“What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?” “I Appear To Be Lost In An Administrative Loop”

This is hardly the dumbest 911 story we’ve ever seen, but something about it keeps saying “Steve, post me,” so who am I to argue? Police say that on Feb. 2, the man attended the Superior Court of Justice to obtain help completing family court documents. After staff advised they are not permitted to provide …

Clean Up Your Act, You Two

As a blind person living in a big apartment building, I sort of understand this. Only difference between him and I is that he’s calling just because his clothes were removed and I’d be calling to self-report the beating that I could not guarantee I would be able to refrain from giving to the person …

What Are You Doing, You Fuels! That’s Not A Safeway To Carry That!

Even after all these years, there are still times when I think to myself that if I see anything dumber than this today, I’ll be surprised. This is one of them. A man in Phoenix, Arizona, was taken to the hospital with serious burns after being found near a car that was also on fire. …

How Does This Work? Do I Get 20% Off?

At the best of times, the entire concept of tipping is nearly 100% bullshit. But business, as it so often does, has found a way to not only hit 100% bullshit on that scale, but also to redefine what maximum bullshit percentages even are. That’s right, they’re asking for tips at self-checkouts now. The Wall …

How About You Come Sleep Inside, My Man

I don’t drive, but I have driven with a lot of people. Sometimes those people get tired. Sometimes tired enough that them continuing to drive simply isn’t safe. So I understand why perhaps this fellow might have decided to get himself the heck off the road and take a little nap. I can also understand …

I’m Makin’ A Move, But Not A Very Long One

Other than the running and the paperwork, this sounds like a pretty easy night on the job. Officers responded to a Walmart in Knoxville around 9 p.m. Saturday and found Donald Kirkland in possession of stolen items, the report stated. Police said Kirkland ran from the officers but was eventually taken into custody. Kirkland told …

With Your Head That High In The Clouds, Maybe You’ll See Him Coming Down

No matter how smart and aware you are, you can get scammed. We have people in our family cleaning up after some bank fraud right now. Scam busting people have been tricked. Things happen. Sometimes rather sophisticated things. And then there’s this. The pair started corresponding through Instagram on June 28, and the scammer claimed …

It’s Way Better Than Working. It’s A Train Crash!

Something tells me that every night for these two might be a slow one. In an effort to make sure that they would have a slow night on the job at Wendy’s, Ryan Boria and Amy Schaner hatched themselves one heckuva plan. According to police, the logic went that if the two could find a …

Secret Secret, I Got A Secret

I need to confess something, because the TV is slowly driving me insane. There’s this commercial that keeps playing “Mr. Roboto” by Styx, and every time it plays, I want to hide. Here is why. Seven years ago, I was at one of the Toronto accessibility conferences. I attended a session about considering the elderly …