Miss, Please Put Your Mounds Away

Damn cops, always ruining everybody’s good time. I’m sure this was the funnest house in the neighbourhood by a mile. An Anne Arundel County woman was arrested Monday after police say she screamed obscenities and exposed herself to children trick-or-treating on Halloween night. Around 7:30 p.m. Monday, officers were called to the 3600 block of …

Facebook Is Garbage, Part Whatever

There are a lot of reasons to hope that Facebook will just go ahead and die right along with Twitter, and this here is definitely one of them. Under our rules Donald Trump is a politician because he announced that he is running for president again, and as such our fact checkers are no longer …

Twitter Is Doing Great. If It Could Tweet, It Would Tell You As Much

The Elon Musk takeover of Twitter is going even better than I expected. Hate speech is on the rise, advertisers are leaving in droves, half the company got fired and then some of them got asked to come back because they were either laid off by accident or found to be more important than anticipated, …

Guy Attends Sporting Event

CTV returns with the hardest hitting piece of sports journalism since was that Kawhi Leonard? Who cares, let’s go with it. I hope you’re sitting down for this one, everybody. Todd from around here has World Cup tickets! The world’s game will bring sporting fanatics from around the world to Qatar to enjoy soccer’s greatest …

Get Ready To Remember Another Damn Area Code, Southern Ontario

I know the answer is that nowadays each individual has at least one and sometimes more depending on his job, but now and then I still can’t help asking myself just how in the hell there are so many phones. Even though southern Ontario just got a third area code in 2016, its already in …

That Big Bang You Heard Was Dad’s Head Exploding

Have you ever seen someone try to flick a cigarette butt out of a speeding car but it blows back in and lands somewhere and then there’s a frantic search and moment of panic while everyone looks for it and puts it out? I remember my dad hitting me with one of those once when …

Even If I Walk Instead, They’re Still Driving Out There. It’s Been Nice Knowing You

I don’t drive so perhaps I shouldn’t be judging, but I’ve got to tell you that as a passenger, the fact that Uber feels it necessary to prevent its drivers from making left turns and remind them to watch for traffic at intersections is not at all comforting. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety …

No Thanks To The Clowns At Yahoo News, Here Is When You Can Expect The Next Emergency Alert Test

Most of Canada should get itself prepared to jump out of its skin this coming Wednesday, November 16th. At some point that day, there is going to be a test of the Alert Ready emergency alert system. I would love to tell you when, but because some lazy fucker at Yahoo News decided to stick …