Why Are Niqabs An Election Issue?

I have to ask, because I’d like a Conservative who honestly feels that this issue is one upon which our election should hinge and upon which the future of our entire country and indeed our very way of life hinges now to explain it to me in a way that makes sense. It seems important …

United Breaks Stomachs

A couple celebrating their anniversary got a lovely present to mark the occasion thanks to a United Airlines airplane cleaner who didn’t quite live up to his job description. A couple on their anniversary trip to Hawaii said they found a full barf bag in a blanket in the seat-back pocket in front of them, …

There She Is, Miss I Don’t Really Have Cancer

It’s been a while since we’ve posted one, but yes, people are still shaving their heads, pretending they have cancer and making good money doing it. Police arrested Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates, 23, of Bellefonte on Tuesday, and charged her with theft by deception and receiving stolen property.  Investigators said Weaver-Gates took money from events that …

Think Out…Buffering…Buffering…Side The…Buffering…

Who goes into Taco Bell expecting to find WiFi? For that matter, who goes into Taco Bell expecting to find food? I can’t answer that second one, but the answer to the first is apparently Amber Henson, who decided that the flaky internet access at one of the chain’s establishments in Oklahoma was grounds for …

Attention Kmart Shoppers. Check Out Our Current Brown Light Special

Why you would not only feel compelled to piss and shit in a box of security tags behind the counter at Kmart but then actually go ahead and do it is a mystery for somebody else to unravel, but what I would like to know is why, once you have determined that the above must …

Her Plan Was A Little Buggy

Some people have jewel theft down to a science. Quashanda J. Wolfe is not one of them. Records at the Kingsport Police Department state the incident occurred at approximately 11:20 Thursday morning. A loss prevention officer at the East Stone Drive store allegedly observed a female with wire cutters in the jewelry section.The suspect, later …

Next Time I Won’t Wear Pants, Officer

I think this might be one of the more straightforward, honest explanations for rubbing one or two or three out in your local Walmart I’ve seen. A Walmart worker told cops that a female customer reported that Bryant was acting “weird” in the men’s department. When the employee went to investigate, she noticed that Bryant …

You Say Potato, I Say Fire Alarm Worthy Toilet Emergency

Nope, I’ve got nothin’. Man Clogs Toilet With Potatoes, Pulls Fire Alarm to Get Help Quicker The man, who has not yet been identified, pulled the alarm at 7:48 a.m. Sunday at the Oakwood Apartments along the 8700 block of West Chester Pike in Upper Darby, police tell NBC10. According to authorities, for an unknown …

I’m Sorry, But If I Don’t Rob You I Won’t Be Able To Pay The Cab Fare It Took To Get Here

It’s sadly common to hear stories about a parent leaving a kid or two out in the car while they nip inside to rob a place. But what’s not so common and for a very good reason I should add is the car in question being a cab. The incident occurred shortly before 3:30 a.m. …