Singin’ In The Uranium

Last Updated on: 12th March 2023, 09:11 pm

Residents of a small town in the Okanagan Valley have been told not to worry their pretty little heads over the state of their local water supply, because according to Marty Willfong, the district’s general manager of development services, the unacceptably high levels of Uranium found in it
used to be safe until those dumbdumb poopoofaces at the government decided to change the standards 5 years ago,
so obviously those levels won’t actually hurt anybody now.

Unfortunately, nothing about whether or not this nitwit ever had anything to do with the water in Walkerton was mentioned in the original news article.

Pssst, Marty. come here for a second. No no, a little closer, I want to make sure you hear this really well. A few years ago it was acceptable to cover things in lead, asbestos was a fine building material, and drinking and driving wasn’t so much frowned upon as it was something that made you sorta cool in a way. None of those things are the case anymore, and in spite of what you might think, it’s not the fault of the standards as much as it is of the research that went into figuring out that these things were wrong and unsafe. Those pesky guidelines are just the resulting reaction.

And by the way, if those safety standards changed 5 years ago, you don’t have to figure out what to do “now”, you have to figure out what to do 5 years ago. Because if something happens to somebody as a result of your boneheaded attitude, it’s on your head, buddy boy.

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