Internet Explosion Jesus

Last Updated on: 24th October 2014, 06:20 pm

Remember the demise of the jesus statue, which led to us finding out about the “Big Butter Jesus song? I guess lots of people liked that song, and have been writing new endings for it describing, well, Big Butter Jesus’s end. There’s electrostatic Jesus, which I thought was his, but upon closer inspection, it’s not his. But it’s funny, so I thought I’d link to it. Here’s another video, complete with sizzling jesus. Oy! hearing that sizzle gives me the creeps.

And I couldn’t find an audio version, but I got Heywood Banks’s supposed new lyrics from this blog post, and she got them out of the Dayton Daily News, so hopefully they didn’t screw ’em up.

“One night Big Butter got hit by lightning
It burned to the frame wire in a giant grease fire.
Some blamed it on Satan, and boy, that would be frightening
But I thought it was Jesus’ father who was in charge of lightning.”

And The new chorus:

“Big fireball Jesus, flaming shot Jesus, charbroiled Jesus, Opa! Jesus,
extra crispy Jesus, bananas foster Jesus, I’m put out it’s not Jesus, Charcoal-y
O Lord.”

Yes! Yup, Heywood’s version wins! Barb, does that sound like the right words?

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