FoldiMate: The Overpriced, Half-assed Laundry Helper You’ve Been Waiting For

Last Updated on: 13th February 2018, 12:02 pm
Normally I would start off a post like this by wondering aloud just who is the target market for our friend FoldiMate here, but you know what? Not today. There’s no need. I know exactly who this is aimed at. Idiots. Idiots with way too much money and nothing to do with it. Seriously, what other answer can there be? Who but the most well-to-do of morons is spending nearly $1,000 on a copy machine sized monster that can fold some but not all of their laundry?

That’s right, some.

“Regular shirts?”



“You bet.”


“The button-up ones? Yeah, we got you.”


“Yup, we’ve just figured those out.”

“Pillow cases?”

“Nailed those down in the new version, too.”

“What about socks or underwear or sweaters or hoodies or anything in my baby’s wardrobe?”

“Uh…well…you see…here’s the thing…it’s like this…erm…No.”

And not only can it not handle that many things, but you have to stand there feeding the ones it can into it individually instead of, gasp, folding them your goddamn self.

For what you get for the price, why not just hire a maid? I know they might want a day off here and there and the odd one is going to rifle your jewelry box, but at least they know how to fold a friggin sleeper.

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