Did You Guys Hear All The Loud, Useless Noise After The Emergency Alert?

Today in people who can fuck right off in the direction of hell and hopefully choke on a party-sized bag of dicks on their way if good fortune is smiling on the rest of us: Everyone complaining about getting Amber Alerts on their phones yesterday. The Ontario Provincial Police had issued the alert for a missing …

Google Made A Human Sounding AI And It Feels Kind Of Gross

Listen to this phone call. And now listen to this phone call. Just somebody calling to make reservations and appointments. Nothing odd about that, right? Well, nothing aside from neither of the callers being human. Today we announce Google Duplex, a new technology for conducting natural conversations to carry out “real world” tasks over the …

Get To Know Your Friends…A Little Too Well

Let me try and explain the soundtrack. Years ago, my parents got their computers full of nasty viruses and malware, and they were receiving tons of spam. I was trying to figure out how things got so bad, and mom said that one day a pop-up came up asking her to click on the flying …

Info About Accessible Voting For This Provincial Election

It’s time for another election. Where the heck did those four years go? It doesn’t feel like nearly four years ago that I wrote this post about the trials and tribulations of accessible voting, but the calendar doesn’t lie. I have to say that this year, they seem to have made an accessible voting one-stop …

Is The Emergency Alert System Supposed to Alert Emergency?

As most of us in Ontario know, there was a test of the new Alert Ready emergency alert system last week. It’s a good thing it was a test because some people in Ontario didn’t get it at all, some people only got it on some of their devices, the whole province of Quebec didn’t …

Toss Those Crabs

Crabs absolutely don’t belong on TTC seats. We know this because the Toronto Transit Commission had to issue a statement saying as much this week after someone brought a few on a train ride. Why? Who knows? It could be, as this tweet suggests, simply “because Toronto.” https://twitter.com/Alice_Moran/status/993612141667278851 By the way, props to the TTC …

Control That Gun, Shooter!

Why wouldn’t the sexual harassment accusations against a man named Don Shooter involve him comparing his dong to a shooter? It’s just common sense, really. Shooter’s first and most prominent accuser was state Rep. Michelle Ugenti-Rita, a fellow Republican. According to the Arizona Republic, Ugenti-Rita said Shooter sought a romantic relationship with her on several …

He’s An Easy Temper

Not sure who comes off looking worse here, honestly. Off-duty McDonald’s employee Phillip Bailey for chucking a smoothie at a 91-year-old man during a stupid drive thru argument, or Johnnie Douglas, the 91-year-old man in question, for reacting to the yogurt-based assault by returning fire with an actual gun. The Indiana McDonald’s altercation that later …

At Least They Won’t Have To Worry About Brain Damage

I hate saying this because generally speaking I don’t ever want to see bad things happen to people, but let’s be honest, some of them just fucking deserve it. Like, for instance, these nine idiots who opened mail that didn’t belong to them, found powder inside and then, thinking it might be cocaine, divvied it …