It’s been kind of a slow day around here, so how about a random tasteless joke? A newly married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. “Do you have reservations?” inquires the receptionist. “Only one,” replies the groom. “She won’t take it up the ass.”
Monthly Archives: May 2008
That’s The Best He Can Come Up With?
Toronto Mayor David Miller hasannounced plansto ban shooting ranges and gun clubs because he thinks closing them down will help put an end to gun violence in the city. Of course he’s absolutely right, because history has unquestionably shown how dangerous Olympic athletes and gun collecting hobbyists have been to our existence over the years. …
Obey Your Thirst, Except When Riding A Horse!
I have so many questions about this story. Juliet Brown, 9, was riding a horse with her dad. She got thirsty, so they stopped and got a pop. When she opened it, the horse spooked, bucked her off and dragged her for a mile and a half. Not surprisingly, the poor kid died. So now …
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Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…
That’s a new one. Is it good enough to belong in the oompa loompas/Egypt-obsessed stranglers/drunken stuffed dog-screwers/teddy-bear plant stand shrines files? I’m not sure, but it’s weird. Picture this old guy in a convenience store buying some stuff. As he leaves, he gets ker smucked in the shoulder by a random yellow bag. It happens …
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Thanks For The Free Weed, Dumbasses
Dog misses planted drugs in Japan, customs embarrassed A customs agent hoping to test Narita airport’s sniffer dogs put 142 grams of cannabis into the side pocket of a randomly selected suitcase, officials said. “The dog couldn’t find it and the officer [then] forgot which bag he put it into,” a spokeswoman told journalists in …
Take That, Plastic Problem
After seeing this video, I got thinking about something I read the other day that could help a lot with all the plastic we produce. Daniel Burd, a 16-year-old kid, has founda couple of strains of bacteria that, when combined, can break down plastic! Yeah! Hopefully we won’t find out later that this could cause …
Dear Richard Peddie
Before you go spending gobs of money on another soccer team, could you do me a favour and work on getting a few other things done first? Things like sorting out the Leafs’ management situation or maybe making sure that the teams you already own are the kind of teams that have at least a …
I Think I’d Rather Be Humped
Police Blotter newspaper columns are some of the most entertaining and confusing things you’ll ever read, often leaving you with more questions than answers. One example of this springs immediately to mind, and now here’s another one out of what appears to be Lake Park, Florida, though Small Town Misfit is claiming Palm Beach. On …
You Ask, We Ask More
25 May, Sun, 14:43:10Google:is Cody Eugene Williams black Well how should I know? A better question is why do you care? Do you know a white Cody Eugene Williams and want to assure yourself that he hasn’t been getting funky with your car? Or, did you see a black guy giving your precious baby the …
Ben By Any Other Name Still Is Ben
I think Megan Jane Conroy needs to take some lessons from Ben, or is it Dan, Krull. I can’t imagine that many people mixing up his name. I know lots of Bens, and none of them say they’re called Dan a lot. I’d want to hear what he sounds like when he says his name. …
