Last Updated on: 15th January 2023, 10:59 am
This has been in my head since I came home from San Diego. On the plane, in their entertainment selections, which I can’t select myself because it’s touchscreen *mutters under breath*, there was Just for Laughs stuff in there. Because my seatmate/coworker was kind enough to push the buttons, I listened to this song.
Here are the awesome lyrics.
Atheists Don’t Have No Songs (AKA The Atheist Hymnal)
Christians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews,
Baptists have the rock of ages,
Atheists just sing the blues.Romantics play Claire de Lune,
Born agains sing “He is risen,”
But no one ever wrote a tune,
For godless existentialism.For Atheists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.Some folks sing a Bach cantata,
Lutherans get Christmas trees,
Atheist songs add up to nada,
But they do have Sundays free.Pentecostals sing to heaven,
Coptics have the books of scrolls,
Numerologists can count to seven,
Atheists have rock and roll.For Atheists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.Atheists don’t have no songs.
Christians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews,
Baptists have the rock of ages,
Atheists just sing the blues.Catholics dress up for Mass,
And listen to, Gregorian chants.
Atheists just take a pass, Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.Atheists don’t have no songs.
I just wanted to belt that line out on the plane.
I have more I want to say…I just hope I manage to actually say it. In the meantime, good luck getting this song out of your head. Mwa ha ha.
