There’s a bit of everything here. Racial slurs. Death threats. Apple throwing. Flower smashing. Relations with a refrigerator. Thank you, Seattle Police Department blotter. On Aug. 5 at about a 2:15 p.m., patrol officers responded to the 1700 block of East Madison Street following a report of a man using racial slurs and brandishing a …
Category Archives: news
Mamma Mia, Pizzeria, Someone Went To Eataria
A restaurant getting shut down by the health department because a group of people were poisoned there and it also turned out to be infested with bugs is most definitely news, but not the sort of news we generally deal with here. But when all of that happens to you and you’ve named your restaurant …
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The Incredible Dr. Pole
Pretty sure I emptied the old pun cannon on the title, so I’ll just go ahead and leave this here. Sunderland man ‘watched porn as he masturbated over captured seagull’ Lesley Burgess, prosecuting, told the court Lee chased one bird before picking up a smaller gull – and was caught on CCTV looking at his …
🎶 Honk Honk Honk Honk WaddleLoo: Know Where The Geese Are and Have a Clue. 🎶
Man, I knew the geese were vicious as heck. I had heard lots of stories about geese attacking folks for their croissants near the University of Waterloo campus, and children getting chased by geese outside the Catalyst building where I work, among other stories. I know in the case of the children, their parents started …
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There Really Ought To Be A Light There
If you’re going to spend your night out doing classic criminal things like driving with a license you don’t have while wearing borrowed pants and mysteriously meth-filled socks, for the love of god man, don’t stop at the imaginary stop sign! This goes double if the police are already in the area. Police located methamphetamine …
Wen You Hear A Whistle, Moooooooooooooove!
We don’t get good train stories very often anymore, but here’s one. It’s obviously not good for everyone, but you know. A pensioner was killed in a freak accident when he was struck by a flying cow launched 100ft into the air by an express train. Shivdayal Sharma, 82, was reportedly urinating next to a …
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You’re Sure It’s Closed?
Don’t get me wrong, you should never, ever do this. But counterpoint, what kind of bum ass, bush league supermarket closes the goddamn meat department while the rest of the store is still open? That’s some bullshit is what that is. Court documents show that officers responded to the scene and ordered Gay to get …
Thanks For Lunch, Anna Mae
I can’t remember exactly when I first went to Anna Mae’s, but I think it was far enough back in the 90s that my family hadn’t split up yet, so 95 or earlier. It was always such a treat to go. Still is, actually. I was in there last summer for lunch with my mom …
She’s Not Running Against You Anymore, Dude
I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I either understand or particularly care about local Mississauga politics. I just want you to listen to this dipshit. Premier Doug Ford says if former Liberal leader Bonnie Crombie tries to come back as Mississauga mayor he “will send an army down here” to help incumbent …
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The Ford Government Is Transparent, All Right
I’ve probably said this before, but I think it needs repeating. For a guy who says he doesn’t drink, Doug Ford sure governs like someone with a serious drinking problem. There are all of the bad decisions he’s loudly made and then regretfully walked back a few days later, but there’s also stuff like buck …
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