Meet My New Heroes

Last Updated on: 7th October 2013, 12:03 pm

Whoever the men are who invented
they’re super geniuses.

According to the site, the Beer Belly as they’re calling it can hold up to 80 ounces of liquid, and looks and feels exactly like a real beer gut, other than all the hair and stretch marks I guess.

The marketing pitch is pretty convincing too, since the idea is that you can strap this bad boy on, fill it up, go to a concert or a sporting event and avoid paying an arm, a leg and a small Mexican child every time you get thirsty. At $34.95, I figure it’ll pay for itself in no time flat. Think about it. At a lot of places, the hotdogs are $34.95, which leaves a lot of us broke and thirsty with no way around it.

But as cool as this whole thing is, I should probably throw a few tips out there because once human beings get involved, it’s only a matter of time until a fine idea is ruined forever.

  • Don’t use this thing in places you go to frequently and expect to get away with it. People will probably recognize you and wonder what the hell happened, especially when they see you out on the street much thinner before and after the fact.
  • Don’t drink and drive. I shouldn’t have to say that, but you know somebody’s gonna try it sooner or later.
  • As Carin says, “if you’re a woman, just don’t.”

But since I’m not a woman and drinking and driving really isn’t in the cards, if any of you have 35 bucks you don’t know what to do with, Christmas is coming up and I can think of at least 1 blog writing guy who wouldn’t object to seeing one of these under his tree.

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