A Few Quick Jokes From The Inbox

*My wife asked me if she was the only one I’d been with. I said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

*I just got a copy of Steven Tyler’s new Chinese cookbook. Wok this way.

*I went to my hairdresser and said, “Can you cut my hair like David Bowie?”

He made a right mess of it. I said, “This is terrible!”

He said, “Yeah, but David Bowie can’t cut hair…”

*News : ’74 Year Old Man Clubbed To Death’.

Wow, what a party animal!

*Q: Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends?

A: Because he’s married.

*Q: What is a wolf’s favourite metal?

A: Awoominum.

*Me: I’m terrified of random letters.

Psychiatrist: Oh, are you?

(Screaming begins)

Psychiatrist: Oh I see.

(Screaming intensifies)

*How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make that noise? I could see that taking a long time. I bet there was like a thousand years where people were like, ‘Yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.’

*Q: What’d The Seven Dwarfs say when Snow White woke up from her deep sleep?

A: “I guess it’s back to jerking off.”

*Q: What’d the Chinese kid name his pet lion?

A: Ryan.

*They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Turns out the parents of that cerebral palsy kid on my street strongly disagree.

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