bad, but it’s for how long it tastes bad, an well, pretty much the whole experience of using it now that I stop and think about it. The first thing you’ll notice when you realize that you’re using bubble gum toothpaste is the flavour which as we’ve already covered here isn’t what any sane person would call good. This is followed closely by the realization that your mouth, rather than feeling clean and fresh as you would expect when brushing your teeth, actually is developing a nice healthy coating of dirty feeling film. And try as you might, nothing you can do is going to get that taste out of your mouth for a good half an hour or more. I’m about 27 minutes and 3 glasses of water removed from my last cleaning and every sip of water still tastes like gum, each one more than the last. I just stopped and ate a little bag of those fruit snack things and a couple of peanut butter cookies and I think the gum taste is almost gone though I’m not entirely sure and I don’t want to declare victory too early. And I just realized something else. Now that I’ve eaten all that candy, I should probably brush my teeth again. God damnit! I just can’t win.

And to make matters worse, I have to use bubble gum toothpaste every day until next Friday afternoon. It’s all they have at the place where I’m staying right now. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s all they have, it’s free and I’m getting paid to be here. So kind of like trying to figure out Matt’s spelling and back translate it into English, the torture continues.

Updates

This is just a quick note to sort of explain the lack of updates lately. It pretty much boils down to this. Matt and I are both busy people. I can’t really speak for him but I know that he’s got a lot going on right now.

But I can speak for me so I can say for sure that right now I’ve got a lot going on. I’ve been pretty busy lately with things and now I’ve got some pretty big personal problems to deal with so updates might be few and far between around here for the next while. And no, personal problems isn’t a code phrase for I’m in rehab, rehab is for quitters. I’ve just got a lot to deal with right now is the thing. I’ll post things up here when I can, whenever the mood strikes but don’t be surprised if it’s days between posts for the next while.

In the meantime feel free to rip the ever loving hell out of each other on the comment boards or just use them to talk to each other and maybe even get along. Just remember that we’re not going away, it’s just that this site is a hobby and sometimes it has to take a back seat to real life, as much as that sucks sometimes.

So until we talk again I’ll leave you with this.

Q. How do you turn a lawn mower into a snowblower?
A. Give the bitch a shovel.

That’s me, doing my part to promote equality.