Dumpster And Donation Box May Start With The Same Letter, But They Are Not The Same

It gets hard sometimes when you have to pay attention to the news, but no matter what, I always do my best to hold on to my belief that in spite of what feels like literally everything now, people are, over all, good and well-meaning. And while I’m sure that’s true of most of the …

It’s Not Just The Municipal Sector They Don’t Understand, I Assure You

Great news, you guys! Based on some of the comments in this anonymous survey of municipal administrators, I think I might be qualified to work for the city! Well, at least if banging on about most of this same stuff for almost a decade counts towards the standard. The survey, conducted by government relations firm …

As AI Whitney Houston Might Say, I Bulorve That Choldreninen Are Our Fuviture

Tell me again about how AI is the future, because it sure as shit ain’t the present. A school in Kentucky sent students home with a bound agenda that included absurd errors clearly made by AI. The periodic table was nonsense. The map of the U.S. lists the state of Illinois as “Vitoiis,” and Kentucky …

A Lot Of People Are Saying I Make The Best Mexican Food

I’m familiar with TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out) and NACHO (Not A Chance Hormuz Opens) as food acronyms to describe Trump’s approach to policy. But apparently I’m behind the times, because I was unaware of two more that people have been using. One of the benefits of having no social media, perhaps. Anyway, they’re fun, …

Please Stop Ruining Corn On The Cob For Everyone

There’s some internet wisdom I’ve heard over the years that says that when a headline contains a question, the answer to that question is almost always no. Quite often, it’s correct. But here’s one of those almosts I was talking about. Is It Rude To Shuck Corn Before Buying? We Asked an Expert This has …

I’m Proud To Introduce Our New Lead Detective

There was a ridiculous story back in February that we never got around to posting, but since there’s an update, let’s fix that now. A police officer, clearly one of the department’s best and brightest, pulled a woman over for texting and driving because he had seen her holding a phone in her right hand. …

Somebody Hire This Man, Because This Was A Home Run

I don’t know how much Lewis Kalb paid to win this call an inning of baseball on the radio auction, but judging by how well he did, I think the Phillies ought to be paying him. It’s hard to believe that it is, but if this really is the first time he’s ever done commentary, …

Just Because He’s Dead Doesn’t Mean Her Life Has To Be Over

It’s not every day that being found dead next to a life-sized sex doll isn’t the most embarrassing part of such an event, but here we are. Investigators say Ryan Smith, 41, and a colleague were dispatched last week to a home at the Rock Creek Apartments in Omaha to collect the body of an …

Okie-Dokie, I’ll Go Ahead And Post This For You

I remember the first time I heard about those AI services that could summarize your inbox and send emails for you. “What a stupid idea,” I recall thinking. “I’d spend more time cleaning up after it than I would getting anything else done, and I’m sure it would wind up missing a bunch of important …